Its Wednesday and it has been a scorcher of a week! I am so ready for fall weather. Cool breezes and autumn leaves. Bring it on baby.

In the car yesterday:
Patrick to me: "Dad, Aubree and me want to stop at the store."
Aubree to Patrick: "Patrick, you need to use proper English. Its Aubree and I"
Patrick to Aubree: "You say it your way and I'll say it mine."

I'm very seriously thinking about buying a more economical car. The cost of my daily commute is going through the roof. I'm driving a minivan, which is handy sometimes, but I could certainly get by with a smaller car with better gas mileage. I need a new/near new, reliable car that will get me back and forth to work and haul the three of us around.

I wasn't happy with Patrick Monday morning. He said, "Dad, I need you to write a check and put some more money on my lunch account." This would be fine except for the fact that I had written a check the previous Monday for $25.00. He spent that money in one week. A regular lunch costs $1.75 and here he is spending $5.00 a day. He can't seem to tell me what he spent the rest of the money on . Wait, he might have "bought some gatorade and ice cream." Grrr. I'm giving him money one day at a time until I can talk to the school.

For some reason I'm craving hot wings. Yum. Hot wings! I guess I could stop by Hooters. Good customer service there don't ya know.

I played basketball with some of the kids at lunch on Monday. I hit a few shots and had a really good time. The problem? It was 100 degrees outside and I'm wearing a dress shirt. Lets just say that the absorbency of my shirt was tested.

For some reason, John Denver's song "Poems, Prayers and Promises" has been going through my head. It jumps into my mind at odd times of the day. A snippet of the lyrics:

The days they pass so quickly now
Nights are seldom long
And time around me whispers when it’s cold
The changes somehow frighten me
Still I have to smile
It turns me on to think of growing old
For though my life’s been good to me
There’s still so much to do
So many things my mind has never known
I’d like to raise a family
I’d like to sail away
And dance across the mountains on the moon

I have to say it now
It’s been a good life all in all
It’s really fine
To have the chance to hang around
And lie there by the fire
And watch the evening tire
While all my friends and my old lady
Sit and pass the pipe around

And talk of poems and prayers and promises
And things that we believe in
How sweet it is to love someone
How right it is to care
How long it’s been since yesterday
What about tomorrow
What about our dreams
And all the memories we share

I once again anyone who can to donate to the Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund. The devastation and loss is horrific. I cannot even imagine what it will take to feed, cloth, and house the hundreds of thousands of people that have been displaced. When I think of that area, its wonderful people, and its vibrancy, it just breaks my heart. The scope of this thing boggles the mind.

So how is YOUR week going?
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"Hey!", the kid said to me yesterday. "Where's your notepad and pen?" I was outside on lunch duty and didn't bring my usual pad with me. Almost every day I go outside with legal pad in hand and take notes. I sit on the edge of the playground area at a table where I can see everything the kids are doing. On hot days like today I put up a big umbrella in the middle of the table to provide shade. I sit there through four different lunch periods.

I call it, "holding court". I set up my little shop and the kids come visit me. I watch the basketball and four-square games and talk to the kids who sit at my table. I'm always the first one at the table and seven lucky students crowd in to sit with me. It might have something to do with the shade (we don't have enough umbrellas to cover all the tables) or it could be my scintillating personality. I'm less formal than I am in the office and I won't give you the "evil eye" you get when you come to my office and you've done something wrong.

An eclectic group of kids gather at my table. During one lunch period my table is always full of special education students, with classifications ranging from emotionally disturbed to mentally retarded. This is actually my favorite group. They just want attention. I high five every one of them. If they don't come up for the high five, I'll say, "what? No love for me today?" Works every time. We talk about movies, video games, and their classes. We just have fun. They are my special kids.

It ranges wildly during the other lunch periods. Often, its the toughest kids in school, the ones I've suspended before. I'm not sure why they hang out with me. I wouldn't have hung out with me at their age. We just shoot the breeze and hang out. Last year I brought a deck of cards out and taught some of them how to play gin rummy. We'll have math contests...I'll think up a problem they have to try and solve in their heads. We'll play the ring tones on my cell phone and they see if they can guess what the song is. I've even done silly trivia contests. "How many selections do you have on the soda machine?" "Who is the oldest teacher in school?""How many kids did I suspend yesterday?" "what's the street address of the school?" I'll ask music and movie trivia. I might even buy a coke for the winner or ask them to come by my office for a piece of candy. I'm thinking about bringing a chessboard out there and teaching some kids how to play.

The reason I bring the pad outside is that I do work, gather information, and solve a lot of problems sitting there at that table. I'm more approachable outside, and a lot of the kids will come over to discuss a problem they a have. I'll hear things like, "Tommy keeps bothering me and calling me names." I'll dutifully write down the information and try to have a discussion with Tommy. Sometimes I can do it right outside and other times I'll do it when lunch duty is over.

They'll complain about being grounded at home. They'll talk about problems they are having in a particular class. Problems with lockers. They want to go out for basketball. They might be moving next week. Someone is making fun of their clothes and they are upset about it. The teacher is being unfair. I listen, offer advice, joke around, and write down things that need to be followed up on later. I follow up on previous conversations...."Hey Julie, is Tommy leaving you alone now?" I try to let them know that I follow up on even the small things. I may not be able to solve the problem but I'll at least acknowledge that you have one.

Its also part of my intelligence network. One of the things that you have to understand about schools is who has the information. The kids know a lot more about what's going down than I do. I like to tap into that. Graffiti on the wall? Someone knows and many times they'll tell me. Smoking weed in the bathroom? Someone spilled the goods last year and the baggy was on my desk an hour later. Someone planning to beat a kid up after school? We're talking about it before the bell rings. I don't make a big show of things. I just nod my head and smile.

So I hold court at my little table and do what I do best....solve other people's problems! I walk back inside with my notes and check them off as I take care of them. Parents think they are the school's customers. We need parents, they're important, and I like it when they are satisfied with what we do. But my customers are those kids. I tell them that its a team effort. We have to work together to solve problems and make life easier for all of us. You break the rules or do something wrong? I'm gonna come down hard on you. Come to me for help? I'll do whatever I can.

