Two situations today made me think about a question that plagues many teachers, administrators, and parents. How do you make them see?

The first student belligerently refused to serve her assigned detention. She knew that such a refusal would get her suspended, an outcome which she totally was in favor of. She is seventeen years old and has almost no high school credits in three years. She wants to drop out of school and the only thing holding her back was her mother’s refusal to sign off on this choice. In this state you can drop out at her age with parental permission. She said, “I hate school. I won’t go. You can’t make me.” She repeated this to her mother in my office. My question to her was, “Ok, lets say your mom gives in and allows you to drop out. Then what” She mumbled something about getting a job. “What kind of job could you do?” She couldn’t name a single job that she would be willing to do or was qualified for. “Don’t you think you should be able to answer that question before you talk about quitting school?” Thirty minutes of a conversation with her mother and I produced no answers. How do you make her see what her choices will lead to?

Then there was the young man handcuffed in my office at the end of the day. He was also seventeen years old but was not even one of our students. He had wandered in off the streets with some of his buddies, got belligerent with the security guards, and found himself handcuffed with the police on the way. He calmed down after awhile and we chatted about what he was doing. “I think I might go back to school sometime.” “Oh yeah….when?” “I dunno…sometime”. Then he related to me that his girlfriend was pregnant and that he would be a father in a few months. I asked him if he wanted his daughter/son to have a father that found himself getting arrested or thrown in jail. He told me that his own father had spent most of the past twenty years in jail. He said he didn’t want to be like his dad. I told him that it seemed to me he was headed in that direction. He disagreed. I asked him if he had a job and he mentioned getting fired last week. I said to him softly, “don’t you see where this is going? No job. No school. If you don’t make a change you’re headed down the same path? How do you make him see?

Creating a vision of the future and tying it to present day actions is a major challenge in schools and in the home. How do you create that connection between what happens today and what happens in the future? How do you make someone understand that what feels good right now will lead you down a path to ruination? You relate your own mistakes, those of others, and try to say, “you don’t have to do this.” You are young and the world is there for you to seize.

How do you make them see?