I was tagged by Lu to do this meme and she is awfully difficult to say no to. Rather than fight the power, I submit my answers forthwith!

1. Do you try to look hot when you go to the grocery store just in case someone recognizes you from your blog?

I'd have a hard time looking "hot" if I was getting an Emmy award, clad in a bejeweled tuxedo. No, I don't make any extra effort when I go grocery shopping.

2. Are the photos you post Photoshopped or otherwise altered?
Not all. I considered adding hair but thought better of it.

3. Do you like it when creeps or dorks email you?

I love getting email even from creeps or dorks.

4. Do you lie in your blog?

Would I admit that here? That would kinda defeat the purpose. I don't lie, but I don't always share everything. Writer's privilege and all that.

5. Are you passive-aggressive in your blog?

I'm neither passive nor aggressive or any combination thereof.

6. Do you ever threaten to quit writing so people will tell you not to stop?

I don't think I've ever threatened to quit writing.

7. Are you in therapy? If not, should you be? If so, is it helping?

I probably should be but I'm not. I've been into a lot of "self therapy", reading books and articles, and staring at my navel.

8. Do you delete mean comments? Do you fake nice ones?

Believe it or not, I've never received a mean comment. I've had commenters who disagreed with me, but they always did so in a civilized way.

I've never faked a comment of any kind. Why would I? I already believe I have the best commenters in the blog world.

9. Have you ever rubbed one out while reading a blog? How about after?

Well, there was this one time in blog camp.......

10. If your readers knew you in person, would they like you more or like you less?

That is a difficult question to answer. I have met several of my readers and knew some of them before I started blogging. I guess I'll leave it to them to answer this question if they wish.

11. Do you have a job?

Yes, I write about it often here.

12. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it?

Maybe not full-time unless you're talking life-changing money, but I'd love to be paid to blog part-time. Thats like getting paid to watch football games, have sex, or drink margaritas.

13. Which blogger do you want to meet in real life?

I've met several bloggers in real life and enjoyed meeting each of them. I've come to the conclusion that bloggers totally rock. I'm going to assert blogger's privilege and name a few that I haven't met that I would enjoy meeting:

Ellen - a fellow educator who has inspired me often during the time I've been reading her.

Veronica - a talented artist, passionate human being who has lived life her way. I've learned much from her.

Thomai - because she is one of a kind. A talented woman who makes me think.

Phoenix - because she is talented, empathetic, and has a big heart.

Vickie - because, well, she's Vickie!

I'm just getting warmed up! So many more. Ok, I must write a post about this. I guess I'd mess up this meme if I put 50 names here, wouldn't I? There are so many of you I'd LOVE to meet.

14. Which bloggers have you made out with?

A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell. I started to give a number here but decided that discretion is the better part of valor.

15. Do you usually act like you have more money or less money than you really have?

I try to act like I have more money but I can't pull it off anymore.

16. Does your family read your blog?

One of my brothers reads it as do both of my ex wives.

17. How old is your blog?

Coming up on two years. Stay tuned for the blogiversary bash!

18. Do you get more than 1000 page views per day? Do you care?

Only in my dreams.

19. Do you have another secret blog in which you write about being depressed, slutty, or a liar?

Yes, but I never talk about lying.

20. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing?

No, but I've read some that deserved it. Give me Bill Gates' fortune and I'll fund a huge stable of talented bloggers.

21. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes?

Every last penny. Now if only I could earn a penny.

22. Is blogging narcissistic?

Sure it is. Otherwise, all these posts I've written would be Word documents buried on my hard drive.

23. Do you feel guilty when you don't post for a long time?

I don't go without posting for a long time. The only times I've been away for more than a day or two I've asked guest bloggers to fill the void.

24. Do you like John Mayer?

Sure thing.

25. Do you have enemies?

Unless bill collectors get very personal in their work, I don't think I have any.

26. Are you lonely?

Is singing "Hey There Lonely Boy" to yourself a bad sign?

27. Why bother?

I ask myself that all the time. So far I've found a reason every day. The best reasons are snoozing in their beds as I write this.

I won't tag anyone, but if you feel up to doing this one please let me know!

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Where has the week gone anyway? It can't possibly be Wednesday already.

I begin the "Principal Aspirant Academy" tomorrow. I'll be gone from my building all day. I was scrambling around today to prepare things for my absence. Being gone takes so much work!

Its COOL outside here this evening. Dare I say that it almost feels chilly? Is this just an autumn tease before the heat returns tomorrow?

Patrick wants me to buy him a Halloween costume now. Why? So that he can wear it around the house for the next four weeks. We'd be lucky if the costume still existed by the time Halloween rolls around. This is the voice of experience speaking here!

My morning today began with a dead battery in my van. Nothing like that *click* *click* *click* sound to start your day. I guess one of the kids (or maybe me!) left a door open and the battery drained during the night. A jump start and I was good to go the rest of the day.

A student had been unmercifully teasing another student. I brought the teaser into my office and had a little chat with him. I asked him if there were any names that other people called him that drove him crazy. "Yeah", he said, "I hate being called Bullfrog". I looked at him quizically. He said, "you know, like the song!" His name is Jeremiah. I asked if he even knew the song and he shook his head. I told him the lyrics and he smiled and said, "I guess thats not so bad, but I don't drink wine."

I spend a ton of time in the part of the building that houses our special education students. Its on the far side of the building from my office but I make multiple trips down there each day to deal with students. My boss came upon me talking to a student outside the classroom down there today, waited for me to finish, pointed to the storage closet door, and said, "Brian, I think I need to put your name above that door and make you an office down here." I think she was only half-joking!

A student told a teacher, "fuck you" and sat in my office. I let him sit there in silence for awhile as I finished a project I was working on. I turned to him and asked, "why did you say that to the teacher?" He said, "I wasn't saying it to her". "Oh yeah? Well, who were you saying it to?" Head down, he said, "I wasn't saying it to anybody. I was just saying it." I said, "let me get this straight. You walk around saying "fuck you" to no one in particular?" He nodded. I wasn't buying it and neither were his parents.

Yet another student got in trouble in class and told me the reason he was being loud and acting up was that the boys around him kept saying, "Kiddie Blues". Thats right, kiddy blues. He didn't know what it meant but it annoyed him greatly. I called in the other guys and they couldn't seem to explain what was up with "kiddie blues". I listened to all the explanations and told them I had a few points to make:
1) to the kid who was so annoyed- I'd hate to see what would happen if someone actually said something really bad to you.
2) to all of them- I don't like it when people make fun of the blues. I happen to like the blues.
3) I have a new song they were all going to be singing if they came back to my office with anymore of this nonsense. My own special song. I call it the "detention blues". Do any of you want to learn it?

They didn't seem interested in my song at all.

I just finished reading "Love and Honor" by Randall Wallace. Set in 18th century Russia, the novel depicts an American soldier sent by Benjamin Franklin to seduce Russian tsarina Catherine the Great, persuading her not to send soldiers to help the British put down the American Revolution. One fascinating historical fact that is liberally used in the novel is that Catherine had a group of ladies who worked for her called "provers". Their job? To seduce the most virile and handsome men in the Russian officer corps, discover the best lovers, and furnish those names to Catherine, who was known to have a voracious sexual appetite. Catherine would bring them in and have her way with them. The provers were supposed to keep her from being disappointed. Bad things happened to men who disappointed Catherine in bed. Geez, no pressure there!

So how is YOUR week going?
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At my age I've become cynical about a lot of things. Politics? The church? Big time sports? I often view them with the jandiced eye of someone who has read so many stories over the years. These big institutions have let us down time and time again.

I love sports, but the P.R. pieces I read about athletes and teams sometimes cause me to roll my eyes. Its just entertainment after all. Its not that I don't think there are good people out there. But you can only read about so many sports idols who let down their adoring fans without getting a little jaded.

This story felt different to me. What Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis did last weekend really hit me in the gut. Tears came to my eyes reading this story and seeing a short piece about it on ESPN. What did he do? He met last week with 10 year old Montana Mazurkiewicz who suffered from an inoperable brain tumor. Montana knew he was very close to death when the football coach of his beloved Notre Dame came to his home and sat with him in his living room.

He told Montana about some pranks he played on Joe Montana — whom Montana was named after — while they were roommates at Notre Dame.

“I gave him a chance to hammer me on the Michigan State loss, which he did very well. He reminded me of my son,” said Weis, whose son, Charlie Jr., is 12 years old.

“He told me about his love for Notre Dame football and how he just wanted to make it through this game this week,” Weis said. “He just wanted to be able to live through this game because he knew he wasn’t going to live very much longer.”

As Weis talked to the boy, Cathy Mazurkiewicz rubbed her son’s shoulder trying to ease his pain. Weis said he could tell the boy was trying not to show he was in pain.

His mother told Montana, who had just become paralyzed from the waist down a day earlier because of the tumor, to toss her a football Weis had given him. Montana tried to throw the football, put could barely lift it. So Weis climbed into the reclining chair with him and helped him complete the pass to his mother.

Charlie Weis is a bigtime football coach. He was the offensive coordinator last year for the Super Bowl winning New England Patriots and is the new head coach at America's most fabled college program. He'll make more money this year than most of us will make in our lifetimes. He had a big game coming up that weekend, but he took the time to spend some time with this young man.

Montana was in terrible pain during this meeting but he was trying to be tough for the coach. They talked about football and about life. I cannot imagine what a thrill this must've been for Montana. The head coach of his favorite team sitting in his living room. For that precious moment he was able to smile through the pain.

Montana didn't just want to talk though. He had a suggestion for the coach. Weis asked him if there was anything he could do for him. What did this young boy want? He wanted to call the first play in Saturday's game. Weis agreed. Montana's call? Pass right. Thats all....pass right.

Before he left Montana's house, Weis signed a football for Montana. His inscription?
"Live for today for tomorrow is always another day"

Game day arrived on Saturday. Notre Dame played the University of Washington. Weis shared with his team the story of Montana. I absolutely love his reason why he chose to share this story with his athletes.

Weis said he told the team about the visit. He said it wasn’t a “Win one for the Gipper” speech, because he doesn’t believe in using individuals as inspiration. He just wanted the team to know people like Montana are out there.

“That they represent a lot of people that they don’t even realize they’re representing,” Weis said.

What a powerful lesson for a bunch of college guys. Weis is right. Athletes and other stars sometimes don't truly realize the impact they have on kids. How much they look up to them, scrutinize them, and model themselves after them.

Notre Dame recovered a fumble on its own 1 yard line. Your own one yard is a very dangerous place to throw a pass on the first play. Most teams will try a running play to get a few yards of breathing room. Montana's mom thought the same thing as she watched the game.

“I just closed my eyes. I thought, ‘There’s no way he’s going to be able to make that pass. Not from where they’re at. He’s going to get sacked and Washington’s going to get two points,”’ she said.

But Charlie Weis had made a promise to Montana. He called a pass to the right. A thirteen yard gain to start the game. Notre Dame went on to victory.

Montana never got to see it. He died the day before the game.

Weis called Montana's mother after the game and promised to come visit the family on Sunday with a game ball signed by the entire team. Montana's game ball.

Charlie Weis, what you did meant the world to that boy. Keeping your promise even after he passed away and in difficult circumstances? It showed me what kind of man you are. Notre Dame is lucky to have you as a coach, no matter how many games you win. I salute you as the kind of man I would want one of my children playing for. You thrilled a young man's heart. You comforted his family. You kept your word. You taught your team a lesson far more valuable than how to run a draw play. You taught them something about being men that they'll never learn in a classroom or on a football field.

Montana, rest in peace. You're a legend now.

Pass right.
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Its Monday and therefore time for a history post. My posts usually focus on an individual. This time it focuses on a movement.

Imagine there's no heaven,
It's easy if you try,
No hell below us,
Above us only sky,
Imagine all the people
living for today...

Imagine there's no countries,
It isnt hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...

John Lennon's "Imagine"

Remember the communes of the 1960's? Free love? Share and share alike. Everyone contributes for the good of the whole. Children were cared for by the group. Self reliant. No need of the outside world. It didn't begin there.

For all of human history man has looked for a better way to live. In the mid 19th century the transcendentalist movement spawned the utopian movement. Utopians believed that a "perfect society" could be built. Communal living spaces sprung up in places such as Brook Farm, New Harmony, and Oneida sprung up around the nation. Mixing religious ideals, transcedentalism, and socialism, these communities were meant to show the rest of the world a better way. If it worked, it could be applied to larger society.

The utopians were quite revolutionary in mid 19th century America. They rejected traditional notions of private property ownership, capitalism, and building wealth. The focus was on agriculture and industry, and everyone was required to do their share of the work. Writing and the arts were strongly encouraged. Traditional roles of marriage and sexuality were shunned.

The Oneida community(New York) sought to rid its habitants of traditional notions of love, marriage, and sexuality. All men and women belonged to each other. Loving just one person was regarded as "selfish love", something to be avoided. All the male and female members of the community had sex with each other. Sex was noted and kept track of to prevent members from showing "favoritism". Men underwent training by experienced women so that they could learn how to satisfy a woman. Masturbation was forbidden. Children were reared by "experts" to free their mothers to pursue other talents, but parents had regular visits with their kids. Think about that the next time you buy some Oneida silverware!

The Brook Farm community (Massachusetts), founded by Unitarian minister George Ripley focused on agriculture but had limited success due to the sandy soils of the area. Nathaniel Hawthorne, author of "The Scarlett Letter", was its most famous resident, and the commune was visited by famous writers Ralph Waldo Emerson and Horace Greeley. Growth of the mind was to be conditioned by hard farm work. They rejected modern civilization and the injustices that were part of modern life. Work hard. Expand your mind and let your intellectual pursuits blossom. Keep outside influences to a minimum. The Brook Farm community did not survive the loss of its main community building in a fire.