I'm not a miracle worker. I can't make someone magically understand algebra, even though we sometimes work problems on my pad. I can't keep their parents from fighting at home at night. I can't make her boyfriend take her back. I can't make the other boys like him. I can't make the cafeteria food taste any better.

Tomorrow? I'll be holding court again.
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Like so many other people I spent part of my day riveted to the news coming out of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast. Scenes of terrible damage, massive flooding, and destroyed homes. Water pours over the levies and floods a city below sea level. The damage is catastrophic. Lives have been lost. The images are just incredible.

I have a special affinity for New Orleans and its people. I had lived in Oklahoma for my entire life until I moved to Louisiana in 1998. I was newly remarried and joining my wife to live in the suburb of Slidell, just across the lake from New Orleans. I took the only professional job outside of the education field I have held in my professional life. I worked in managment for Volunteers of America of Greater New Orleans, and my office was right on Lake Ponchatrain. I could've thrown a rock into the lake from my office window.

My job took me all around the city and I got to know it fairly well. I worked with therapeutic foster families who took in the children that regular foster families couldn't handle. I was fascinated by the old homes, the architecture, and the neighborhoods. I loved all the different accents. I reveled in the carefree nature of the people and the city. It may be the most FUN place I've ever been. I loved the swamps, the crawfish boils, Bourbon Street, the daquiri stands, the old cemeteries, the restaurants, and the music.

People in the New Orleans area are some of the best I've ever met. The laid back party image is only part of the story. You will find there some of the most generous, passionate, caring people in the world. They don't know any strangers. There is a strong sense of community and neighborhood. I complained about the heat but there are times when I really miss living there and the people I met.

I lived there when Hurricane George hit. We were forced to evacuate our home and we fled to Memphis. As I was listening to the radio in the days before, the announcer kept talking about how this might be "The Big One." Everyone's worst nightmare was a hurricane that came up the Mississippi River and hit New Orleans with full force. This would cause the levies to fail and completely flood the city. George veered away at the last minute and did minimal damage. I had hopes that Katrina would do the same thing. It was not to be this time.

Tonight I'm thinking about the people of New Orleans, the surrounding area, and the other affected areas along the Gulf Coast. I see flooding in New Orleans and I think of those families I knew there and the people I work with. I see scenes of the Mississippi coast and I think about the school I taught at not far from there. I hear about devastation in coastal towns and I think of the basketball games I coached in those gymnasiums. I see flooded streets in the suburbs and I think of the neighborhood we lived in and the people there. I think about people like John Strain, one of the genuine good guys in the blogworld. All of them are in my thoughts tonight.

I'll tell you one thing about the people in that area. They will rebuild. You just watch them. They are proud, resourceful, and determined. It won't be long before you will again be hearing them say, "Laissez les bon temps rouler!" Let the good times roll.

They've been rolling for a long time down there and they will again.

I don't have much money but I did donate what I could to the American Cross Disaster Relief Fund. I urge everyone who can to go there and contribute what you can.
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I came across this little idea on Scorpy's page and a couple of others. You can go here, type in the year you graduated high school, and voila! You have the Top 100 songs from that year. Its pretty simple. You bold the ones you like, underline your favorites, strike through the ones you loathe, and italicize the ones you can't remember. No opinion? Just leave it alone.

I graduated from high school in 1979. The last class of the 70's. Saturday Night Fever had come out a couple of years earlier and disco was still strong. There was some classic rock and R&B mixed in. So what were the top tunes that year? Take a look. I'm going by how I felt about the song at the time.

1. My Sharona, The Knack
2. Bad Girls, Donna Summer
3. Le Freak, Chic
4. Da Ya Think I'm Sexy, Rod Stewart
5. Reunited, Peaches and Herb
6. I Will Survive, Gloria Gaynor
7. Hot Stuff, Donna Summer
8. Y.M.C.A., Village People (its better than "In The Navy")
9. Ring My Bell, Anita Ward
10. Sad Eyes, Robert John
11. Too Much Heaven, Bee Gees
12. MacArthur Park, Donna Summer
13. When You're In Love With A Beautiful Woman, Dr. Hook
14. Makin' It, David Naughton
15. Fire, Pointer Sisters
16. Tragedy, Bee Gees
17. A Little More Love, Olivia Newton-John
18. Heart Of Glass, Blondie
19. What A Fool Believes, Doobie Brothers
20. Good Times, Chic
21. You Don't Bring Me Flowers, Barbra Streisand and Neil Diamond
22. Knock On Wood, Amii Stewart
23. Stumblin' In, Suzi Quatro and Chris Norman
24. Lead Me On, Maxine Nightingale
25. Shake Your Body, Jacksons
26. Don't Cry Out Loud, Melissa Manchester
27. The Logical Song, Supertramp
28. My Life, Billy Joel
29. Just When I Needed You Most, Randy Vanwarmer
30. You Can't Change That, Raydio
31. Shake Your Groove Thing, Peaches and Herb
32. I'll Never Love This Way Again, Dionne Warwick
33. Love You Inside Out, Bee Gees
34. I Want You To Want Me, Cheap Trick
35. The Main Event (Fight), Barbra Streisand
36. Mama Can't Buy You Love, Elton John
37. I Was Made For Dancin', Leif Garrett
38. After The Love Has Gone, Earth, Wind and Fire (slow danced to it at the prom)
39. Heaven Knows, Donna Summer and Brooklyn Dreams
40. The Gambler, Kenny Rogers
41. Lotta Love, Nicolette Larson
42. Lady, Little River Band
43. Heaven Must Have Sent You, Bonnie Pointer
44. Hold The Line, Toto
45. He's The Greatest Dancer, Sister Sledge
46. Sharing The Night Together, Dr. Hook
47. She Believes In Me, Kenny Rogers
48. In The Navy, Village People
49. Music Box Dancer, Frank Mills
50. The Devil Went Down To Georgia, Charlie Daniels Band (my kids know all the words to it today.)
51. Gold, John Stewart
52. Goodnight Tonight, Wings
53. We Are Family, Sister Sledge
54. Rock 'N' Roll Fantasy, Bad Company
55. Every 1's A Winner, Hot Chocolate
56. Take Me Home, Cher
57. Boogie Wonderland, Earth, Wind and Fire
58. (Our Love) Don't Throw It All Away, Andy Gibb (another slow dancing song. You remember it Debbie? :))
59. What You Won't Do For Love, Bobby Caldwell
60. New York Groove, Ace Frehley
61. Sultans Of Swing, Dire Straits
62. I Want Your Love, Chic
63. Chuck E's In Love, Rickie Lee Jones Ugh. No wonder Chuckie turned out to be a scary doll.
64. I Love The Night Life, Alicia Bridges
65. Ain't No Stoppin' Us Now, McFadden and Whitehead (our basketball warmup song!)
66. Lonesome Loser, Little River Band
67. Renegade, Styx
68. Love Is The Answer, England Dan and John Ford Coley
69. Got To Be Real, Cheryl Lynn
70. Born To Be Alive, Patrick Hernandez
71. Shine A Little Love, Electric Light Orchestra
72. I Just Fall In Love Again, Anne Murray
73. Shake It, Ian Matthews
74. I Was Made For Lovin' You, Kiss
75. I Just Wanna Stop, Gino Vannelli
76. Disco Nights, G.Q.
77. Ooh Baby Baby, Linda Ronstadt
78. September, Earth, Wind and Fire
79. Time Passages, Al Stewart
80. Rise, Herb Alpert
81. Don't Bring Me Down, Electric Light Orchestra
82. Promises, Eric Clapton
83. Get Used To It, Roger Voudouris
84. How Much I Feel, Ambrosia
85. Suspicions, Eddie Rabbitt
86. You Take My Breath Away, Rex Smith
87. How You Gonna See Me Now, Alice Cooper
88. Double Vision, Foreigner
89. Every Time I Think Of You, Babys
90. I Got My Mind Made Up, Instant Funk
91. Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough, Michael Jackson
92. Bad Case Of Lovin' You, Robert Palmer
93. Somewhere In The Night, Barry Manilow
94. We've Got Tonite, Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band (A supremo back seat song!)
95. Dance The Night Away, Van Halen
96. Dancing Shoes, Nigel Olsson
97. The Boss, Diana Ross
98. Sail On, Commodores (see back seat reference above)
99. I Do Love You, G.Q.
100. Strange Way, Firefall



