Something is not right here. That is what I was thinking as I talked to the 7th grade girl this morning. A lifetime of being around kids, the power of observation, and yes, a gut instinct, tells me that there are severe problems in this young girl's life and that we are only scratching the surface of the real issues in her life.

In education we sometimes like to think that everything is scientific, measurable, proven, or logical. There are researched proven methods to deal with almost anything. We have policies and procedures on our policies and procedures. For things we don't have policies on, the lawyers tell us what we can and can't do. For those that we don't, there are always politicians passing laws.

But as with many other human endeavor, sometimes it comes down to your gut, your instincts, your powers of observation, and what that little voice in your head is telling you.

I've seen this little girl before. One day we were notified that her mother had been thrown in jail. No one on her emergency list was available to pick her up after school. So we sat there for hours before finally reaching someone who was "legal" to pick her up from school.

I haven't seen her file but I know what classes she is in and know what her "classification" is. She is a special student, an attractive girl with great big eyes. She's also a deeply troubled girl. Its written all over her in her actions, her words, the way she looks at you, the way she reacts.

She touches other students in ways that aren't appropriate. She flips up her skirt walking down the hall in full view of others. She sometimes flinches when I talk to her, even though I'm speaking very softly but firmly. Its like she is flinching for what I might say or what I might do. She looks me square in the eyes for a few moments and then retreats back into herself. She clutches herself and nods as I talk to her. She's scared of me. I don't want her to be.

None of the phone numbers on her contact information work of course. Even if they did, I'm not honestly sure if I should be making that call. There is something wrong at her home. Maybe its not directly with the mother but something is wrong. Her stepfather doesn't live there anymore but he is still involved with her mother. I'm suspicious. It felt creepy when I met him. I wonder what the reason is that he's not there.

I've got a whole lotta nothing, except some creepy feelings. The counselor agrees with me that something is going on. The counselor is female and I send the girl off to spend some time with her. Maybe she'll open up, if she can. She's a perfect target for abuse, you know. She's physically maturing but lacks the communication skills and resourcefulness that might protect other girls her age.

I let the counselor do her job but I can't stop thinking about the girl the rest of the afternoon. I get home and search sex offender registries for the stepdad, just in case. He isn't there but that of course doesn't mean much. Maybe I'm wrong and I would hate to ever accuse anyone falsely. Maybe something happened before he came along. Its all conjecture you know. No verbal or physical evidence that anything is amiss. We monitor and watch, but how would we know?

I could tell dozens, if not hundreds, of stories just like this one. This is what many people don't seem to understand about public education these days. "Accountability!", they cry. "More tests!", they say. "Merit pay!" "Lottery money!" "School consolidation!" "Revise the curriculum.....again!" "Fire the teachers!" (somewhat funny since we have vacancies that are still unfilled a month into school).

What are they missing? The ever so human side of the kids that walk through those doors each day. The things that are going on in their lives. The puzzles we have to unlock to have a chance of ever teaching that child anything meaningful. We do it because we love it, but I wish every member of the public could follow me for a day.

I desperately want for my school to be off that dreaded "list" after this year. I am working like crazy to make that happen. I can almost quote you the individual standardized test scores of all of our 8th graders, all 150 of them. I could get pretty close anyway. I'm seeing scores in my sleep. Give me a few weeks and I'll know all the 7th grade scores too. Many of us are working incredibly hard to make sure those kids are given every opportunity to do well on that test. Then we get off the list.

Here's the question for you to ponder though. What if we are so test and score driven that a little girl like this one goes unnoticed? What if she becomes just a number? No one gets fired if her issues go unexplored and she goes unaided. People do get fired or reassigned if those test scores aren't squared away. Test scores are important. Then again, kids lives are pretty damned important too.

So its back around full circle. I'll deal with her again, trying to find that perfect blend of being an authority figure who tells her that certain behaviors are wrong along with being caring and compassionate. Sounds like a parent, doesn't it? Sometimes you feel powerless, like all these things outside are so far beyond your control. So you focus on what you can control. We can't control what has happened to this girl in the past, but we can teach her proper behavior and provide a safe environment for her at school.

Thats what gets me up in the morning. This girl needs me. She needs her counselor and her teacher. She needs the secretary at the desk who always smiles at her. She needs people who care enough to pay attention to what she says and to what she doesn't say.

Some day long in the future I'll be done with all of this. I'll be sitting on some waterfront sipping a drink, looking out into the rippling water. How will I judge what I've done? Will I be proud of test scores I've increased? Sure. But as I watch those ripples dance in the moonlight I want to be able to say that I did everything possible to help every kid whose life I happened to touch.

I'll judge myself on the human factor.
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