New Harmony was founded in southwest Indiana by George Rapp and sold to well known Welsh reformer Robert Owen. New Harmony was a hotbed of intellectual thought. The nation's first kindergarten was founded there and boys and girls were educated equally in the classroom. Everyone would work and share equally. No social divisions or classes, no crime, no injustices was the dream. Over 800 people called New Harmony home. Owen's belief? Mankind was tormented by a "trinity of evils": private property, traditional religion, and conventional marriage. New Harmony collapsed in disagreements among members and failed a few years after its founding.

Utopians believed that society and its institutions were the problem. Free people from those institutions, and men and women could improve their minds while living in peace. It sounds wonderful, doesn't it? So why did these communities fail? Why can't we all share in society's duties and its benefits? Is it necessary to have billionaires like Bill Gates and have others scrounging for food in trash cans? Utopians believed that it wasn't.

The opposing views of the time were held by traditional churches and political parties. They focused on eliminating sin and vices, and extolled the ability of anyone to go as far as their talents could take them. They didn't see the endemic problems with society that utopians saw, or if they did, believed they could be solved by reforming those institutions. In the minds of most people, utopians were hopelessly foolish dreamers. People inherently do what is in their own self interest, and will not be productive if they see those who contribute less receiving the same rewards they do.

Some utopian socialist ideas were put into practice in the 20th century. Karl Marx was influenced by the utopian movement when he wrote "The Communist Manifesto". In communist countries around the world private property was abolished. "From each according to his abilities and to each according to his needs." We know how that all turned out.

Imagine no possesions,
I wonder if you can,
No need for greed or hunger,
A brotherhood of man,
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer,
but I'm not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one.

I think Lennon would've fit right in!

Questions for the class:

Is the dream of the utopians absolutely, truly impossible?

Is it even desirable?

Is the nature of man to always do what is in his/her self interest or is it possible to have a society where people sublimate their own desires for the good of the community?

Fire away!
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Lately I've been wondering:

If Charmin's super rolls of toilet paper really have four times as much as a regular roll.

What the definition of a "relationship" is.

What people did in the days before they knew days ahead of time that huricanes were coming.

Why the very people who have no business having children have so many of them.

If anyone ever sung "Dixieland" better than Elvis.

Whether my kids are so amazing because of me or in spite of me.

Why a soft drink from Sonic somehow tastes better than one from anywhere else.

Why I love folding laundry but hate putting it away.

Whether the BBQ ribs from down the street are sent straight from heaven.

Why so many things that are so enjoyable are bad for you.

What Buddy Holly, Jimi Hendrix, and Karen Carpenter could've accomplished had they not died so young.

If New Orleans will ever be the same again.

What it would be like to have a maid help clean my house!

How B.B. King can play the guitar like that.

Why some songs bring tears to my eyes and I can't explain why.

Why some of the bloggers I read aren't millionaire novelists.

How I've been so lucky to meet so many fantastic people online.

If kids wanting to rub my head is a good or a bad thing.

Why health insurance seems to cover less, have higher deductibles, and still costs more.

If some risks are worth taking.

If I'll ever be financially secure again.

Why we can send a man to the moon but can't make a light bulb that will last for years or a car that gets 100 miles a gallon.

What it feels like to truly accept yourself and be at peace.

Why I'm so jealous every time I see someone with an IPOD!

If this country is ready for an inspirational leader that can bridge the point-scoring, backbiting, pointless labels that characterize politics today.

Why, given the fact that I'm not a big fan of country music, that I've been listening to "The Dance" a lot lately.

Why Patrick likes Halloween better than any other holiday, including Christmas!

Why most of my t-shirts are gray or black.

Thats what I've been wondering. Lately.
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The first weekend of autumn is here. Now all I need is the weather to go with it. I know I’ll be complaining about the cold in the months to come, but right now I’d give anything for a few cool breezes.

Of course, when I want a breath of fresh air, I only have to peruse my favorite blogstops. Wanna see what I mean? Read on!

Trucker Bob bemoans the cost of fuel. Steel Cowboy bemoans the cost of a cracked engine block.

Lu spent some time in the hospital. Chicky Babe spent some time on the other side.

Andie resolves to blog about what she wants to. Phoenix is resolving to stick to her diet.

Monica’s daughter is jealous of a boy she doesn’t want. Bsoholic is jealous of an Ewok.

Lil Bit flirted with some soldiers. Maddy fought with her horse.

T. Marie wonders why she bothered to get out of bed. Chaotic Serenity wonders if she’ll have to do jury duty.

Vickie thinks we should sign a life waiver. E thinks her cable company is full of it.

Buffi doesn’t care much for her father-in-law. Irina doesn’t much care for bums.

Karen is sending in pictures for Boobiethon. (scroll to Yay For Friday!). Sleeping Mommy is commenting on blog etiquette.

Splendid got to see one of her favorite bands. Stationery Queen got most of her Christmas shopping done.

Breazy shares some movie reviews. Thomai shares her desire for honesty.

Colleen is still grieving over her sister’s death. Kyra shares her thoughts about her sister.

Keb outlines what she would do if she won the lottery. Rachel outlines her views of motherhood.

Lime jumps into blogging with her first Half Naked Thursday post. Feisty Girl blogs about the military alphabet.

Teresa is trying to break the “Matthew habit.” Annabel Lee is changing her call signs.

Hillbilly Mom shares some of her odd encounters. Kris shares her favorite “little things”.

Greek Shadow doesn’t understand why some teachers are not using computers for their grades.

Christine discusses her husband’s disorders. Joan discusses her “evil” lawnmower.

DL recalls some things from when she was little. Jennifer recalls her obsession with Bruce Springsteen.

Penny is a busy girl. Kathy has been busy too.

Che ponders the idea of love. Leslie loves her guy like a big pile of dirt.

Susan welcomes her sister to the blogworld. Stephanie would welcome a little time in the hot tub.

Chosha had an adventure making juice. Margaret’s experience teaching junior high school sounds like quite an adventure.

Melanie gives us all the finger. Veronica gives us what makes her different.

Angie remembers her prom date. Scorpy may not remember her drunken evening.

Kathy encourages us to eat at Chili’s to benefit charity. I encourage you to find out more about Inky.

Sally says we are never alone. Mystic Spirit says that part of love is being there.

Restless Angel was mistaken for someone’s mom. Chrissy thinks her mom is mistaken about a few things.
Jack shares concern about his grandparents. Cindra shares hurricane notes from Carol.

Dave has some things he likes. It sounds like Funky Cowboy liked his vacation.

Stephanie got a haircut. Lip Schtick got upset at the choice of INXS’ new front man.

Seshat gives an overview of her experiences with religion. Christine gives her thoughts on the sensitivity of writers.

Pat remembers her hometown. It also happens to be my hometown! Jen will remember her old house.

Fly Girl’s mother-in-law is coming to town. Chuck just wants his Netflix movies to get there quicker.

Janine had a funny moment. Laine had quite a moment. Her husband let her read his letters to his ex-wife.

Darla lets us see the “Harley Guy”. John lets us see what its like to be affected by a hurricane….again.

Joe had a nice dinner and talked about life. Aka Monty had an “oversleeping” moment.

Anne remembers the “paradise years” of college. Sallie remembers that there are lessons to be learned from disasters.

Redneck Diva has a few questions. Lisa has a request to help a soldier.

Love on my favorites here, ok? Spread some good weekend cheer to them.

While you're at it? Have an absolutely marvelous weekend, ok?
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I'm writing my midweek post a day late. Yesterday I just had to vent about the warranty thing. I hope no one minds!

I attended a middle school football game earlier this week. You've gotta love middle school football. During the first game I watched from the press box where the air conditioner was running. In the second game I came down and sat in the bleachers with the kids to watch the game. One of the cheerleaders admonished me, "if our Dean doesn't stand during our cheers, how can we get anyone else to?" Ok, point taken.

Did you know that the last widow of a Civil War soldier died only last year? She married an 81 year old veteran of the war when she was 21 years old. After her husband passed away? She married his grandson.

I wanted something for me chapped and sore lips. The name of the product was on the tip of my lips but I couldn't think of the name. Aubree tells me, "Dad, you want Carmex. I'm an expert on lips!"

First its the car and now its my computer monitor. Light gray lines run across my monitor where they didn't this morning. The upper half of my monitor looks like lined paper. Everything is readable but its very annoying. No primal scream. Just a *sigh*.

A bright pink t-shirt worn by a boy in school says, "Don't laugh. This is your girlfriend's shirt."

I've been fussing at the warranty company guy for a couple of days. So far I've got them to add five more rental car days that they will cover. I told him that I still wasn't satisfied about the labor charges and I'd like a few more rental days covered. I'll call him again tomorrow. He's been very polite as I gently chewed on him. I told him that I appreciated what he was doing, but not to be offended if I took the items still in dispute and went to another level.

I appreciate all the comments and advice about what to do about the warranty situation. You folks absolutely rock! I may very well end up doing several of those things.

What I won't be doing is buying another one of these third party warranties. If you see me post on here about being tempted to buy one again? I offer my ass for a big hard kick.

If you read this post about the young man arrested for assaulting a teacher and his mother in the same day, I have an update. Apparently, he went to court and told the judge to, "fuck off". The judge didn't care for that remark and threw him back in lockup. Last I heard he was still there. Eleven years old. *Sigh*

On the good news front, I have been chosen to participate in my district's Principal's Aspirant Academy for this school year. A small cohort is chosen to participate each year. The idea is that you spend lots of time with the upper management of the district. There is a full day of training each month for the rest of the school year, book studies, and some "shadowing" of district leaders. Those who finish the program greatly enhance their chances for promotion within the district. Its an honor to be chosen and I'm very happy I was. My boss bent a few ears and twisted a few arms to help grease my path. I told her that her efforts meant more to me than actually getting in. Her reply? "Brian, you'll be an outstanding principal in the near future and our district needs to groom and promote talent when we find it. I don't want to lose you but you are destined for bigger things." I could've planted one right on her lips but I don't think that would've been appropriate.

Have I ever mentioned how fortunate I've been in my career to work for such great people? Every principal I've ever worked with has been absolutely wonderful to me. Each in their own way they have taught me so much. A future post about this is in order.

The kids are already dinging me about Christmas presents. How many shopping days until Christmas anyway?

So how is YOUR week going?
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Count me as an unsatisfied consumer right now. I feel like I've been through the wringer in trying to get my van repaired for the past several weeks. As you may remember, it broke down the Friday before Labor Day weekend. I just got it back yesterday. The problem you ask? Let me summarize as best I can.

I drive a 2002 Chrysler Town and Country minivan. We purchased it during my marriage a little over two years ago and I brought it with me when I moved back to Oklahoma. It had 30,000 miles at the time of purchase and now has 72,000 miles. At the time of purchase we were offered the option of purchasing an extended warranty from a third party warranty company. The cost? $2100.00. The advantage? It would cover everything for the next 5 years/75,000 miles. All engine components. Mechanical breakdowns. Rental car reimbursement. Towing. There would be a one-time $250.00 deductible and then every repair after that would cost $25.00.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago. My van breaks down. Its the transmission. I have it towed to a local dealership where it sits over the holiday weekend. I secure a rental vehicle. The following Wednesday the dealership calls with the verdict. The transmission is shot, several of the gears are broken. It needs to be replaced. No problem I thought. Thats why I paid for a warranty! I'd never used it before, never had anything done to the van except for routine maintenance.

The warranty company insists on sending out an inspector to check out the van. That takes a couple of days. Tick, tick, I'm still renting another vehicle. The dealership calls me back and gives me the news. Yes, they will replace the transmission, but not with a new one. They insist on using a salvage transmission. I call the warranty company and fuss at them. They say its their right under the contract. I don't have the contract to look at...its with my van at the dealership. Tick, tick, I'm still renting another vehicle at $30.00 a day. It will cost me over $600.00 to put in a new transmission that the warranty company won't cover. I don't have $600.00, and I think I'll be selling the van in the near future. So I tell the dealership to go ahead and install the used transmission.

The warranty company insists on procuring this used transmission themselves. They finally locate one in a far-away state. They then have to ship it to my dealership. This takes a week. Tick, tick, I'm still renting another vehicle. The transmission arrives on Monday. By yesterday afternoon its installed and I'm good to go. I just need to return my rental vehicle and go pick up my van.

Not so fast. The warranty company claims that the dealership charged too much for breakdown and diagnosis of the problem. The dealership says that they used the industry standard book for labor costs in diagnosing a transmission problem. The warranty company says that they don't recognize the book and that they calculate expected costs according to their own standards. The dealer says that he has never had a warranty company not honor labor figures from "the book". The warranty company representative says that it is not their problem if the dealer overcharges me for labor. The bottom line? I'm on the hook for another $150.00.

The contract only covers five days of rental car reimbursement. I had a rental car for seventeen days. At least seven days of that time was my van sitting in the parking lot awaiting a used transmission shipped from far away. A transmission could have been procured locally in one day. My rental vehicle cost? Over $500.00.

As the dust clears, I'm over $900.00 out of pocket for this breakdown and I have a used transmission installed in my van. I purchased this warranty to avoid having huge out-of-pocket costs like this. To have peace of mind. I'm feeling majorly hosed here and feel like the waranty was misrepresented to me at the time of sale. There are pages of fine print in the contract, and I'm scouring them in the next couple of days. I feel ripped off, violated, and somewhat powerless.