Thats what this guy was hearing on the radio and at school dances in 1979.

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Isn't it cool when someone can say a few words that make you feel good all over? Just a few little syllables can change your outlook on the day, lift your spirit, turn you on, or give you a big case of the warm fuzzies. They can make you smile or laugh. A chance conversation with a stranger, a phone call, an email, or even a comment make you tingle all over. My daughter kissing me on the cheek and saying, "night daddy, I love you"? I feel it from head to toe. Words have meaning and they have power.

A few little words can have the opposite effect. They can put a damper on your day, turn you completely off, or make you feel completely depressed. Remember the old saying about sticks and stones? Au contraire. Words can most definitely hurt you. Some of the worst moments of my life just involved a few simple words. They cut like a knife and can strike deeper than you thought possible. Ever heard words that are seared into you like a cattle brand? You can try to ignore them, but they don't ever go completely away. They make their re-appearance at the funniest times and often when you least expect it.

So what words would you want to hear and what words fill you with dread at the possibility? I've got some ideas. Some I've heard, some I'd like to hear, some I've never heard, and some I never want to hear.

Things I Would Like to Hear:

1. "Thank you for helping my child."
2. "You're a really good dad."
3. "Your kids really love you. Its so obvious."
4. "I love bald headed men!"
5. "You're the ultimate professional."
6. "You have a kind heart."
7. "Hey handsome, got a light?"
8. "I'm a publisher. Here's a nice fat advance check for your book."
9. "Hi, I'm Ed McMahon and you just won the Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes."
10. "I love you just the way you are."
11. "I'm a volunteer housekeeper and will clean your house because I love to clean."
12. "Hi, this is Alyssa Milano. Wanna spend the weekend together?"
13. "You're a genuinely good guy."
14. "Bald headed school administrators who drive mini-vans are sexy. Really!"
15. "You made a difference in my life."
16. "You helped me when I needed it most."
17. "Wow. You finally got your shit together."
18. "I'll bring the extra large condoms."
19. "I'm better for having known you."
20. "This is Superintendent X. I want you to be the principal of our new middle school. Hire your own staff and put together your own program. Here's a nice big budget. Go to it."
21. "You're better than what you think you are."
22. "You haven't been a failure. You've accomplished......."
23. "Dad, I want you to walk me down the aisle." (assume appropriate man here)
24. "I have tickets to Pink Floyd. Wanna go with me?"
25. "I do." (some day I hope. It gives me the nervous shivers just to write it.)

Things I Do Not Want To Hear

1. "You're fired."
2. "I don't love you anymore."
3. "Dad, I'm pregnant. Can I still go out for cheerleading?"
4. "You're too weird for me."
5. "I want a divorce."
6. "You're a loser and a failure."
7. "I'm afraid you're going to have to take a paycut."
8. "Your house is a freakin disaster area."
9. "I hate the gift you bought for me."
10. "I know you better now and I don't like what I see."
11. "Thats MY wife you're flirting with."
12. "This is Joe from ABC Collections Agency."
13. "I know you say you love me now, but you missed your chance. Too bad."
14. "I was unhappy the whole time we were together."
15. "Nice try, but we're just friends. What were you thinking?"
16. "Football season is cancelled. The players are on strike."
17. "Your erectile dysfunction is permanent. Sorry."
18. "That book you wrote? We used it to start the fireplaces in our office."
19. "Your entire blog has been lost. What? You didn't back it up? So sorry."
20. "You're an asshole."
21. "I want to be with you, but your kids? I just can't handle that."
22. "I never want to talk to you again."
23. "Haven't you heard? Disco is making a comeback."
24. "Sorry, I've met someone."
25. "I never really loved you."

The words we use have power and can have an uplifting or a devastating effect. When we combine them with actions we have an impact on someone's life for good or bad. Its something of a responsibility, isn't it? To choose our words carefully and to consider their impact. To be honest and direct with people without being gratuitously cruel. To realize the impact each and every one of us has on other people. To know that even taking it back doesn't take it away. To understand that with what we say we can help make someone's life worth living or make them miserable.

