The recent stories about possible terrorist attacks this summer made me reflect back to 9-11. Like the Kennedy assassination for my parents, I will remember that day for the rest of my life.

September 11, 2001 started off for me as a normal day. It was a Tuesday, and we always have faculty meetings on Tuesday mornings. I awoke a few minutes late and grabbed a quick shower and ran out the door. I often listen to a news radio station on the way to work, but I had a Pink Floyd CD playing in my car stereo and decided to leave it in and listen to music during my 30 minute drive.

I arrived at work blissfully unaware that anything had happened. I put my backpack in my classroom and rushed to the library for our faculty meeting. I walked in and instantly knew something was wrong. The expressions on my colleague's faces was striking. My principal started talking about "this tragedy" and I didn't know what he was talking about. Questions and comments flew around the room and I soon picked up the gist of what had happened. A lot of stories that turned out to be unsubstantiated were bandied about.

We considered whether to hold school that day. No one had yet put these attacks in any kind of context and there were concerns about student safety. We also had a trip to the state fair planned for the next day and quickly decided to cancel that. We also made a decision that TVs in classrooms would not be on during the day. We didn't want students watching those horrific images all day at school. I felt like my older students (juniors and seniors) could handle it, but the decision was made to have a uniform rule of no televisions.

I was going nuts! I desperately wanted to turn to CNN and find out what was going on. Deprived of that, I turned to the internet. I repeatedly surfed news sites, refreshing them over and over again. Pictures began to be posted and some of the news was clearer as the day went on. I read news stories out loud to the students and we discussed it. What did all this mean? Who did it? Why would they do it? How many were dead? What was our response going to be? What should it be?

I used my lunch hour and planning period to find a television where no students were present. I watched those planes hit the Twin Towers over and over and over again. I listened to retired generals, military experts, and experts on terrorism pontificate.

I raced home and flipped my TV onto the news. For the rest of the evening I barely budged from the couch. My children cuddled up next to me and I tried to explain what had happened to them. The biggest question of course was "why"..and that was the question I was least able to answer. For the next couple of weeks I was a total news junkie. I bought every newspaper and magazine I could get my hands on. I surfed the net and watched television. I tried to make some sense of it all.

Now here we are almost three years later. We are in still in the middle of a "war on terrorism" which I support but perhaps don't fully understand. I want victory but am not sure how to define it. Its a cliche to say that the world changed on 9-11 but it really did in many respects. The students I teach were the first group to grow up outside of the "Cold War". They didn't fear nuclear annihilation like I did as a child, and like students did when I first started teaching. Their world was a relatively friendly place. Sure, there might be a war or famine far away but the impact on their lives was minimal. Their country and their lives were not threatened by outside forces. That all disappeared when the first plan slammed into that tower.

They lost their innocence and so did the rest of us.
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