I'm usually a get-along and go-along kinda guy. I don't complain to restaurant managers to get free meals if the food or service is subpar. I don't threaten lawsuits when my kids slip and fall on a wet floor in a store. I just roll with punches about minor injustices. In this case, I'm very upset and not exactly sure where to go with it. For the moment, I'm going to put my educator's eye to this legal document and see if my feelings are justified. I don't want money that isn't mine. I'm going to ponder any options I might have.

My belief right now? I think the letter AND the spirit of the warranty have been violated. The whole experience has left a very sour taste in my mouth. I've spent money I cannot afford and I'm in a bind I didn't expect to be in.

Cover your ears while I let out a primal scream.
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I asked for questions to answer and several of you responded. I asked to be challenged, and some of these questions certainly do that. Thanks to all those who submitted questions!

What do you love or enjoy most about your children? Least?

Patrick? I love his sense of humor and his creativity. He has a way of saying the funniest things at the funniest times. My mom was once talking about Adam and Eve at the dinner table. Patrick listened quietly and piped up, "You just left one thing out. The atom is the building block of life!" Patrick can make the most incredible things out of the most common objects. Toilet paper rolls, old bicycle wheels, a ball of yarn, and shoe boxes are the palettes of his own artist's touch. Its amazing. He is also an extremely loving and affectionate child.

What I like least about him is his seeming oblivion to the environment around him. While he is creating his masterpieces he is also making the most terrible messes. The floor to his room is often littered with tiny pieces of cardboard, beads, little pieces of plastic, and cut-up 2-liter pop bottles. He focuses on what he is doing and just doesn't seem interested in the outcome of his actions.

Aubree? Oh my, there are so many things to love. She too is creative, but in a different way. She enjoys drawing and writing. She is so curious about so many things around her. She is witty and bright. She is able to articulate her feelings better than many adults I know. She melts my heart with her smile and her loving nature.

Like least? Well, she is a girl with a temper which can go off just like that. Doesn't get her way? Those biting words come flying out very quickly. She rarely gets in trouble with me for things she does. She gets in trouble for her smart mouth!

Is Lee the mother of your children or were you married before?

I've been married twice. The first time for fourteen years and to Lee for almost eight years. Both of my kids were adopted by me with my first wife.

What made you decide to persue a teaching career?

Other than girls, my two loves as a high school senior were history and basketball. I decided that I would become a teacher and coach. I wavered quite a bit on this decision. I even changed my major to Computer Information Systems during my sophomore year of college. I thought I might be happier in a career that offered more money. But I changed my major back and pursued a teaching certificate.

Does it bug you when you see it reported in the media, that someone committing some heinous act is "...the adopted son of so and so....?" How do you feel about the various movies or books or whatever that portray accounts of adoptions as either heroic or tragic?

Of course it bugs me. My kids are my kids every bit as much as someone else's biological children. Its neither brave, tragic, or heroic. I chose to bring these children into my life. They've been with me since they were tiny infants. I would be horrified and offended to hear anyone refer to them as my "adopted children." They are simply....my children. Just like yours.

What are you going to use as the guide to know when it is time to introduce the female in your life to your children or will you just know it?

I've written about this before and it is one of the questions that vexes me the most. Its a conundrum in some ways. I've thought that I don't want to introduce the kids to someone unless I have a reasonable belief that things will work out between the two of us. But I can't really know if its going to work out until she meets the kids.
At other times I think I can just introduce her as a "friend" an not be so uptight about it. If I don't make a big deal out of it, the kids won't either.
I go back and forth between these two opinions quite a bit.

How is it that you have custody of your children?

When my first wife and I decided to separate and then divorce, this was never really in question. As a matter of fact, she said on the night we decided to split, "of course you'll keep the children." There have never been any custody fights or disputes with her. It was just always something that was assumed. I wanted the kids and she wanted me to have them.

Are you feeling recovered from your marriage and divorce with Lee?

Recovered? I have to really ponder that word. I'm not as disabled by my emotions as I was after we split. I don't know that I'll ever reach a point where I can definitively say, "I'm completely and totally recovered." It still hurts sometimes. Things, places, songs, remind me when I don't want to be reminded. But I'm not angry anymore and it doesn't hurt nearly as bad. Like a big ship changing course, I'm slowly but surely working on re-making my life.

Is it better to just show up and surprise someone from your past or is it better to call ahead and set up a time (say, lunch)? Warn or surpise?

For me? Generally speaking, I'd love to be surprised. There's a rush that you get from an unexpected surprise visit that I really enjoy! I also like pulling surprises like this. I hope to visit Washington next spring and I'm really considering just dropping by my old school unexpectedly. Just walk in the door and see the reactions on everyone's face!

Where do you find things to blog on every day?

Everywhere you can think of. My job is fertile ground for blog material. My kids are equally good sources. My separation/divorce/relationship issues have certainly made for many a post. Childhood memories. Significant life events. Things in the world around me such as recent posts on Hurrican Katrina. Music. Food. So many posts. So little time!

That was fun. I may do one more round of these if anyone wants to send in more questions.
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Its time for a history post again!

Ever had one of those moments where you made a decision that affected the rest of your life? Moments that defined you? Moments that changed things forever?

What if that moment not only changed your life but the life of a nation? Perhaps changed the history of the world? Joshua Chamberlain had such a moment. He fought in over 20 Civil War battles, but it is his actions at Gettysburg that have brought him fame.

It was unlikely that Chamberlain would face such a moment. He grew up in the small town of Brewer, Maine. He was known as a serious, soft-spoken, thoughtful young man who had interests in horseback riding, swimming, and sailing. He chose the ministry for a career with a focus as serving as a missionary in a foreign land, enrolled in Bowdoin College, and prepared for his future. He worked to overcome his stuttering problem, learned how to play the violin and bass fiddle, and mastered nine different languages. He attended seminary after his graduation, earning a master's degree, married a minister's daughter named Frances, and decided to pursue life as a scholar. He returned to Bowdoin as a professor of rhetoric and oratory.

The Civil War broke out in 1861 and Chamberlain decided to enlist in the Army instead of teaching overseas. Because of his education he was commissioned as a lieutenant colonel in Maine's 20th Regiment. Several of his soldiers were former students. Chamberlain's education had exposed him to history, the study of military campaigns, and military theory, but he had no experience at all as a soldier. However, he was well-liked and respected by the soldiers in his regiment and by his superiors for his thoughtfulness and common sense.

The biggest battle of the Civil War would take place in the hills of Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. Confederate General Robert E. Lee had decided to launch an offensive and invade the northern states. After two years of playing defense, he wanted to strike deep into the heart of Union territory. If successful, the Confederacy would be in a strong position to negotiate a permanent division of the country into two separate nations.

The two great armies met in the sleepy college town of Gettysburg. Meade's Union army, 95,000 strong, seized the high ground to the south of the city. Lee's army, numbering 75,000 having marched hundreds of miles, found themselves facing a larger opponent, in better position, and becoming better reinforced by the day. Several of Lee's commanders urged him to not to fight here, to engage the enemy in better circumstances. In a momentous decision, Lee felt like this would have to be where his army made their stand.

The battle began in earnest on July 1, 1863. Fierce artillery barrages rang up and down the hills. Lee sent 15,000 of his finest soldiers in a direct assault on the center of the Union army. "Pickett's charge" would fail and many thousands would lay dead on the battlefield. Hundreds of men would suffer permanent hearing loss from the incredible number of shots fired. Survivors talked of stepping over bodies and walking in blood inches deep.

On Cemetery Ride, on the far left side of the Union's army, Chamberlain's regiment was stationed. His orders? Hold "Little Round Top" at all costs. He and his men became the focal point of a withering Confederate attack. The logic was simple. Defeat Chamberlain and you now flanked the entire Union army. The Confederates could sweep in behind their attackers and have them in a vise. This would force the Union army into a desperate retreat or perhaps even a surrender. There would be no army between Lee and Washington, D.C. A decisive southern victory could lead to the end of the war and the permanent partition of the United States.

After hours of fighting, Chamberlain and his men were wearing down. A big chunk of his regiment was dead or injured. They were almost out of ammunition. The Confederates were charging, re-grouping, and charging again. How much more could they take? Chamberlain himself had already been wounded twice. He wasn't sure they could stand another sustained assault.

So Chamberlain made a decision that would change history. Rather than sit and try to defend his fortified position, he ordered his men to rise and fix their bayonets. They swept down the hill like a "swinging gate", taking the Confederates completely by surprise. They drove their attackers off the hill, saving the flank, and saving the Union itself. Although the battle could best be described as a draw, it was devastating to the Confederacy. Lee had to retreat back into the South and would never be able to launch an offensive again. He could not afford the massive casualties suffered at Gettysburg.

Chamberlain was promoted to general and continued to fight until the end of the war. He received life-threatening injuries and toward the end could barely mount a horse. At Appomattox Court House he was chosen to receive the formal surrender of Lee's army to General Grant.

When the war was over he returned to his native Maine and entered politics. He served four terms as his state's governor, wrote books about his wartime experiences, and lectured at local colleges. He entered the business world and was involved in a series of successful business adventure. He would die in 1914 from complications from an old war wound.

When the war was over, Chamberlain received this letter from a former Confederate soldier:

“Dear Sir: I want to tell you of a little passage in the battle of Round Top, Gettysburg concerning you and me, which I am now glad of. Twice in that fight I had your life in my hands. I got a safe place between two rocks, and drew bead fair and square on you. You were standing in the open behind the center of your line, full exposed. I knew your rank by your uniform and your actions, and I thought it a mighty good thing to put you out of the way. I rested my gun on the rock and took steady aim. I started to pull the trigger, but some queer notion stopped me. Then I got ashamed of my weakness and went through the same motions again. I had you, perfectly certain. But that same queer something shut right down on me. I couldn’t pull the trigger, and gave it up - that is, your life. I am glad of it now, and hope you are.”

Chamberlain wasn't the only one who made a history changing decision on that bloody day.

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I suppose I'm at the age where thoughts of my own demise creep into my consciousness sometimes. I don't think its maudlin to realize how frail an existence we live here on this planet. I'm in good health and have no reason to believe that I won't be still flailing away in my little corner of the world thirty years from now.

I, of course, don't want to die for many reasons. I'm scared of death like most people are. I don't think that is cowardice. Its a desire of all living things to try and extend their lives for as long as possible. As a single father I don't want to leave my kids without the only constant they've ever had in their lives. I also feel like I have so much more to accomplish in my career, so much more to do.

I think I began thinking about this from the sight off all the deaths from Hurricane Katrina. A few weeks ago, all of those people were just living their lives as they'd always done. They were going to work, talking to neighbors, chatting with friends on the phone, playing cards in their nursing home, going to school, or playing with their kids in the backyard. Nature's devastating force swept in and ended the lives of thousands. A month ago none of those people thought they would be dead today.

It could happen to any of us at any time on any day. That is a scary thought, but it also gives a sense of peace. Unless I jump off of a bridge, its something I have no control over. My time could come tomorrow, next month, next year, or in forty years. So I think it about it sometimes but I don't worry about it.

I do believe something I haven't talked about very much. I believe all of us are here for a purpose. For thousands of years the question has been asked, "why are we here? What is our purpose?" We don't always understand what that purpose is, but we spend our lives trying to find it, hone it, and live it out. I have a sense that I've at least partially found my purpose but that I haven't fulfilled it. I don't think I've realized my potential. I've floundered, lost my way, and let my weaknesses define me way too often.

I think there are other purposes out there for me. I can see some of them peeking over the horizon, beckoning me forward. Others wait to be discovered. Thats the good thing about life. Its not like a task where you can say, "Ok, thats it. I'm done. I've accomplished it all." You can feel good about your life, but you can always know that there are other challenges to meet or other desires to be fulfilled.

In the end I want to have mattered, to have made a difference, to have found my purpose(s). Toward the end of the movie, "Glory", Denzel Washington's character is gathered with the other soldiers on the night before battle. They all knew that many of them would not make it through the next day. He said, "it doesn't matter what happens tomorrow. We're men now."There is a freedom in that feeling.

Maybe it is that I want to believe that everything that has happened in the last sixteen months has some other purpose than the pain involved. That it has taught me something, tempered me, prepared me for some other purpose. Maybe to achieve happiness I need to know what despair feels like. Maybe I've learned how to handle adversity in a way that prepares me for a future challenge. Just maybe.

To use a sports metaphor, I'm at halftime of my life. In sports, halftime is an opportunity to do several things. You look back at the first half, see what has worked for you, and where you've been deficient. But thats not all you do. You create a vision for the second half. Whether you're ahead or behind, you find that vision. You can't anticipate everything that is going to happen out there, but you make adjustments as you can. Then you go back out there and try to win. The last year feels like halftime for me.

At least I'm not hiding in the locker room anymore.
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The first breezes of autumn blew across my corner of the world today. It was a beautiful day today, an Indian summer kind of day. Naturally, I had to be working all day!

Its been a busy week for me, and from the looks of things its been quite a week in the blogworld as well. Anyone want to take a leisurely fall stroll through blogland with me?

The Real Me wants to know if cyber relationships can be considered “cheating.” Teresa wants to know who is on your “list” …people you would sleep with, married or not.

Faith celebrates the changes in last 365 days. John is celebrating recovery from the hurricane but is appalled at some of the “big business” aspects of relief. Read both of these posts.

Chrissy shares some pictures from Hurricane Ophelia. “E” shares some things you didn’t know about her and one of them is a lie.

Grace is feeling very good and not listening to her “addictive voice.” Lil Bit is feeling like she has the blahs.