Oh hell, I guess disco wasn't all that bad.
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Its the last weekend in August. Its still hot as hell here. I cranked up the A.C. and took my weekly stroll through the blogworld. What did I come across? Find out for yourself.

Pisser wants people to start behaving themselves. I wonder if Teresa will behave herself at the Kenny Chesney concert?

What should you NOT say during sex? Stephanie has some ideas. What happens at a “Dvice party?” Lisa has the details.

Michelle thinks married men should always wear rings. Jesi thinks she should be able to wear girl-fit shirts.

Babs shares who she is. Fantastic post…please read it. Caitlyn shares her emotional limbo. This is also a superb post!

T.Marie has been busy analyzing and pondering. Splendid pondered brand loyalty and went off on an interesting tangent.

What can you do to make today special? Ask Vickie. What can you do instead of your work? Ask Amanda.

Sanora lists some of her random thoughts. Chrissy lists some of her favorite songs and some not-so-favorites.

Ever had a stupid argument? Melanie has. Ever played a practical joke on one of your kids? Juno has.

Are men more intelligent than women? Ask Shirazi. Want to know what how a nervous girl acts on her first day of high school? Ask MelodyAnn.

Margaret has a back-to-school rant. Dawn has her trusty internet provider back after a brief fling with a competitor.

Ever wonder where the “f word” comes from? Phoenix knows. If anyone knows what to do when your son plays with his privates, please let Nicole know.

Buffi reminds her kids that she is not a Kleenex. Amerloc reminds teachers of how to be successful in the classroom.

Greek Shadow is having a rough time at work. Sally is glad to be back at work.

Restless Angel wasn’t crazy about “The Forty Year Old Virgin”. Karen is crazy about her dad. After all, he cleaned up for her!

Flax gives us an up-close-and-personal look at a goat. Mestiza gives us a look of her sketches from male models.

Breazy is going camping. Sallie is going to classes and it sounds like she’ll be busy.

Mary Lou might be a psychic. Penny might be a painter, but that doesn’t mean she has to like it!
Stationery Queen won tickets in a radio contest! Lu might win the prize for procrastination!

Ginger has an assignment for you. Get to it! Leslie has stuff to sell on Ebay. Go check it out!

Should doctors tell patients they are obese? Check out what Shelli has to say. Should women (or men for that matter) get eyelash extensions? Check out what Trusty Getto thinks.

Monica and her daughter got to ride on a motorcycle. Janine got her Sears Christmas Wish Book. Already?

Anica found out her color. Stacey found out that okra doesn’t taste bad at all!

Trucker Bob has new digs, some thoughts on retirement, and a joke. Chaotic Serenity has a new post up. I was just about to issue a missing persons alert for her.

Know anything about cars? You might be able to help out Mercy. Know any really good blogs? Suggest one to Scorpy.

Thomai had a serendipitous moment at a stoplight. Beanhead had quite a few moments on her road trip. Can women really pee in a coffee cup?

Azher isn’t excited about moving but he is excited about football season starting! Darrell’s poem indicates some excitement about the color red.

Ellen got some good news. Cindra had conversations with Dell’s customer service.

Mystic enjoys looking into his eyes. New Wave Gurly enjoys “The Truth About Cats and Dogs.”

PLD went to a wedding three weekends in a row. Mike went to the dentist.

Sleeping Mommy describes how she gave up her virginity. Cyn shares the feeling of getting ready to write.

Kerry thinks nude cardio doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. Fly Girl doesn’t think going to a strip bar sounds like a bad idea either.

Pat is trying to join PHARTS. Boo is waiting and feels ok about it.

Safiyyah wonders why Muslims try to adopt Arab culture. Christine wonders why her husband acts like a jerk at the movies.

Aka Monty met a fellow blogger. I’m sure Jazzy met some cool people in San Diego.

Jerzee heard from her soldier. Kyra is moving to be with hers.

Grace went to a pub and didn’t drink. Sue went to a concert. I don’t know if she had anything to drink but she did have a good time!

E shares “13 Things” about herself. Bsoholic shares some lessons from “Mr. Handy.”

Edge was playing hooky. Redneck Diva was being diplomatic but didn’t really want to.

Chuck’s grandmother’s friend passed away. DL’s mortgage is hanging out there and I hope she gets it.

A.J. stops reading a book if it doesn’t catch her in the first 50 pages. Prince Charming stops and thinks about what underwear he will wear on a date.

Simply Satisfied hates her birthday. Nameless hates that her questions have no answers.

Diana is still running. Steph’s daughter is running and playing softball.

Janet isn’t sure what to do about writing. Walker is sure that he wants “D” to fight the cancer.

Movies make Lisa cry. The loss of chivalry saddens Chosha.

Stephanie entered her mom and sister to appear on “Extreme Makeover”. Christine entered her blog in a “how quick can you remove the flag?” contest!

Wanda wonders what to do with her blog. Faith wonders if fate is messing with her.

Pauly doesn’t want a card from you if you got it at the car wash. Trick doesn’t want another wasted night.

Laine’s man is a devil. Inky’s man isn’t going to have a mullet like this guy.

Lil Red likes to wear her Hanes Body Shaper. Joe likes to think that cowboys rule!

Kim thinks we should bring back the station wagon! Jack thinks a story about a man being forced to have sex isn’t too odd. It happens to him all the time.

As always I ask that you show some of that famed comment love to these writers. They rock and so do you!

Enjoy the weekend my friends. Do try to stay out of trouble, and if you just can't please let me know all the details. Fair enough?
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In honor of the new school year I thought I'd write about a few of my favorite school stories. I've pulled them from the dusty vault, polished them a little, and put them out here. You want stories? I've got stories!

• I once had a classroom next to the back parking lot of the school. I used to eat lunch in my classroom and sometimes would wander out the door to see what was going on outside. One day I walk out and see a big crowd of kids gathered. Remember school? When kids gather in a big crowd like that, its not likely that they are singing "Kumbaya" to each other. I discerned two high school boys in the center of the crowd. One of them was Oliver, a basketball player, about 6'3", 220 lbs., with a body that looked like it was chiseled out of granite. The other boy was Everett, a cowboy type, about 5'4" and maybe 130 lbs. soaking wet on a good day. They were standing a couple of feet apart and obviously jawing at each other. I started to walk down the steps and then Everett starts walking away. I'm thinking to myself, "Whew. At least Everett got smart and walked away from that one. He would've gotten himself hurt badly." Not so fast. Everett walks over to his pickup truck, opens the door, and emerges with TWO baseball bats. He strides back over to Oliver and hands him one of the bats! At this point I'm pushing my way through the crowd, and not so intelligently stepped in between them. I talk to both trying to calm them down and ask for the bats. After some discussion they both agree to hand me the bats at exactly the same time. I count to three and there is a bat in each of my hands. I asked Everett, "why in the hell did you get those bats out and why did you give one to him?" His response? "I wanted to make things even." He was a gutsy little guy....you've gotta give him that.
• I started teaching my class after lunch one day and a girl knocks on my door. She said, "my friend is sick in the bathroom and needs help." We walk the short distance to the girl's bathroom and I told her to go in and make sure her friend was decent. She said she was and I walked in. The smale of rancid wine hit me as soon as I walked in. This high school girl was praying to the porcelain god and there was red puke everywhere. The friend told me that she'd gone home at lunch and drank a bottle of her parent's wine. Evidently, it wasn't sitting well with her. Her friend helps me, we clean up her face, I help her stand up, she puts her arm around my shoulder, and I start walking her up to the office. Several times she says, "I am so fucking drunk." In my best teacher voice I told her to watch what she was saying. She slurred, "ok, I'm so fucking drunk, Mr. S!"
• I saw the "fight crowd" on the middle school playground at lunch one day. There is the huge crowd of kids, I wade through and there are two girls all tangled up fighting. Its the real girl-fight deal. Hair is being pulled and faces are being scratched. I bellowed, "STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!". Out of the corner of my eye I see a pieces of clothing sail into the crowd. The girls stand up and one of them (a 7th grade girl) is totally topless. The clothing I saw earlier was her shirt and bra. She is standing in front of 200 kids baring it all and is so angry that she doesn't even know it. A few seconds later you see the realization hit her and she crosses her arms and starts saying, "Oh my God!" over and over. I took my jacket off and handed it to her. The crowd scatters and her bra and shirt are nowhere to be found. One of the boys probably took them home for a souvenir. That was quite the interesting conference I had with her mother when she arrived in my office and saw her daughter wearing nothing on top except my suit jacket.
• I had a mom come in once early in the year to discuss her son's behavior. Twice during the conversation she mentioned her boyfriend. Hmm. I could've sworn she was married. I still have the student's information up on my computer monitor and I try to cast a quick glance at it. Sure enough, it shows her as married and living in the same house as the father. I guess I wasn't so sly. She saw me look at the computer monitor and turned red. She said, "I guess I shouldn't have said anything about my boyfriend." I turned the subject back to her son and we talked for about fifteen minutes longer. When she stood to leave she said, "you won't tell anyone will you...about my boyfriend that is?" I said, "no ma'am, of course not." I had to deal with her several more times that year and every single time she would ask me if I had told someone.
• I'm pretty sure I blogged about this once before, but I can't resist re-telling it. I was coaching basketball in Mississippi and also driving the bus to and from games. Being the nice guy that I am, I would stop at McDonald's after the games and let the kids get a bite to eat. I would stand at the door of the bus and make sure they didn't brink drinks or food back on the bus. I didn't think about ketchup packets. Argh. One particular night we got back to the school at about 11:00. Naturally, there are a handful of parents who aren't there to pick up their kids. We make phone calls and we wait. When the last kid is picked up I can take my bus back down to the bus barn and pick up my car. I had to clean the bus so it would be ready for the routes the next day. I parked the bus, flip on the lights, and there was ketchup EVERYWHERE. I'm exhausted, have a 30 minute drive home, and have to be at work at 7:00 a.m. the next day. For almost an hour I scrubbed and cleaned the floor and seats on the bus. Pissed off does not even begin to describe it! I knew it was the boys. They were sitting in front of the bus. The next day at practice I didn't say a word. I just started running them all. After ten suicide wind sprints I said calmly, "who squirted ketchup on the bus?" No one answered. I blew the whistle and we ran five more. I asked again. No answer. We ran again. I asked a third time, no one answered for a moment, and then one boy stepped out and said, "I did coach." I stood patiently. No one else stepped out. More running. This time about five boys stepped out. I said, "is this all?" No one said anything and I started to blow the whistle again. A final boy said "stop!" and stepped out. We had our practice and then lined up at the end. I ran them all again, and told the ones that didn't throw ketchup that they needed to show some leadership. Then I ran what became affectionately known as "The Ketchup Boys" some more. I ran them every day after practice for two weeks. We didn't have any more problems with a messy bus after that.
• Early in my career I was teaching a class and writing something on the chalkboard. I dropped the chalk on the floor, bent over to pick it up, and Riiiiiipppp! I completely ripped out the back of my pants and it was loud enough for everyone to hear. An entire room full of high school seniors burst into laughter. I just stood there for what seemed like eternity. I backed my way to the door and caught another teacher in the hallway. My class now covered, I drove home and changed pants. Back to work and on to the next class. This time I was trying to pull down the projector screen. I was having no luck at all. The screen was stuck. I gave up, turned around, and BOOM. The entire screen came loose from its mounting, fell behind me, and ripped a huge gash in my shirt. THAT was a day I should've just stayed in bed.
  

I really should write that book one of these days!

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Its Wednesday and school is in full swing. The rhythm of the fall is upon us.

My daughter shaved her legs last weekend. I gave in. I took her and two of her friends to Wal Mart and they headed straight for the cosmetics department. She called me over and showed me "Veet", a razorless way of shaving. I asked her two friends if they shaved their legs and they both said yes. I said out loud, "does a ten year old girl really need to shave her legs?" The ever so helpful Wal Mart employee standing nearby said, "of course she does. A lot of girls do at her age." I was defeated and threw the "Veet" into the cart. She and her friends went to the bathroom and did the deed. She came out, showed me, and said, "Dad, I have sexy legs now." Oh great.