Mary Lou is thinking about earthquakes. Thomai is thinking about the spirit of the people of New Orleans and starting over.

Simply Satisfied reviews an episode of “Survivor”. Stephanie reviews a song list that fits someone she is angry with.

Joan designated someone to notify her blog in the event of her demise. Karen designated her blog as a laughter zone with Friday’s post.

Sally salutes her granddaughter’s courage. Phoenix salutes the legendary Mae West.

Jack ran off a couple of teenagers who were making out in his neighborhood.

Vickie has some wishes for a special person. Monica has a collection of random thoughts.

DL has a new job! Want a meal? So does Dave. Need flowers?

Lewis talks about his guru and taking a vision quest. Sue talks about the poor air quality in her area caused by a bog fire.

Jewels describes the death of a blog. Steel Cowboy describes what he gets from reading his favorite blogs.

Kyra was all dressed up to go and her husband fell asleep, but she didn’t really mind. Had she gone to see the Foo Fighters she could’ve discussed it with Chosha.

Irina discusses how she chooses what to read and the temptation of reading what everyone else is reading. Colleen discusses her life in terms of “sevens.”

Sleeping Mommy’s son is having problems with another kid at school. Margaret’s daughter is packing up and heading to college.

Stacey went to Grapefest and it sounds like she had a blast. Buffi went to Washington, D.C. and it sounds like she had a great time too! I’m jealous.

Breazy describes her body. Veronica describes what it means to be a local.

Chaotic Serenity explains the concept of “orchid letters” and “onion letters.” Greek Shadow explains a few definitions.

Ginger receives an invitation to attend “Trump University”. How long does it learn to say, “You’re fired”? Scorpy needs to receive a visit from Ed McMahon. She’s broke. I know the feeling!

Mercy shares an intriguing picture but doesn’t tell the story behind it. Hillbilly Mom shares a lunchroom story.

Stationery Queen likes to observe from a distance. Janine likes to observe scenery from an airplane.

Fly Girl thinks she’s developing a phone phobia. Pauly could be developing a phobia about thank you notes.

Red Head Gal relapsed over her vacation. I’m glad to see her back. Erin had some ups and downs.

Dawn is going to collect herself some “Boyd Bears.” Curtis is giving Ellen an early birthday present!

Restless Angel shares 43 things she wants to do before she dies. Babs shares her revelation about geeks.

Caren is happy to get her big stash of yarn. Jennifer is always happy when she can do scrapbooking.

Lisa answers some questions and does it well! Kathy puts photos and meaning into “Invictus”.

Anne misses Jimmy Carter and some other things from the 70’s. Rachel misses the “me” that she sees in a portrait.

Cindra says Ophelia is a wishy washy hurricane. T. Marie says that most women secretly like being openly admired by men.

Michelle describes a bad experience from hypnosis. Saffiyah describes a girl named Sarah and the prejudices that changed her life.

Christine’s husband said some terrible things to her son. Splendid has been married to her husband for twenty years. Happy Anniversary!

Sarah describes a hellish experience of trying to see a neurologist. It looks like Nicole is frustrated with the process of buying a new home.

I don’t know if Feisty Girl is having sideways sex (sorry about last week!), but she is cleaning linoleum. If you are having sex, AKA Monty wants you to think about some unaddressed issues.

Amanda has a lot going on in her life. It sounds like Andie has too. Come back and post sometime you two!

Annabel Lee was disappointed with the salary offer from a prospective employer.

Kim’s kids didn’t like hearing songs from “The Partridge Family.” Cyn’s kid probably didn’t like mom complaining about the messiness of the room.

Bsoholic went to the fair. Lisa went to the unemployment line, but not for long!

ChickyBabe shares a conversation with a non-blogger. Darla shares a non-blogger’s answers to her questions.

Muse shares a picture of her backside. Melanie shares pictures of her tattoos.

Joe is howling at the moon. Inky is talking with a local guy who found her blog.

Walker doesn’t see the logic in how some people act. Trucker Bob doesn’t see how you couldn’t appreciate the beauty of the Alaskan Highway.

Lu shares a most excellent driving mix. Seshat shares one of the things she hates.

Stop by, leave some comments, and enjoy some of these superb posts. I enjoyed reading all of them!

I’m still asking for questions for an upcoming question/answer post. Email me a question or two!

Have a marvelous weekend my friends.
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Three events dominated by mind today. Two of them are very sad and one is a cause for celebration. I hope you don't mind if I vent my thoughts on each of them.

A pretty twelve year old girl was brought to me this morning. Her teacher said, "you have to tell him. You just have to." Wordlessly the girl rolled up her sweater sleeves to reveal large red marks across her swollen wrists. Standing the empty hallway I softly asked her, "how did that happen sweetie?" She said, "my momma did it to me." How? "she used an extension cord." Why? "Because I got in trouble at school yesterday. What did you do to get in trouble? "I was chewing gum in class and the teacher wrote it in my notebook." She did this because you were in trouble for chewing gum? "Yes." Her mother also instructed her to wear the long sweater and if anyone asked about the marks to say, "none of your business." I bit back the profanity that sprung to my lips, took her to my office, and asked her some more about it. She grabbed my arm and BEGGED me not to tell anyone else. I told her I had to and it was for her safety. She sobbed and said, "they won't do anything and I'll just be in more trouble." I hated to admit that she might be right. Five kids in the home. She's the oldest. This isn't the first time. Yes, its done to the younger ones too. Single mom.

I don't have to bite anything back here. What the fuck? Yes, I want parents to be supportive of school disciplinary efforts. Take her TV away for the evening. Ground her for the weekend. But how dare you take this beautiful child and scar her with a damn extension cord? The police were called, they did an interview, took their report, and referred it to Human Services. If history is a guide it will probably happen again. I know parents get frustrated with kids and do things they shouldn't do, but this is way beyond the pale. I'm still seething just sitting here thinking about it.

Then there was the young man who hit a teacher today. He had been in my office awhile earlier for a minor offense. It was the second time I'd dealt with him this year. We talked through the problem and I chatted with his dad on the phone. He agreed to go back and do what he was supposed to do. We shook hands and he smiled. I walked him back to class. Twenty minutes later he was back in my office. He'd struck a teacher, angry because she was blocking the door, he was upset about something else, and didn't want to listen to what she had to say. I investigated and took statements from everyone involved. The teacher filed a report with the police, I suspended him for a very long time, investigated alternative school placement, and called his mother. She came, picked him up, and left. I found out awhile later that the two of them had an altercation in our parking lot. The police were called. He was arrested for assault on his mother. Now he's facing two assault charges in the same day. That sound you hear is a big sigh. Twelve years old. Such a damn waste. I even feel a little guilty. I'd thought about sending him home for the day on his first trip to see me. I gave him another chance and we see how that worked out. But then I know somewhere in my heart that it was a matter of time before something like this would've happened.

Then there is my good news. When I arrived to pick up the kids at my parent's house, my youngest brother and his wife were there. Their news? She found out she was pregnant yesterday with their first child. My brother Matt is 36 years old and will be a father for the first time. He and Stephanie will be superb parents. They both have a lot of passion for life, huge hearts, and a love of kids. Stephanie told me that she hoped it was a boy. She said, "You see how Matt spoils your daughter and his other nieces? He'd never say no to a girl." Hehe. Matt has grown so much over the years and I'm so proud of him. They are both ready for this and I'm just beyond thrilled for them.

My emotions have run the gamut today. There is nothing that reaches down and grabs my soul like talking about children. Some of them have to overcome so much just to survive each day. Others win the parent lottery like my soon-to-be niece or nephew.

Its a helluva world, isn't it?
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I'm not sure Wednesday has ever gotten here any quicker. These days have just FLOWN by. My work days just vanish. It seems like I walk in, a big blur happens, and I walk back out.

I've been driving a rental vehicle for almost two weeks while my van is in the shop. It is supposed to be ready tomorrow. I'll be happy to get it back, but I am thoroughly enjoying driving the brand new wheels around. I was driving yesterday morning, feeling totally luxurious, wearing a suit and tie, and listening to N.P.R. All I needed was a Starbucks latte to be a complete yuppie.

My comments have been driving me crazy. I've used HaloScan for almost two years now and its always been an excellent comment service. Lately, my comment link seems to appear and disappear at random. Its here and then it isn't. Many people have emailed me asking what is up with the comments. I've reinstalled the code, posted in the support forum, and read through all the help files. If anyone out there has expertise in this area and wants to look at my code and figure this out, I'd be eternally grateful. Other Blogspot users seem to be using HaloScan without this difficulty.

Aubree brought him her weekly progress report and was horrified. She had a "B" in math. She hates that and said, "it won't be that way for long." She can't stand it.

I talked to my ex-wife last night and found that our former babysitter safely fled Louisiana and is now in Washington, staying with Lee. I was very relieved to hear it. I had been thinking about Lisa(our babysitter) a lot in the last week. I'm glad that she's safe and I enjoyed the chance to chat with her for a few minutes.

I'm getting Patrick a regular sized bed for his room soon. I just can't stand the king sized bed in there anymore. It takes up over 3/4 of the room when its put together. He likes to pull the mattress off the bed and make a "fort". Then I can't even get in the door! Picture this: My dad gave Patrick a bunch of rubber tubing from his oxygen tank. Patrick strings it up and ties it all over the place, hanging blankets from it. Then he pulls the mattress off his bed and you can't even see the floor anywhere in the room.

A bunch of students in the cafeteria today accused a young man of cutting in line. He swore that he had not cut in line. I called him over to me, smiled, and looked him right in the eye. I said, "if you can look me straight in the eye and tell me honestly that you didn't cut, I'll believe you and let you keep your place in line. I know you wouldn't lie to me." Twice he looked me in the eye and started the sentence but couldn't complete it. He laughed, gave me a high five, and walked to the back of the line without another word.

We are under a time crunch to test all of our E.L.L. (English Limited Learners) students and I have pitched in to help the teachers out. I've spent several days calling kids to my office and giving them the oral English test. The better they speak English, the longer the test takes. If they are totally fluent it takes about 30 minutes. Can't speak a word? They are out the door in less than five minutes. Its actually been kinda fun getting to know those kids and to even practice a bit of the college Spanish that I remember.

Patrick went out the door to catch his bus a couple of mornings ago and I realized almost as soon as he shut the door that I had forgotten to give him his lunch money. I snatched money from my wallet ran to the door just to see him climbing on the bus and the door closing. I started to run out the door but then suddenly realized that I was in my underwear! I opened the door partially and tried to yell loud enough to get the driver's attention, but to no avail. I did arrange for him to get his lunch money and didn't have to run across the yard in my underwear to do it!

Aubree has a thing about the female cashiers in Wal Mart. Sometimes she accuses me of flirting with them. Ahem. We stopped yesterday to pick up a few things and after we went through the checkout line she said, "that woman was kinda cute but she's too old for you." I said, "Aubree, she's probably ten years younger than I am!" Her reply? "Dad, you know what I mean." Actually, I'm not sure I do!

Aubree talks on the phone a LOT these days. Every time I turn around she is chatting away to one of her friends. Sometimes she even lets me use the phone.

A commenter several posts ago asked if I'd be willing to answer your questions. After all, I posted questions for everyone else to answer. Its been quite some time since I've done a "questions" post. Maybe its time to do it again. If you have a question you'd like me to answer, email it to me and let me know whether you want it to be anonymous question or want to be credited for it. I'll post the answers in an upcoming post. Subject matter? Completely and totally open. I'll answer every question. If for some reason I don't feel comfortable answering it in a post, I'll respond privately and explain why. Fair enough? Lets have some questions. Challenge me a bit!

I removed the NeoStats country counter from my sidebar, thinking it might somehow have been the cause of my comments problem since it was the only think on my blog I've changed in weeks. If that turns out not to be true, I'll put it back up a day or two. I was actually enjoying seeing the stats. Visitors from 45 different countries in just a couple of weeks? I've gotta write a post about that some day.

So how is YOUR week going?
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I look at the boys sitting in front of me and say, "I don't get it. You two guys got into a fight after school. You've sit here talking to me for fifteen minutes and I STILL haven't heard a good reason why you fought each other. Neither of you insulted the other one's mother, race, religion, or said their sister was ugly. You both called each other "faggots" but you do that all the time. I just don't get it." They sat there looking sheepishly at me and I just stare at them. You learn a lot in this world when you know when not to say anything. Just let the question lay out there for awhile and see if they will fill the silence.

The clean cut one piped up and said, "well, he's a punk and I'm a prep. We just don't like each other very much." The other one nodded his head affirmatively. They both just looked at me as if that explained it all. I summoned up my most exasperated look and said, "you've got to be kidding me. You want to fight someone because he's different from you? You both need to work out more because you've got a lifetime full of fights ahead of you. Are you really so young that you haven't yet realized that it takes all kinds of people to make this world go round?" They both shrugged and tried to explain to me how things were.

I may have acted like I was surprised, but I wasn't of course. For 38 of my 44 years in this life I have been in schools. These divisions have always been there. Kids define themselves as part of a group or several groups. When I ask one kid about another, this is one of the first bits of information I receive. They call them something different now, but these are largely the same groups that existed when I was in school.

School is a social situation and everyone wants to find a way to fit in. The way you fit in is to find a group of people that accept you. If you don't fit in with any of the groups, you adapt so that you can or start a group of your own. This becomes your identity, your home base, and your tribe. You hang out together, you commiserate with each other, and back each other up.

In case you were wondering, I thought I'd let everyone know that many of the same groups you remember in school are carrying on the tradition. Lets review, shall we?