The first day of school was Monday. Naturally, it was pouring down rain when I arrived. We had to herd all the kids into the auditorium until it was time to go to class. Ever seen 270 sixth graders walking around with schedules in hand, looking totally confused? Its quite a sight. The rain stopped shortly after school started. We decided to let the kids go outside during lunch. That didn't last long. The rain started all over again. Argh! There we are with 250 teenagers crammed into a small gymnasium. All things considered, the day actually went pretty well.

One of my many duties is to be the "saggy pants fixer". You know what I'm talking about. A boy with a 30 inch waist wears jeans with a 40 inch waist. I could put my entire DVD collection in some of those pants. Shorts really aren't supposed to be touching your socks, so I took a young man to my office. We buy cable ties at Home Depot just for occasions like this. I even let him pick which color he wanted. Hey, it was the first day of school you know! I loop the ties through his belt loops, cinch it up, and voila! To think that I went to college for this!

My friend Shelli is walking to raise money for Alzheimer’s research. If the generous spirit strikes you, click here to donate to this worthy cause.

I bought Aubree two pairs of shoes earlier this summer. I bought her two more before school started. Monday night my cousin came over, picked up Aubree, and took her shopping. When they returned she had three more pairs of shoes. I'm beginning to think I'm raising a miniature Imelda Marcos.

I love it when Sally calls me "young man"! :) Thats not something I get to hear often!

My school is starting an hour later than it did last year, and of course getting out an hour later. I do like being able to sleep in just a little longer. What I don't like is commuting through rush hour traffic! I used to drive in early enough and leave early enough to miss most of the traffic. Now I don't.

Today at work a young lady was caught with picture of her own cleavage. She was passing it around and showing it to her friends. On the back of the picture? Written in large neat handwriting..."Big Tits". Yep, school is back in session.

From Bertrand Russell:
Three passions have governed my life:
The longings for love, the search for knowledge,
And unbearable pity for the suffering of [humankind].

Love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness.
In the union of love I have seen
In a mystic miniature the prefiguring vision
Of the heavens that saints and poets have imagined.

With equal passion I have sought knowledge.
I have wished to understand the hearts of [people].
I have wished to know why the stars shine.

Love and knowledge led upwards to the heavens,
But always pity brought me back to earth;
Cries of pain reverberated in my heart
Of children in famine, of victims tortured
And of old people left helpless.
I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot,
And I too suffer.

This has been my life; I found it worth living.

Love, knowledge, and compassion. I'll second that. All in favor?

So how is YOUR week going?
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Which products do you buy name brand only? Which ones do you go for the generic label or the cheapest possible? I was thinking about this as I was shopping for toothpaste. I wasn't looking at the price or trying to get the best deal possible. I was buying my brand of toothpaste. Got "Always Save" toothpaste for a buck a tube? Not interested.

I put some thought into this and surveyed my house. Where do I find name brand essentials? Where do I find the generics? What products do I switch between brands with based on price or where I happen to be shopping?

Name Brand Essentials - I always get these. If in dire straits I might search for an available substitute, but I'm loyal to these products. I'm faithful and true. Not even a comely smile from an attractive salesgirl can change my mind. Not even if she offers to...well, lets don't take this too far. You get the idea!

• Soda- Dr. Pepper. Someone once tried to convince me that "Dr. Thunder" was the same thing, only cheaper. HA! If I'm buying lemon-lime or orange soda I'll go with the generic. But only real honest-to-goodness D.P. will do.
• Soup - Campbells. I must admit that I've stepped out a few times and tried some cheap soups but I was always left unsatisfied. I've repented, came back, and asked for forgiveness.
• Cologne- Drakkar. People try to tempt me with cologne sets for Christmas. They try to turn my head. Its not going to happen. Drakkar? I'm yours forever baby.
• Toothpaste- Crest Whitening Cinnamon Rush. I've tried the others. I've sowed my wild oats. Now I've settled down with my favorite.
• Ketchup- Heinz. I've tried to break away but I just can't. It stays.
• Vinyl cleaner- Armor All. What can I say? It had me at hello.
• Deodorant- Right Guard Sport. Its my reputation we're talking about here. Do you think I'd trust my hygiene to some newcomer?
  
• Bar soap- Irish Spring. Its all I use. Maybe thats why I whistle so much.
• Shampoo- Suave. Its cheap and comes in different scents.
  

The Wavering Category- I just won't buy just anything in these areas but I'll go with whoever is offering the best deal at the time or just what happens to strike my fancy at the time. I have a few favorites and I switch between them.

• Chips - I'm partial to Ruffles, Doritos, and Lays. I once took a risk and bought a bag of no-name chips and they were stale and greasy. No more. I stick to the ones I know will come through for me.
• Salsa- My preference is to buy it from the Mexican restaurant down the street. Its fresh and delicious. But I will occasionally buy Pace or On the Border. A guy likes a little variety.
  
• Laundry detergent - Purex sits on my laundry shelf right now. But if another brand seems like a good deal I'll buy it. It doesn't take much to turn my head here.
• Dress shirts - Crazy Horse or Van Heusen. There are better shirts but they are out of my price range. There are cheaper ones that look like a wrinkled napkin after a few washes. I find the happy medium.
• Rum - I"m a Bacardi man but Captain Morgan or another brand can sometimes cause me to waver. Bacardi is my steady but I can't help stepping out sometimes.
• Milk - Borden or Hiland. I can't make up my mind. I run back and forth between the two. They both put up with me. It must be my charm.

The "I'm Easy" Category - I go for the cheap and easy here. If I find it a nickel cheaper I'll make the switch. I'm a total product slut in these areas:

• Sugar- Maybe I'm sadly mistaken but I think sugar is sugar is sugar. What does higher quality sugar do? Taste sweeter? I'll pick up the cheapest one I see everytime. The same goes for brown sugar.
• Canned corn - You take the corn off the husk. You throw it in a can with some water and five syllable chemicals. Seal the can and sell it to me. I don't care what your name is. I just want corn.
• Chocolate syrup - Well hi there Brand X syrup. Let me just grab you and....oh wait a minute. I'm sorry. There's a cheaper one right next to you. Its mine. Sorry.
• Dish soap -the brand I bought last month? I hardly knew ye.
• Glass cleaner - they all look blue to me. Its all the same when the lights are out.
• Coffee filters - I'm so easy when it comes to this. How hard can it be to let water flow through and keep the coffee grounds out?