• The "preps" (aka preppies, snobs) - We used to call this group the "socs". They wear nice clothes and have "clean" hairdos. The boy wear jeans that actually fit. They are usually above-average in physical appearance. You can find them on the cheerleading squad, in the student council, and other clubs. There is also what I call the "Ferris Bueller" types who have the looks and charm but not the grades and good behavior. They are the ones throwing the parties on weekends that get the others in trouble.
• The "punks" (aka "rockers") - The descendants of "deadheads" or "metal heads". You can find them wearing black t-shirts, most often with a rock band logo. The girls tend to dye their hair and the boys tend to wear their hair longer. They still adore rock legends like Led Zeppelin, AC-DC, and KISS, along with modern bands.
• The "jocks" - Mostly male, they roam the halls in groups daring anyone to mess with them. The pecking order is determined by where they rank athletically. The starting quarterback or running back is often at the top of the heap.
  
• The "geeks"- These are the kids who love school. They take every class assignment seriously. You can find them in the library going above and beyond what is required by the assignment. This group can contain boys or girls. Teachers love them because they soak up every word and every bit of knowledge. They are often picked on by some of the other kids and tend to be physically frailer.
• The "druggies"- Yeah, they are still around. At middle school age, most of them are weed smokers. They hang out with other kids who want to get high.
• The "rappers"- You find them at lunch and after school, gathered in circle and showing off their latest "rap".
  
• Ethnic groups - my school has a large population of Hispanic students and these kids tend to group together, tied by language and culture. The other students simply refer to them as "The Mexicans", even though this is not entirely true.
• Religion- kids with strong religious beliefs often group together on the basis of their faith.

There are many other smaller, less defined groups. Some kids don't really ever find a group they fit into. They get through by finding a friend or two or by going it alone. Remember how it was? It is still largely that way now.

I struggled to define my own group identity when I was in school. I made good grades but wasn't brilliant enough to be a "geek". I wasn't stylish, suave, or physically attractive enough to be a "prep". I was an athlete, but didn't really blossom in that area until high school. Toss in the fact that I was basically very shy, and I often felt like I was on the fringe of several groups, but not totally accepted by any of them.

I wish I could've told my two young charges that the group mentality is something we outgrow. But we really don't, do we? As adults we have a better defined individual identity, but we still group ourselves, and the "us vs them" mentality is hard to overcome. We do it all the time. Our politics today, as never before, is characterized by personal attacks on the "other side". Adults divide themselves along racial lines just like kids do. People buy houses in gated communities to shield themselves from people who aren't like them. Christians vs non-believers. Blue collar vs white collar. Smokers vs non-smokers. Traditionalists vs modernists.

Its not necessarily a bad thing to seek out others who are like you or believe as you do. Indeed, its a very natural thing to do. Its comfortable and its safe. It reaffirms your own virtue. After all, you only have to look around your table at the restaurant, your church group, your travel companions, or the people at your background barbecue to know that you belong somewhere.

The danger? Its the insularity that comes when you surround yourself only with people just like you. Its like living in a cocoon. You aren't challenged. Maybe you like it that way. The two young men in front of me weren't even really looking at each other like human beings. They were just part of the "other group" or the "other side". What they are missing out on is understanding the uniqueness that all of us have to offer the world. They miss out learning that when all is said and done we have so much that should bring us together, but instead we focus so much on our differences that we can't see it.

I watched them today as they began serving their long sentence of detention together. They were sitting together on the "detention bench" after school and they were talking to each other. I wonder if that detention will teach them more than just not to fight at school. For the next couple of weeks they will share the same burden together. Its not unlike the same burdens we all share as adults.

Maybe we could all use a little detention
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He was a pioneering researcher at a time when sex was something that was never discussed in polite company. It was a taboo subject in newspapers, television, and radio. Sex was something married people did, primarily for procreational purposes, and never talked about. Although sexuality was a driving force of human behavior, most scholars and researchers simply ignored it. His research was controversial, and still is even to this day. His impact on history is widespread and obvious.

His name was Alfred Kinsey and the publication of "Sexual Behavior In the Human Male" sent shockwaves through a nation in 1948. Although there were many flaws in his sample and in his research methodologies, he brought the subject of sex to the attention of a repressed nation. He followed up in 1953 with "Sexual Behavior in the Human Female", once again sending shockwaves across the national consciousness.

Ever watch reruns of "The Honeymooners" or "I Love Lucy"? We never saw Ralph and Alice's bedroom. Sure, you'd hear, "baby you're the greatest", and see a kiss as the credits scrolled. Ricky and Lucy were shown sleeping in separate beds and in industrial strength pajamas. How little Ricky came to be we'll never know. Sex wasn't something that was part of the national discussion. Kinsey changed all that. His research brought into discussion things that had only been whispered about behind closed doors.

To deny the impact of sexuality on history is to deny the obvious. Wars have been fought over sexual attraction. Kings have given up their thrones. A president has been brought to the precipice of impeachment. Millions of marriages have ended over sexual issues. Sex drives human behavior as few other things do.

His exhaustive (over 300 questions) interviews with research subjects over a period of years led him to publish his findings. He engaged in sexual experimentation of his own during this period. His research methods were crude and inaccurate by today's standards, but were shocking for the times (See below a comparison of some of Kinsey's research to a more modern study). To put this in perspective, at the time of Kinsey's report, "sodomy" was a felony in most states and punishable by imprisonment and "Playboy" and "Penthouse" magazines did not yet exist.

Among Kinsey's more shocking findings:

• Homosexuality was more widespread than ever believed. (His sample included a large sample of gay males and they were over-represented in the data...see below).
  
• People weren't simply "straight" or "gay". Human attraction ran the gamut on a scale. Kinsey believed that even a "straight" person could still have sexual attraction to a member of the same gender.
• Masturbation was widespread and common among both genders.
  
• Women enjoyed sex. Most writing and literature on the subject before this time indicated that women participated in sex for procreation or to please their man. His conclusion led many to attack him for "offending the purity and sanctity of the American female".
  
• It wasn't just the "bad kids" that were having premarital sex, and such sex was more common that was admitted before.
• Extramarital affairs were too numerous to attribute to a handful of "degenerates" as was commonly believed.
  
• Monogamy was socially desirable but not possible for many.
  
• Sexual satisfaction was a key part of marital satisfaction. Kinsey believed that a couple where both partners reported high levels of sexual satisfaction were much more likely to stay together. Uh huh.
• Both men and women thought about, fantasized about, and dreamed about sex more often than was believed at the time.
  

A comparison of Kinsey's work with a 1994 study:

	Males	Females
	Kinsey (1948) Laumann et al.(1994)	Kinsey (1953) Laumann et al. (1994)
Have masturbated	90% -----63%	62%----- 42%
Have had premarital intercourse	85%---- 74-81%	50% ----45-73%
Have had extramarital intercourse	30-45%--- 26%	26% -----15%
Have had oral sex	59%---- 77-79%
Have had at least one homosexual contact resulting in an orgasm	37%----- 5%	13% ----4%
Have patronized prostitutes	70%---- 15%

I actually tend to believe Kinsey's numbers on masturbation. I have a hard time believing that almost 6/10 of all females have never masturbated. His numbers on pre-marital and extra-marital sex look pretty close to modern data. The big chasm is his conclusions on homosexual experiences and this was explained by the over-inclusion of gay males in his sample. Note the increase in oral sex, which has become more popular in the last 50 years.

Kinsey's report was the forerunner of the sexual revolution in the 1960's. Advocates of "free love" pointed toward his conclusions as evidence that many had the desire but were repressed by society. The women's rights movement used his data as evidence that sex was just another area where women were being repressed by a male-dominated society. A whole lot of people got lucky as a result of a dry research paper full of statistics. Has any one person in history ever been responsible for so many orgasms? (tongue planted firmly in cheek) A thought to ponder!

I'm fascinated by the schizophrenic way we treat sex in today's society. It is glamorized in movies, magazines, and on television. Sex sells products like nothing else does. Right here in conservative Oklahoma I drive by "sex shops" daily. We are presented with a galaxy of gorgeous babes and hunky men. Sexual topics are by far the most searched on the internet. Sexual toys and aids have never been more popular. A variety of magazines and websites cater to every possible whim and fetish. A Google search on the word "sex" reveals 213 MILLION websites. I can go to the beach and see a woman in an off-the-shelf swimsuit unashamedly showing her cleavage and her ass. Sex is literally everywhere you turn. I think this has raised our sexual expectations. A quick hump has been the norm for thousands of years. But when we pay attention to the media out there, it seems like everyone else is having rip-roaring, spine-tingling, wall-thumping sex. What are we missing out on? We want what we think everyone else is getting.

On the other hand, we still treat sex as a taboo topic in many ways. Sex education is schools is a joke. We'd be better off handing out stickers that say, "dont ever have sex" and teaching them more math. We react with surprise that a middle aged American president has a sexual dalliance with a comely intern. People are treated for "sexual addiction". Homosexuality is still hugely controversial and the debate continues to rage about whether it is a choice or something you're born with. How many people out there suffer from major guilt over a sexual issue? Many parents are afraid to openly discuss sex with their kids, fearing that the somehow that discussion will lead them to have sex. Today's kids are more sexually aware than any before them, but a large number lack even a rudimentary understanding of sexuality. Janet Jackson's boob flashes on national television and creates a firestorm. Women who have active sex lives are called "sluts", while men are given a free pass with a smile and a chuckle. Boys will be boys, don't ya know. We are hung up on sex and STILL don't know how to think about it and talk about it. Right here in this blog I am very circumspect about my sexuality. I'll write about almost anything else, but my programming runs too deep to discuss my own feelings about sex in such an "open" place. I either keep it to myself, discuss with trusted friends, or write about it in a more secret place.

We still haven't come to grips with what sex really means. Is it a holy act and only appropriate as part of the sacrament of marriage as many believe? Is it just a physical act with no more spiritual importance than receiving a good massage? Is it something sacred or should you be able to fuck anyone you want without moral repercussions? Am I the only one whose moral and religious upbringing comes into direct conflict with inner thoughts and desires?

Kinsey is reported to have said, "the only unnatural sex act is one you cannot perform." Can you understand how controversial such a statement must've been in the June Cleaver 1950's? Kinsey discussed bestiality with the same impartial tone he used to discuss the missionary position. The sexual materials available at the time mostly focused on self-control. Here's how you do it in a handful of basic positions. Have other ideas? Purge those from your thoughts.

Actress Mae West said, "If Kinsey is right, I have only done what comes naturally, what the average American does secretly, drenching himself in guilt fixations and phobias because of his sense of sinning. I have never felt myself a sinner or committed what I would call a sin."

Kinsey was a flawed man, unsure of his own sexuality, and some of his research methods were not in line with today's standards. But the impact of his writing was undeniably huge. It sparked a transformation in American society that is still going on today.

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Has it really been four years? In some ways the events of 9-11-01 seem like they happened yesterday. At times it seems like a lifetime ago. The events, the images, the emotions are seared into my soul. Nothing comparable to this had happened in the lifetime of anyone in the country. A symbol of our prosperity collapsed in the middle of our most important city. The symbol of our nation's military power smoldering and burning. Thousands dead. Anguished survivors and families.

As I taught school that today I was unable to watch the news on television during my classes. The faculty had decided that it might be traumatic for some of our younger students to have the images playing over and over again. I was teaching high school students that morning and they clamored to watch TV with the rest of the country. I wanted to be watching as badly as they did, but I followed the decision of our faculty.

Instead I sat on the top of a desk in the front of my classroom and engaged my teenaged students in a conversation unlike any I have ever had. My laptop perched beside me, I scanned the internet for news updates and information, passing what I knew on to the kids. But mostly we just talked. A lot of emotion poured out in the classroom that morning, including quite a bit from me. I let my guard down a bit and let them hear the emotions I was feeling. I was angry, confused, and sad. So were they. We talked about death and the uncertainty of life. We talked about the kind of mind that could plan and execute something like this. We discussed the human toll that a tragedy like this would have. The classroom discussions on that day and the days that followed were the best I've ever had. Tragedy yields an unparalleled teaching opportunity.

That afternoon I was teaching middle school students. One of them kept staring out the window, and when I asked him why, he replied, "I keep looking for a plane." This generation of kids had not known fear like that. They grew up after the fall of the Berlin Wall and the end of the Cold War. They didn't do nuclear war drills like I did in school. Now they wondered if something like that could happen to them. Their innocence was shattered on that fall morning. So was mine.

As the stories emerged we learned about the incredible heroism of ordinary people. Fast-thinking workers in the towers. Cops and firemen who braved a horrific scene and many of them paid with their lives. Airplane passengers who fought high in the skies for survival. Emergency workers who rushed to the scene. Common people who just jumped in to help.

It is those people I want to remember on this day. The firemen who climbed dozens of flights of stairs in disabling smoke to try and rescue some of his fellow citizens. The man who had just purchased tickets for a surprise anniversary trip with his wife and realized that he wouldn't make it out. The woman who called her parents for the last time and told them that she loved them. The airplane passengers who saved the lives of many others by forcing a crash in the fields of Pennsylvania. The police officer who was still frantically trying to get people out of the smoldering tower when it collapsed on him. The man who had just been married the year before after spending his entire adult life trying to find "the one", only to realize with horror that she had died. The mom on the 101st floor of one of the towers who realized she wouldn't get out and made desperate calls to her children so they could hear her voice one more time. The teenager taking his first ever plane flight. The firemen, construction workers, doctors, and police officers who rushed from all over the country to help their brethren in New York. These people are the true story of September 11th.