I need some oven cleaner. Hmmm. What to do?
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In my best Hank Williams Jr. voice…….Are you ready for some history?

His name is synonymous with traitor. He was a general who switched sides in the middle of the war. For over two hundred years he has been regarded as a modern day Judas who sold out his country in a fit of personal pique and greed. His name was Benedict Arnold.

Arnold may have been the most gifted American general in the Revolutionary War. He was smart, handsome, had tremendous leadership skills, and was an excellent tactician. Many thought him second only to George Washington and some thought he was a better leader than even the commander-in-chief himself. Many of his early experiences in the war were characterized by daring, intelligence, and bravery. So what could make a man like that betray those he fought beside? To answer that question I think it is necessary to understand the man and the circumstances of the war. I’ll give it a shot.

Before the war, Arnold was an educated, successful businessman. He traveled to South America, the Caribbean, Canada, and England. On a trip to Canada he met his wife Margaret. He had three children and seemed settled into a fairly affluent life as a colonial trader.

Then the world changed underneath his feet. Amid growing opposition and rebellion to British rule, a contingent of British soldiers left Boston and were met by armed “minutemen” in Lexington, Massachusetts. “The Shot Heard Round the World” was fired on April 19, 1775 and the growing rebellion turned into a war. Arnold immediately volunteered to lead a group of volunteers to attack British soldiers garrisoned in Boston. He proposed the capture of British forts at Ticonderoga and Crown Point (Ethan Allen and the Green Mountain Boys beat him there and he joined them) and was given the rank of colonel in the militia.

His wife died several months later on June 19, 1775. His world was completely different. He was engaging in battle against the same British military that once protected his lucrative shipping business. His wife was gone. He was sleeping in a tent instead of his comfortable home.

The American colonies were split between the Patriots who wanted to defeat the British Army and win independence and the Tories (or Loyalists) who wanted to remain part of the British empire. Many Tories opposed the excesses of King George III and Parliament but still considered themselves subjects of the King. Arnold chose sides quickly. He was a Patriot and a rising star in the army.

Arnold gained fame by laying siege to Quebec and was promoted to brigadier general by the Continental Congress. But he had begun to make enemies among some of the other generals and the Congress. If you read the history, it seems like many of the generals spent almost as much time conspiring against each other as they did the British. Rumors flew and charges were made. Arnold was passed over for promotion to major general for other officers who lacked his accomplishments. Although Washington had confidence in him, he was very bitter. He continued to lead his contingent of the northern army and was largely responsible for a string of American victories including Saratoga and Lake Champlain. These victories enticed the French to enter into an alliance with the Americans and this alliance would prove to be one the keys to victory. Arnold was severely wounded in battle.

Arnold is regarded as perhaps the best battlefield commander the American Patriots had at their disposal. He was charismatic, fearless, and daring. He led his troops from the front and many of them regarded him with awe. In one battle he had two horses shot out from underneath him and kept fighting. The same qualities that led him to success on the battlefield caused others to resent him.

Arnold was placed in command of the city of Philadelphia, and it was there that he met his second wife, Peggy Shippen. She was known for her beauty, her society connections, and her strong Tory sympathies. Many of her friends were also Tories. A great number of Americans had no desire for full independence from the British and many of Philadelphia’s Tories became Arnold’s friends. He was also court martialed on trivial charges and was acquitted. Once again he felt like his contributions were not appreciated. George Washington sent him a letter saying, “Every post is honorable in which a man can serve his country.” Arnold wasn’t buying it.

The war was not going well either. Cornwallis’ British army was storming through the American south, harassed by local militias, but seeming like a juggernaut. The promised help of the French had not arrived. Washington’s army had spent the bitter winter at Valley Forge and Arnold was there to see how desperate the situation was. Soldiers were deserting to the British or simply going home. The Continental Congress was beset by arguing and political games. Soldiers lacked shoes and food and many had not been paid in over a year. Ammunition was in short supply. Store owners would no longer accept Continental currency. Foreign suppliers were demanding gold that the American army did not have. Many thought the cause was hopeless.

Arnold had been cultivated by British commanders and Tories. Maj. John Andre had regular contact with him. He was assured that American grievances would be addressed and that a peace agreement keeping the American colonies under British control would be just and fair. He was also told that he would play an important role in negotiating an end to the war. Arnold was a gifted and talented man with an enormous ego and the British army seemed to understand that he wanted to be important. They offered him that. He decided to jump at the opportunity.

Arnold asked for and was given command of West Point on the Hudson. He took control of this vital base on the Hudson River with the intention of allowing the British to capture it. He took detailed plans of the fort and gave them to Maj. Andre. Unfortunately for Arnold, Andre was captured by the American army and the plans in Arnold’s handwriting were captured. He fled to the British lines. He was given the rank of brigadier general in the British Army and placed in command of other deserters and Tories. He was never entirely trusted by the British and was mostly sent on plundering expeditions to gather supplies. He was sent to burn the Connecticut town of New London, in the same area he was born in.

After the end of the war Arnold went to London, returned to spend a few years in Canada, and settled in London for the rest of his life. He is said to have died a remorseful and embittered man in 1801. I wonder what his thoughts were in those days? How many times did he lay awake at night, stare at the ceiling, and think to himself, "what have I done?" He must've read the newspapers and seen that his old friend and protector, George Washington, had become the first American president. He could've been there at his side, helping him build a new nation. Instead he was mainly an object of curiousity in London. When the curiousity wore off he was mostly ignored. He was rejected when he tried to re-join the British Army to fight against the French. They wanted no part of him. Who can really ever trust a traitor?

He didn't do it for love or money (even though he was given cash and land). He did it because of his ego and because he didn't feel respected for what he contributed to the cause. He saw lesser men being given what should've been his. It burned in him slowly but surely. Combine that with the fact that it seemed likely that the American Patriots would lose anyway. Stir in a beautiful wife who had strong British sympathies. Add a sprinkle of unbridled ambition. Toss in a gift for rationalization. What do you have? A recipe for betrayal.