One of my earliest memories is my mother crying at the assassination of John F. Kennedy. She was informed by the postman of his death. I remember her tears to this day. I shed tears like that on September 11th. My tears were not for any one person. My tears were for children, fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, and grandparents. People who were just trying to make a living or take a plane flight. People who were just living their lives.

There are inevitable comparisons to the flooding of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast. The tragedies are different in many ways. But the thing they share in common is the reaction of ordinary citizens. We rush to donate money, send supplies, and take in survivors. This time it is New York City sending relief to New Orleans. It is times like this that bind us together as a people. Just for a moment in time we erase the boundaries that normally divide us.

Allow me to dream for a moment. What if it didn't take a terrorist attack or a natural catastrophe to bring us together like this? What if we looked around us and saw the needs that are there all the time? What if we didn't care that a person was black, white, Hispanic, Asian, or Native American? What if we didn't care who they voted for in the last election? What if it didn't matter what religious beliefs they practiced? What if we didn't care if they were gay or straight? What if it didn't matter what language they spoke?

What if we realized that we are all on this speck of a planet in the galaxy for a cosmic blink of an eye? What if we put all the energy we spend complaining about people who are different than we are and put that energy toward helping each other? People suffer at other times than crises. What if we focused on educating our kids, building our communities, and helping those most in need? What if we honored the victims of 9-11 by going after the bastards who planned and financed it AND renewing our commitment to each other?

In less than 100 years every single person who reads this words will be dead. What will these events like 9-11 and New Orleans have meant? Were these just isolated events that horrified us, angered us, and brought out our sense of compassion? Or did they bring a new meaning to our lives, a new realization, a new reality? Did we rise from the smoldering ruins of New York and the receding floodwaters of New Orleans to improve ourselves as a people?

What if we decided that compassion and love were not sitting behind a glass door with a sign saying, "open in case of a disaster"?

To those who lost loved ones on that horrible day four years ago I offer my sympathy and love. If I live to be an old man, I will cradle my grandchildren and tell them of your stories. I'll tell them how terrible people can choose to be to each other. I'll tell them stories of heroism and compassion. I'll tell them stories about how for a brief shining moment we were one people.

I hope I can tell them that we took a criminal tragedy and let it motivate us to be something we weren't before.
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TGIF everyone! Pauly asked last weekend for me to describe “the making of the weekend roundup.” I’m only too pleased to comply! It is a little like sausage. It may taste great, but if you watch it being made it can change your mind!

I begin thinking about the roundup on Monday. I start bookmarking posts in a “favorites” folder set aside for this purpose. I add to it for the next couple of days. I usually begin writing on Wednesday, add a little on Thursday, and finish it up Friday evening.

How do you get in the roundup? I’m sometimes asked this. Virtually everyone who has commented on my blog in the last week will be linked in the roundup. Its my way of saying thanks for taking the time to stop by and comment. If you comment on just one post? You should get linked in the roundup. I’m also looking for new blogs as well. If I find an interesting post on a blog I haven’t seen before? It gets added.

Even if you haven’t commented in the last week I still might link you. I have “legacy commenters” that have hung around here for a long time. They don’t necessarily comment all the time, but I know they still read. They often get linked.

Beyond that? I look for interesting, sad, funny, or witty posts that strike my fancy. I make some judgements. I look for a variety. I don’t want 100 posts about hurricane relief efforts or favorite sexual positions.

I do want to thank YOU for providing me so much material to work with. I still sometimes just sit in awe of the talent out there. This week’s edition? Read on.

Don’t take it personally if you are not in the roundup this week or any other. Sometimes I forget to include people that I plan to link.

Chrissy doesn’t enjoy always having to wait, but she does love her doctor. Leslie doesn’t enjoy leaving some things behind, but she is excited about her move to Texas.

Vickie has a new hero. Karen has a new website and involves “preverts” (scroll to “The Ins and Outs of NAPS”)

Trucker Bob got some mixed medical news. Inky got a new cell phone.

Chaotic Serenity has been traveling again and shares some pictures. Aka Monty has been listening to the radio and having an “awwww” moment.

Bsoholic had a romantic dinner. I don’t know how many romantic dinners Lisa will have with her husband having a new game.

Splendid has some thoughts on how to find a mate. Tish has some thoughts for her anonymous blog trolls.

Teresa reflects on a classmate who was killed on September 11th, 2001. Kathy reflects on what happened on September 6th, including the birth of her son!

Ginger was working on her “to do” list. Redneck Diva was working on conquering her hair.

Phoenix has some fun movie quote trivia. Angel has some questions for you.

Anne discusses how cancer has taken some important people in her life. Thomai discusses how the culture of New Orleans deals with tragedy.

Stephanie shares a very pregnant picture. Chuck shares his thoughts on people who chose not to evacuate during the hurricane.

Andie needs a bigger rack. Margaret needs more time to blog with the school year starting.

Prince Charming reflects on what it means to be alone. Bad Maria reflects on “real writing.”

Restless Angel’s stuffed animals are having a sex-a-thon on her couch. Sue’s news-watching ability is at critical mass.

T. Marie has some thoughts on gas prices. Colleen has some thoughts on making a difference.

Annabel Lee is having a hurricane hoedown. Veronica was painting and having a blast.

Steel Cowboy poetically shares some thoughts of hope. Pearl shares some ideas for getting your creative writing juices flowing.

ChickyBabe had a dream. Monica had a birthday boy.

Kim had sex in a tent. Chosha had a birthday.

John reports on progress in his Louisiana town. If you aren’t reading John already, you should be. Joan reports on going to a “Plum Jam” concert. Hehe.

Mercy’s daughter is in trouble over text messaging. Michelle is going to be in trouble with me if she doesn’t post more often!

Ms Black and White discusses the “emperorship of penguins”. Wanda discusses seven things.

Daydreamer is traveling and files a report. St. Louis anyone? Christine is moving to a new blog.

Breazy’s grandmother is ill. Please keep her in your thoughts. Walker is buying an expensive gift for an engagement party. Please send him cash donations.

DL knows that better days lie ahead. Feisty Girl knows that karma can get you.

Erin thinks that Hummer drivers are assholes. Frani probably thought the same thing about the driver of the white SUV.

Flax is trying to take care of a baby chipmunk. At least she thinks it’s a chipmunk.

Feisty Girl had sex “sideways”. Honey had a chance encounter with a New Orleans’ survivor.

Think you’ve heard it all? Check out this post from Sally. Wonder what its like to go to the wrong gender bathroom? Jack can tell you.

Greek Shadow didn’t like the memo banning shorts. Steph really liked her birthday presents. Another IPOD? Argh!

Joe had a rough night. Boo’s night? She was tired, but feeling funny and frisky.

Trick shares a women’s prayer and a man’s. Babs shares pictures of her young gladiators.

Stephanie remembers a song from the 80’s.

Stacey compares Helen Reddy and Ruth Buzzi. Snowball’s child was comparing her boobs with how they used to look.

Muse is addicted to “Ultimate Fighting”. Lisa could become addicted to getting packages.

Molly has had a busy week. Nicole is going to have a busy year following the first day of school.

Shirazi wants to know what cell you are living in. Simply Satisfied wants to know what your favorite Eagle’s song is.

Tanya’s husband thinks she is having an affair with her locker. Sleeping Mommy may have an affair with Bloglines.

Jennifer can tell you about her chances. Anica can tell you what she thinks about New Orleans.

Taking a road trip? Check out Lu’s advice. Wanna know who the new band member for INXS should be? Ask Lil Red.

Pat discusses the “French connection” and New Orleans. New Wave Gurly discusses our obsession with green tea.

Cindra’s blog is two years old! Kyra’s reunion with her husband is still brand new.

Janine had an action filled day. Nameless had a chipmunk filled morning.

How to unplug a plug? Ask Pauly. How to twist your pelvis? Ask Dawn.

Faith has been feeling off balance and moody. Edge is feeling like he has blogophobia.

Grace has some lovely eyes. Sallie has some thoughts about Labor Day.

Hey there! Have a wonderful weekend my friends. I know I always say that, but I really do mean it. You deserve it. Savor life this weekend. Find something to smile about.
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I'm not above lifting a good idea from another blogger. I enjoyed Bad Maria's 20 Burning Questions, and it inevitably caused me to think of a set of my own. All of these don't apply to me. Really!

1. Ever read a blogger who really puts you off? You don't like their style, language, philosophies, or anything else about them. Do you read that person's blog anyway?

2. What do you do with your unmatched socks? Don't tell me you don't have any.

3. Do women like it when a guy takes charge of a date, or do they like to be involved in the discussion about what to do that evening?

4. Have you ever had a blog crush that went totally unrequited?

5. I'd never do it, but is it weird that I've fantasized about moving back to the New Orleans area? Something about the rebuilding/rebirth of an area is very appealing to me.

6. Is wrong for me to think that its disingenuous of a woman to say, "I just want to find a nice guy."? I've known women who say that all the time and use nice guys like human kleenexes.

7. Ever have the temptation to start your blog over and not tell so many real-world people about it?

8. Is it strange that I've become LESS political as I've grown older?

9. Does anyone else make a right turn and then maneuver around, rather than waiting longer for a left turn?

10. Do you have any posts that have sat in draft forever and you can' t quite bring yourself to post them?

11. Do you find it odd that some people at my job call me "coach", even though I haven't coached anything in years and haven't coached there? "Coach" is one of those enduring titles.

12. Do you find it strange that I sometimes sit in my driveway alone late at night and look at the stars? The world seems to make so much more sense out there during those times.

13. Have a blog you lurk regularly on? Why don't you comment?

14. Does it bother you when you comment repeatedly on someone's blog and they never comment on yours?

15. If work/kids were not a consideration, what kind of waking/sleeping hours would you have?

16. Ever wonder why there are so many unhappy marriages out there?

17. Do ever feel like you really struggle to be understood?

18. Do you ever think you would've been happier living at another time in history?

19. Do you think monogamy is natural for most people?

20. Is profanity a turn off for you?

Answer any or all of these if you will!
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It doesn't really feel like Wednesday. Not at all. Starting the work week a day later throws my whole mental calendar out of whack!

I went to Patrick's school this morning for his annual I.E.P. review. A big chunk of the meeting was the teachers telling me all the funny things he says. One of them said, "Patrick has a way of just making my day."

One of the big things Patrick has to work on everywhere is the way he hugs. When he wants to hug he will sometimes practically squeeze the life out of you. "Nice hugging" is a buzzword around here these days.

I had a 6th grade boy in the nurse's office today. He and a girl of the same age were having words, he raised up his shirt and said, "suck my tits." She punched him in the nose instead and bloodied him up. I separated the two of them and had them write statements about what happened. His statement? "She had her arms stuck out and I ran into her fist". Her statement? "I punched him in the nose." He just couldn't admit that a girl had punched him in the face and knocked him to the ground. I laughed about this all day long.

I was saddened to learn of the death of actor Bob Denver, who we all know better as "Gilligan". Is it really possible that he was 70 years old? Why is it that I imagine Denver running around heaven telling God, "hey skipper. I have an idea!" and God replying, "hold on there little buddy!". R.I.P. Bob.

In a building of over 700 students you wouldn't think that any one kid could cause a stir. Wrong! We had a new student this week, a boy as big as I am and in 8th grade. He may have been new to our building but was not unknown to some of the kids. He was almost in a fight within his first hour there. You'd think a huge testosterone bomb had been dropped in the building.

Don't drink and walk through cemeteries. Don't believe me? See what happened to this woman.

But she urgently needed to relieve herself and crouched down between two gravestones. As she lost her balance, she grabbed one of the stones which gave way and landed on top of her.

The public prosecutor's office said she died of suffocation as she was unable to lift the heavy stone
Yikes.

My van is still in the shop being diagnosed. In the meantime, I'm on my second rental vehicle. The first one (a Chevy Malibu) got a flat tire and I took it back. They replaced it with a Ford Freestyle with less than 1000 miles on it. It is supposed to be a cross between a minivan and a SUV and it is luxurious indeed. The Sonic waitress who always calls me honey told me today, "wow, this one really suits you!" I can enjoy it while it lasts anyway.

I was talking on my cell phone to a female friend at lunchtime. When I made the call there only a handful of kids on the playground at lunchtime. Two minutes into the conversation I was surrounded by kids at my table. They wanted to know who I was talking to and wanted to ask questions! I ended the call quickly and one of them piped up, "Mr. S. is a pimp!" At least this year I know that isn't an insult. But a pimp in a minivan? It just doesn't fit.

One of the kids at the table wanted to know if I'd ever heard of the rock band, K.I.S.S. Um yeah, I was hearing about them long before you were born. "They're THAT old?", the girl inquired. Yeah, I guess they are!

My boss went to bat for me with some of the powers-that-be. An opportunity that looked like it wasn't going to happen is now possible again. Its a really good feeling that she has that kind of confidence in me.

ChickyBabe's post on blog crushes was hilarious! Check it out.

I'm still thinking about finding more economical transportation, but I can't do anything until I can get my van out of the shop. Think cheap. Think good gas mileage. My transportation costs are a huge percentage of my expenses and I need to do something different. My biggest problem? I'm "upside down" on my van. I owe more than what its worth. I hate that.

So how is YOUR week going?
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I've had numerous people ask me what it is that I look for in a woman. It sounds easy enough. I have a friend who has a list of desirable man qualities that she refers to after she meets a new guy. I know others who can answer the question easily. They tick off in very specific terms what it is they find important in the opposite sex. The new person they meet doesn't match up? They keep on looking. I'm often jealous of people like that. How cool it must be to know exactly what you want, be able to articulate it, and apply it as you meet people.

I've made a partial list, but its been a real struggle. What is it that I really want? What do I look for? If you have those qualities, which ones are most important? After all, its not likely that you'll find a person that meets every single criteria that you think you want. It seems like you might spend your whole life searching for the holy grail of a mate.

So why am I writing about this now and why does it seem so important? Why can't I answer that simple question? I can tick off in finely bulleted points what it takes to be a good teacher. I can tell you in exquisite detail what it takes to run a good school. I can relate with passion what I think it takes to be a good parent. I can discuss my financial woes and sound like a C.P.A. Give me almost any subject and I can write an essay on it that sounds plausible. But I struggle with "the list".

I know that being able to make a list isn't the be-and-end-all answer. Romance and relationships don't fit logical outlines. I understand that its not as simple as making a list and checking it twice. The truth is that I've lost all faith in my own judgement when it comes to women and relationships. I've always had faith in my gut feelings and intuition. I upended my entire life to move to Louisiana to be with someone I fell in love with. I can't conceive of ever doing something like that again. That was a heart and guts move. I simply don't have a lot of confidence in either one anymore. The rest of my life I live with passion and trust my instincts. In this area? I take the same information and feelings and massage them with the hands of indecision and self-doubt.

I feel like the stakes are higher now. I feel a lot of self-imposed pressure not to make a mistake. As my heart heals it is so hard to think about putting it at risk again. As my kids recover from their loss it is difficult to think of letting them become attached to someone. So I dither and dally. To the women I've dated or been involved with in the past year I must've been (or must be) so damn frustrating. I won'tcan't answer even the most basic questions. I over-think and over-analyze. I should be a senator. I'm getting really good at filibustering.

I want the same things she does. But I've convinced myself I have to have a new plan....a new way of thinking. After all, look where the going-with-your-gut thing got me. I miss being that way. I feel like I've moved past the basic stages of grief. I feel like I want to be with someone. I at least feel like I'd like to give it a shot. But every time I get close, I stall. Its frustrating to me and I'm sure its frustrating to her.

To understand where I'm coming from you have to consider my past. My historical way of getting into relationships goes something like this: I meet a woman. I toss enough signals to let her know I might be interested. She reciprocates and pursues me. She floats my boat, turns my crank, melts my butter, gets my juices flowing, etc. I become involved with her and let it all fly. Like a downhill skier who has lost his skis, I slide feetfirst into relationship land at full speed. I don't consider anything except that she is someone I want to be with. Issues arise. Usually I get dumped. Repeat process.

Its more than that. If I really like someone I've always tried to be what they want me to be. She loves an outdoorsy man? Where's my tent? She likes sports? I've got the tickets. She likes opera? I'll find a good suit to wear. She likes to party a little? Bottoms up. She likes certain sexual activities? I'm there. A sense of humor? I'll try my best. She likes to discuss politics or literature? I'll pour the coffee. She loves fine dining? Bon appetit! I'm sure she makes some accomodations for me, but for the most part that isn't important. My self esteem comes from being able to please her, to make her happy. I'm a pleaser, an accomodater, and I always have been. I've been a chameleon. I change and shift based on who I'm with. Some of that is necessary to make any relationship work, but I think I've probably taken it to extremes in the past.

So now I've let the pendulum swing completely the other direction. I supress my heart and my instincts. I try to consider all the things that I think I haven't considered before or that I've missed. I try to reach certainty in an area of life where there is no such thing. So I spin my wheels and keep doing what I've been doing. I see its not working. So I go back to trying to write my list. I think it'll bring some perspective and help me wade through the conflicting morass of emotions and feelings that I go through all the time. I feel that if I'm not able to identify what I want and what is important to me that I'll just morph into a chameleon yet again. I fear that if I don't come up with something, I'll slide into something I'm not ready for with all the wrong reasons driving me. I also fear that I'll let the right person slide right through my fingertips. These are the things that keep me awake at night.

So I bring my list up in Word for the 50th time. I look at it and think about it. What do I want in a woman? What do I need? Whats important to me? What values do we need to share? What do I have to offer her? What can I realistically tell her that I can give?

Will the completion of the list mean that I'm on the right road? I probably shouldn't be so dramatic about it. It won't solve all my problems. But don't you think that at my age, with my experiences, I should be able to do such a simple thing? And what does it say about me that I can't?
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Yes, this is a history post. What? You thought history was all about politicians, generals, and causes? History encompasses the entirety of our existence. Think a sports star didn't make an impact? Think again. Think its trivial? Its not.

His name was George Herman Ruth. He was born in 1895 and his parents were tavern owners. At the age of seven his father took him to an orphanage and signed him over to the Xaverians who ran the ministry. He would spend the rest of his childhood there and would rarely see his family. He was befriended by one of the priests who recognized his athletic ability and helped teach him the game of baseball. He was a born rebel and was constantly pushing the limits. Brother Matthias, the school's disciplinarian became his confidant, friend, and the only person he really trusted. The priest saw something behind the cockiness, the rebellion, the bad language, and the resistance to rules. He gave Ruth what no one else did....unconditional love.

His gifts as a young man were obvious. He had a muscular build, impressive strength, and deceptive speed. He could throw and hit. He had a certain swagger that many successful people have. He was determined and stubborn. He was a star waiting to happen.

Baseball was already America's favorite sport. Football was limited to a handful of college campuses. Basketball was in its infancy. Boxing was a spectator sport, not something children played in the streets.

The concept of a "superstar" didn't really exist 100 years ago. There were teams with good players and the local fans adored them. But there was not a dominant figure that everyone in the nation recognized and knew about. If you lived in the cities you could catch a game. If you lived in rural areas (as a majority of the people did then), you might hear about the game if you visited the city and bought a newspaper. No radio or television. No internet. A player might be considered a star in Boston but would be unknown in Los Angeles.

Ruth signed his first contract with the Baltimore Orioles at age 19 and acquired the nickname "Babe" as the owner's newest young signee. He was promoted to the big league Boston Red Sox. Babe was a hitter but he first made his mark as a pitcher. His 14 inning complete World Series game is a record that still stands. He was sold for cash to the New York Yankees in 1920 and began the path to superstardom. How would you like to be the owner that traded Babe Ruth? This may be the most lopsided trade in history.

I could spend pages writing about his statistics. He led the league in home runs twelve times. He played in ten World Series. His big hitting style changed the way the game was played. Get the runners on base and let the Babe bring them home. "The Sultan of Swat" was born.

There was no one like him in all of sports. His tremendous charisma, personality, and quotability set him apart. Ruth was so confident that he believed he would hit a home run every time at the plate. Pitchers tried to devise new strategies to get past him. He kept hitting. The Yankees had other great players, but there was no one like Ruth.

There were many sides to the man. He was cocky and yet insecure. He loved the attention but complained about a lack of privacy. He was known as a heavy drinker and a hopeless womanizer. Many women became baseball fans because of the Babe's appeal. He brought new fans to the sport with his flamboyant ways. People wanted to come out and see him. Stadiums sold out when the Yankees played away games. He was once told that his new contract had him making more money than the president of the United States. How could he justify that? His response? "I had a better year than he did." He was the first professional athlete to earn a six figure salary. He seemed larger than life. Yankee Stadium, "The House That Ruth Built", was always packed with fans.

Babe had a soft spot for kids. He was known for his patience signing autographs. He visited sick kids in hospitals. People were often amazed. Here is this guy. He's cocky, a party animal, a supreme chaser of skirts, but he is so tender with kids. He remembered his own childhood. He knew what it was like to have the adults act like you aren't there.

Ruth grew up with the country. Radio and movies both became popular in the 1920's just as Ruth was in his prime. These two mediums brought his exploits to the rest of the country. Newsreels played at the beginning of movies showcased "The Babe" and his hitting exploits. Yankee's games could be picked up on the radio in various parts of the country. He was featured in newspapers and magazines.

Radio and movies were a huge step in creating a common culture. Movie stars like Charlie Chaplin and Mary Pickford became faces that were recognizable everywhere. Sports stars like Ruth and his teammate, Lou Gehrig, had fans across the nation. Fans staked out their hotels and the trains they rode on. The concept of a "star" was born. Someone that people idolized and wanted to emulate. Ruth was perhaps the first celebrity to be aware of the burden that came with stardom. He loved kids and wanted to be an example for them, but was keenly aware that his off-field exploits were not exactly the example people wanted for their kids.

Babe didn't get everything he wanted. When he retired from playing he wanted to be a major league manager. He wanted to be appreciated for his knowledge of the game as well as his playing ability. He spend some time coaching but never was given the chance to manage a big leauge team.

He dominated his sport like perhaps no one ever has. He partied with the country during the Roaring Twenties and inspired it during the dark days of the Great Depression. He was larger than life, more popular than any politician, incredibly gifted, and tragically flawed. He was the beginning of an era.
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Before I get on with today's post, I would like to express my humble gratitude for those who voted for me in the Okie Blogger Awards. I was honored to win the award for "Best Inspirational Blog". Thank you to Mike from Okie Doke for hosting the awards, and for all of you who find my daily dribblings worth your time.

My parents were picture takers extraordinaire throughout my childhood. I have literally hundreds of pictures that have been given to me spanning my entire childhood. When I get motivated I take a batch of them and start scanning.

It took little effort to find pictures taken in every year of my childhood. Wanna see? Scroll down. Hate looking at pictures of someone else? Come back tomorrow for your regularly scheduled programming.


Little Brian at six months old with his parents.(1961)

Also at six months with my paternal grandfather and my cousin. (1961)

Age 11 months getting my first real haircut from my uncle (1962)

My first birthday party with my maternal grandparents. (1962)

At the terrible two with my great-grandfather. (1963)

Three years old, Christmas, 1964.


For my fourth birthday I made a TV appearance on the "Mr. Zing Show". That is me open-mouthed on the first row. We had a birthday bash in the park afterward! (1965)

Five years old in June, 1966.

Playing in the snow in the winter of 1967.

Riding a horse at my grandfather's farm. That damn horse threw me a few times. Or maybe I just fell off. (1968)

Eight years old (1969)

Just a ten year old hangin around. (1970)

In front of our house (1971)

Look at the mitt on that guy. (1972)

Receiving my spelling bee award in 6th grade. (1973)

Can you say puberty? My mom and I. (1974)

FINALLY starting to grow a little. (1975)

On summer vacation in Tennessee carrying my cousin on my back. Fifteen years old. (1976)

Sipping a refreshing beverage following a summer league basketball game. (1977)

Going to the prom in my junior year of high school. (1978)

Graduating from high school! (1979)

There are a ton of adult pictures like this one too, but I'll save those for later. (25 years old in 1986)

I need to do something like this for my kids. Some day they'll appreciate it like I do.
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Like so many others, I have spent a lot of time in the past week watching scenes on television from New Orleans and the surrounding area. Dead bodies floating in the street or laying on the grass. People trapped on the roofs of their houses. Crowds breaking store windows and taking food and supplies. Looters snatching up electronics and other high value items. Armed groups roaming the streets and shooting at each other and relief workers. Vulnerable people just trying to survive.

I've written complained in this space about my current lack of material wealth. Things that I once considered luxuries are beyond my grasp. Things that I once considered an essential part of life are now luxuries. My standard of living is a pale shadow of what it once was. Sometimes I think I'm just surviving.

But I sit here still protected by the veneer of civilization. I haven't missed any meals because I couldn't find or afford food. I live and work in air conditioned buildings. I take a hot shower and put on clean clothing every morning. Police cars patrol my city and are there to respond to distress calls. If my house caught on fire, the fire department would be here. If my children became sick I can take them to the doctor. If my neighbor tries to take what is mine, there is a legal system to stand between us. My kids attend excellent schools with dedicated teachers in safe buildings. I twist a handle and safe drinking water pours from the spigot. I can pick up the telephone or sit down at my computer and be in instant contact with people the world over.

What New Orleans proves is that its a very thin veneer indeed, this thing we call civilization. In my country we live a life of affluence unimaginable to previous generations. We've created an edifice of institutions that protect us, nurture us, educate our children, provide a sense of safety and order, and deter the violent from preying on the weak.

It wasn't always this way, even in this country. Native American tribes roamed the plains fighting each other for the best hunting lands. European settlers fought native tribes for control of the land. Slaves from Africa were loaded on ships and brought here to work southern plantations in brutal conditions. The movement westward brought along violence and a desperate battle for survival.

The strong ruled the weak through intimidation and violence. People did what they had to do to survive. They scavenged and foraged for food to survive. They formed alliances with their neighbors to defend themselves from those who would take what was theirs. Food and shelter? You had to fight for it. Law and order? Nice abstraction. Someone to lend a helping hand? You couldn't count on it. Thats your home? Protect it. Survival was the name of the game.

Over the years we created this civil society. It was far from perfect. In desperately poor inner city neighborhoods or isolated rural areas you still find people engaging in that battle for survival. Wrenching poverty and lack of hope make simply living a battle. But at least the veneer of civilization is present even there. Someone who shoots their neighbor will be arrested and tried. Ambulances will respond to help those whose life is in danger. Police officers or sheriff's deputies patrol to deter the worst of the violence. Welfare systems and churches try to mitigate the worst of the hunger.

What the hurricane did to New Orleans was to wipe all of these things away. No electricity, water, or phone service. No city buses to take and no policemen on patrol. Someone is dying? No ambulance on the way. A rapist seizes his opportunity? No police officer in sight to arrest him. The people in those streets felt the stripping away of the veneer of civilization. The government was nowhere to be found. Police officers couldn't make arrests. Stores were closed. Where can you find safe drinking water? They couldn't communicate with relatives and friends.

How thin this veneer must be to be erased so quickly. I tried to think of what I would do if I was in such a situation. All my life I've learned to rely on institutions we've created. I can call 911 and have emergency responders here. A blanket of government agencies, churches, banks, schools, and private institutions insulate me from having to fight for my survival or that of my children.

But I must tell you this. If my kids had no food, I would be the first one to be breaking those store windows and taking what I needed for us to survive. No police to help us? I'd protect my family with my very life in whatever manner I had to. I would fight for survival just as many people in New Orleans have had to do. Someone tries to rape my daughter? I'd kill him without hesitation. Someone tries to take something from us that endangers our survival? I'd fight back with all the violence that has been civilized out of me in 44 years of life. I think I'd find that instinct of survival that I've never had to use. I wouldn't be the gentle, soft-spoken, educated, civilized man that I am now. I'd be a man protecting his family at all costs and in any way necessary.

We see people who are doing more than just surviving. They steal expensive electronics, shoot at police officers or relief workers, and roam the streets taking from those who are weaker than they are. We're surprised by this? Those people have always been among us in every city and county. We throw some of them in jail when they get caught. Some are hardened thugs that have spent their entire lives preying on others. The only difference is that now they can do it with minimal fear of being caught. Some are opportunists who in normal circumstances would never rob a store or a bank. Now temptation is laid out before them like a giant buffet.

What if I told you that you could steal $25,000 from that ATM machine over there and there is almost a zero percent chance you'll get caught? Many of you wouldn't do it. You'd shake your head and say, "no thanks, I don't steal." But there are others who would have a hard time resisting the opportunity. The things that keep you from being a thief aren't present anymore. No surveillance cameras. No police or security guards. No functioning court system. Its just there for the taking. Its probably just going to be flooded with water and lost anyway. Just take it and walk away. That kind of temptation doesn't ever exist for most of us.

It goes to the very nature of man. We no longer have to go hunting and depend it on it for our very survival. We're sheltered in large part from the ravages of nature. We've surrendered some of our personal sovereignty to each other in a grand bargain. We've pooled our labor and resources to create systems that provide protection to us all. Strip all that away and who are we? We have a higher brain function than the beasts that roam the woods, but like them our first instinct is to survive. We want to continue living. We want to protect those we love.

I wear a suit and tie to work each day. I'm extremely well educated. People address me with respect. They call me "sir". They look to me to solve problems. I sit in my air conditioned office and dispense wisdom to children and parents who come to me. Sometimes it makes me feel oh so important. But take all that away from me and drop me into flood ravaged New Orleans and what would I become? Just another one of the people you see on television trying to make it through another day.

I'm glad to see that the government is finally taking some steps to restore order and provide emergency assistance to the people of New Orleans. The thugs that have terrorized rescue workers and their fellow citizens will be arrested or will disappear back into the woodwork. In the coming weeks that veneer of civilization will be restored to a proud city. The city will be rebuilt and people will filter back in and resume their lives. I think it will change them forever. They'll remember how thin the veneer is that takes them from citizens of a civilized city to a desperate person just trying to survive.
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TGIF everyone! It has been one helluva Friday here. Its hot enough to grill on the sidewalk. When I was driving home from work my van broke down. It looks like the transmission is shot. *Sigh* I’m determined to not let that spoil my holiday weekend. I’m going to crank up some music and enjoy my evening.

So what is going on with everyone else? I took a look around and here is what I found:

Vickie will pay $1.00 toward hurricane relief for every comment she gets. Stop by, say hi to her, and help those in need. Need some inspiration? Go listen to John’s audio post. Or you could read this post by Bec. She’s ok but her house isn’t.

Lisa got new hair color and is looking for a new job. Leslie got a contribution to her moving fund from an anonymous donor.

Phoenix shares the story of a miracle. Chaotic Serenity shares a story from her summer travels.

Restless Angel can’t stop watching the news. Karen can’t stop studying. Well, maybe she can for a little while!

Music can transport Janine to a different place and time. Steel Cowboy shares how different things are from his childhood.

Monica has some things to be thankful for. I’m thankful that there are generous people like Sleeping Mommy who want to help those in need.

Mary Lou goes on a rant about personal responsibility. Sanora could probably rant more about her poetry mentor, but she’s too polite for that.

Maddy shares memories of a safe place. Susan shares memories of twenty years of marriage. Happy Anniversary!

Chosha thinks looters should be shot on sight. Kathy thinks her kids are precious. Check out their homework.

Juno semi-propositioned a prospective employee and she didn’t even mean to. Nicole didn’t proposition her daughter’s new teacher, but she does like her.

Margaret is going camping over the weekend. Breazy is going to her couch to watch her beloved Tennessee Volunteers open this football season!

Buffi’s sister-in-law and family survived the hurricane. DL has a lot of thoughts about the hurricane and its aftermath.

Melody shares a picture from the last time she remembers being really happy. Dorothy shares how she wants to think about New Orleans.

Stationery Queen is having a computer free weekend. Ginger is starting her weekend off with high school football.

Amanda is sad that her friend is joining the Marines. Thomai is very sad about what is happening in her beloved New Orleans.

Greek Shadow is applying for an extra job at work. Sally is applying her music royalties to help hurricane victims.

Teresa wants to know why. The Funky Cowboy wants to know why someone would shoot at rescue helicopters.

Bsoholic was entertaining himself by “pinching heads”. Lu’s sex flashcards sound pretty entertaining too!

Boo is overwhelmed by what she has seen on TV. Simply Satisfied is surprised that her cousin found her blog.

Splendid shares the ghost that haunts her. Colleen shares her love of gaming.

Elster has some random thoughts and they are quite entertaining. J.B. had thoughts that his cousin was hitting on him.

Veronica doesn’t always do her hair and she still looks marvelous. Mercy probably doesn’t always cringe, but she’s doing a lot of it lately.

Grace is a do-it-yourself kinda girl. Jewel’s new boss is a Barbie kinda girl.

Molly cracked open a beer and counted her blessings. T. Marie tossed back a cosmopolitan or two with coworkers.

You can just can never tell about people. Lewis can tell you that. Bob Saget has a mouth on him. Betsy can tell you that.

Cindra shares a lot of links to hurricane bloggers. Stephanie shares a picture of her sexy legs.

Anica picks her favorite songs from the year of her graduation. Babs picked a Roman unit for her home-schooled kids.

Sue shares how Canada is responding to the hurricane. Thanks to our northern neighbor! Kerry shares her thoughts of a particular news anchor. (Scroll to “My Fever Has Broken”)

Trucker Bob had a CT scan. I hope his results are good. Melanie had lunch with a hot girl. I hope she gets good results too!

Edge wishes people would stop being political about the hurricane damage and get on with the recovery. Amen to that brother. Penny wishes she had time to blog, but she is very busy.

A straight guy hit on Scorpy at a gay bar. Someone might hit on Trick if she has that special glow going on.

A friend of Safiyyah’s misses her blog. So do I. Inky misses lower gas prices. Me too!

Gotta love teenagers. Right Shelli? Gotta love Denver. Right FTS?

Wanda commends some TV newsmen. Aka Monty is critical of Canadians that she feels are bashing the U.S. in a time of crisis.

Stephanie is getting some evacuees in her area and is doing her part to help. Cyn is offering her prayers.

Jennifer got written up in a local article about bloggers. Congrats! If they interviewed Christine they would find out she plans some changes in her blog.

Okie Doke wants people who are casting blame to shut the hell up. Andie wants people who let their cats roam to take care of their pets!

Batesline shares a story of initiative that was thwarted. Just baffling. Chuck shares the story of a church that is being picky about the refugees it takes.

Black Goddess had one of those days. It may not have been as bad as Chet’s.

Darla is anteing up some money for her graduating senior.

Faith is feeling apathetic. Sara was feeling like doing a little blog whoring.

Fly Girl went to a strip club and files a report. Jack read National Geographic and shares this report on New Orleans’ levees.

Gladys has a dilemna. Stacey has a birthday.

Walker is retiring from the moving business. Shirazi is discussing the idea of links.

Steph warned us about gas prices going up. I’ll warn you. Sallie isn’t happy about networks making profits out of a disaster.

Redneck Diva answers 56 questions. Pauly attempts to answer an important question. Does he want Kenny Rogers as his uncle?

Muse is taking care of herself. Joan is taking care of her home. Sticky pants indeed!

Janet discusses gas prices. Lil Red discusses the proliferation of CSIs on TV.

It’s a holiday weekend. Do try to enjoy yourselves. OK? Let me make it more clear. Have a wonderful weekend my friends!
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A stack of brochures for a weekend basketball camp sits in our office. Kids pick them up, eager to go to camp, learn new skills, and perhaps impress their future coaches. I went to several different kinds of camps as a kid, but my favorite was always basketball camp. I'll never forget the last camp I attended. It was during the summer between my junior and senior years of high school. I would grow four inches during the summer to the height (6'4") I would carry into adulthood. I was coming slightly out of my lifelong shell, more confident, and more comfortable around people.

My friend Mark would attend camp with me. Mark was a preacher's son. All those things you heard about preacher's kids? They were pretty true in Mark's case. He was a really nice guy but definitely had an ornery streak. He and I would be driving the 70 miles to camp together in my 1966 Dodge pickup.

I went to Mark's house on a Sunday morning. He called me and asked me to show up early and tell his dad we had to be there early. The reason? He wanted to get out of going to church that morning. We loaded our things into my truck and took off. The drive would take a couple of hours, winding through small Oklahoma towns. Thirty minutes into our drive it started raining. No problem right? Problem. My floppy windshield wipers did next to nothing keeping the water off the windshield. We pulled over and stopped. Rain poured down. We waited awhile and then got impatient and came up with a solution. We dug in my bag and got out a pair of socks. We each took a sock and drove down the road with each of us using our arms and a sock to wipe the windshield. We must've been a sight driving down the road.

The camp was located in Shawnee, Oklahoma at a small private college. We would be staying in college dormitory rooms which we thought was way cool. So THIS is what college life is like! There was a summer session going on and there were college girls everywhere. College GIRLS! They looked like goddesses. During our breaks we would sit outside and watch them walk by. They were probably snickering at the goofy high school boys who were ogling them.

We played basketball all day long. Drills and skills in the morning. Team concepts in the afternoons. Games in the evening. Basketball and more basketball. The camp was run by the General Manager of the San Antonio Spurs basketball team. The big drawing card was to be the presence of George "The Iceman" Gervin. He was the leading scorer in the N.B.A. A superstar. He was supposed to be at our camp all week. Hooping it up with a star! We were pumped up about it.

Monday passed and Gervin didn't show up. Tuesday? No Gervin. By Wednesday we were all kinda upset. Where was "The Iceman"? The camp director gathered us together, apologized profusely, and offered us a choice. He'd buy us all a brand new pair of basketball shoes or he would try to get another lesser-known player to visit the camp. We voted for the lesser-known player. We wanted to see a real N.B.A. player.

There was also another camp going on at the campus. A cheerleading camp!! About 100 high school cheerleaders were staying in a different dormitory. After our evening games we always had an hour or two before bedtime. We spent the time hanging out with the cheerleaders. My friend Mark had a girlfriend but he was sorely tempted by a very cute blonde. I met a little cutie. Wish I could remember her name or where she was from. We went for little strolls around the campus every night that week.

Thursday came and guess who showed up? The Iceman cometh. Word spread quickly that he was in camp. He was 6'8" tall, sinewy, and looked the part of the star. He put on a shooting exhibition for us. We were in awe.

They chose a group of "camp all stars". I was one of the lucky chosen ones. That evening we played a game against the coaches, a couple of the college players, and "The Iceman." It was a mismatch but we had so much fun.

I caught the ball on the run and there was nothing but daylight between me and the basket. I roared down the court, leaped into the air, and laid the ball gently against the glass. As the ball kissed the backboard and prepared to drop into the net I saw a very large black hand come out of nowhere and slap it away. My shot got blocked by "The Iceman." I was weirdly thrilled and yet I felt the competitive fire sear my soul.

A few minutes later I caught the ball in exactly the same situtation. Once again I roared down the court, dribbling the ball as fast as I could. I cast a quick glance over my shoulder and saw a blur closing on me. I approached the basket the same way. I pushed into the air and saw the blur flying behind and above me. But this time I didn't lay the ball up on the glass. I continued under the basket, twisted my body, and laid the ball up on the other side. The big hand slapped the glass where the ball should've been. Instead, the ball dropped through the net and everyone went nuts, laughing and cheering.

"The Iceman" burst into laughter. He walked over to the skinny 17 year old and gave him a high five. His hand slid down and rested on my shoulder and he looked me right in the eye. He said, "helluva shot!" Scrape me off the ceiling would you? Take me right now God because it doesn't get any better than this.

I rode the euphoria into the evening. I was witty and charming with my cheerleader friend. I felt confident and alive. I accepted the high fives and congratulations of my camp mates. I didn't want to go home. I wanted to ride the moment.

We wandered past the dorm room where "The Iceman" was staying with one of the college players. We could hear them laughing inside. We could also smell the sweet smell of marijuana coming out from under the door. The Iceman smoked weed? Oh wow. A slight tarnish on my hero, but I'd get over it quickly.

We packed our stuff, hugged our cheerleaders, shook the hands of the friends we made that week, loaded up my truck, and headed back home. I'd been going to camps for years and I knew this was the last one I would attend. My senior year was coming. College loomed ahead. It was the last camp in the last summer of my youth. Things would never be like that again.

At least it didn't rain on the way home. Good thing, because all my socks were dirty.
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