He couldn't sublimate himself to the cause because the cause isn't what burned in his soul. How many people do you know who have joined a worthy cause and then made it all about themselves? For them its all about adulation, pats on the back, and recognition for THEIR contributions. The cause takes a back seat.

For thousands of Benedict Arnold's fellow soldiers the cause was more important than themselves. They endured years away from their families, lack of support from many of their countrymen, and feuding politicians. They often went days without eating, marched without shoes, and slept on the cold, hard ground. They were fighting the most professional, experienced, and well-trained army in the world. They were fighting for a country that didn't even exist yet. They were fighting to defend their family and neighbors. Against all odds they prevailed. Arnold may have fought beside them but I don't think he ever fought with them. Their cause was not his. Their dreams were not the ones in his head.

What if he hadn’t done it? After the war he probably could’ve parlayed his war exploits and other gifts into a position of prominence in the early days of the American experiment. He would've been a wealthy man and an influential one. We'd be reading about him in the history books as one of America's greatest heros. Instead he died a man reviled by his countrymen and his name forever linked to betrayal.

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The Okie Blog Awards nominations are in and voting has begun. If you're an Oklahoma blogger, do your blog citizen duty and run over there and vote! There are some excellent bloggers in every category. I've cast my ballot and was thrilled to be able to vote for some bloggers I admire.

I was flattered to be nominated in three categories, especially when I look at some of my worthy competition. Not only are they gifted writers, I consider many of them to be my friends. I'm thrilled to even have my name next to theirs for an honor like this.

It did get me to thinking. What makes one blog stand out from the others? What draws me back to blogs I read day after day? With so many good ones even in this one-state competition, how do you decide who to vote for? Its like choosing the MVP of an all star game.

I can only speak for myself, but I'll tell you what I look for in a blog. These are the things that addict me and draw me back over and over:

• Original writing - The blogworld has showcased a huge number of talented writers whose words would never have seen the light of day only a few years ago. I can read the New York Times or CNN on my own. I want the writer to express their point of view in their own words.
• Passionate writing - I like blogs where it is obvious that the writer is invested in what they write about. Politics? Sex? Dating? Music? Religion? Movies? Sports? Culture? Children? My interests are varied, I read blogs of all types, and the ones that really grab me show their passion for the subject. There is a music blog that I read regularly, and the writer's passion for music is just palpable. I love that.
• Authenticity - I want to get a sense of the real person behind the words. Some people reveal more detail about their lives than others and that is understandable in this day and time. What I like is to feel like I know what kind of person is doing the writing. I don't want to know their phone number (well, in most cases anyway!) but I do want to know enough to help me understand the writing and put it in context. I'm attracted to people who aren't afraid to show who they are and I'm attracted to blogs for the same reason.
  
• Wit and Humor - There are blogs out there that never fail to put a smile on my face. Maybe they write about a serious subject but they don't take themselves that seriously.

There are other things but that is a pretty good start. I love to read good writing and I enjoy getting to know interesting people. There are a lot of good blogs out there. I think I'll go read some of them now.

Those of you who nominated me? The check's in the mail! :)
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I was talking to a friend about the “Open House” we had at school last week. As I recounted the evening she remarked, “you were really in your element, weren’t you?” There is no doubt about that. I’d been working all day, the building was hot, I was on my feet for hours, and I was tired. I loved every single minute of it.

Early in my career I found this kind of thing intimidating. Meeting the parents and students. I felt like I had to make a good first impression. It had to be just right. I prepared a presentation to put on the overhead projector once. As my room filled up with parents and kids I nervously started my presentation. Five minutes into my little talk the light on the projector burned out. Damn. I stumbled my way through, but I was just sure that they left thinking I was a bumbling idiot. I was younger than all of the parents then. I wasn’t that much older than many of the kids. It was just an ordeal to get through.

Many years later I was doing a similar presentation to a group of parents in another school far, far away. It was a Power Point presentation and naturally the digital projector picked that moment to go dark on me. I just started singing “Dark Side of the Moon”, flipped the lights on, and kept going. What a difference experience and confidence makes.

I saw the parking lot filling up with cars. Familiar faces began streaming into the building. A kid that I suspended several times last year walked up to me with his mother. He told me, “I’m going to do much better this year. You’ll see.” Hope so. The mentally retarded girl who sat with me at lunch almost every day outside saw me, ran down the hall, leapt into the air, and gave me a double high five. Her mom said, “she talks about you all the time.” I saw a kid standing in the line to pick up a 7th grade schedule. He playfully hid his face from me. I patted him on the back and told him, “I’m just glad to see you in THIS line and not the 6th grade line!” His mom laughed and said, “no kidding!” The grandmother that was so angry with me last year when I suspended her grandson told me, “You’re going to be the principal here some day. I’ve been around a long time and I know it when I see it.”

I chatted and joked with the kids. I answered parent’s questions about the schedule. I listened to concerns and complaints. I wandered the halls. I talked with the teachers. I helped out when the lines got too long. I passed out candy to the little brothers and sisters. I talked football with the dads. It was semi-chaotic. It was noisy and crowded. It was a blast.

Take me to a party and I'll be the guy sitting at the table quietly observing everyone else. Maybe I'll find an interesting person or two to talk with. But in social situations I'm usually somewhat reticent. I'm not the shy boy of my youth, but I'm not the life of the party either. I'm on the edge of the conversations, not at the center of them. I don't "work the room". On a larger scale that is essentially what I was doing the other night.....working the room. Why there and not at the party? I'm in my element.

There is something magical about the start of a new school year. Fresh starts and new chances are the order of the day. Everyone starts off even. Past sins are forgiven. Disagreements are set aside. Of course there will be new problems, new issues, and new disagreements. But for today, it is a new beginning.

I’m with the kids. It’s a wonderful mosaic. It’s a beautiful chaos. I’m with my people. I’m where I belong. Is there anything sweeter than feeling like you’re where you belong? Last year I didn’t have this emotional connection to this school. This year I do. I FEEL it when I walk in the door. I'm in my element again.

Monday morning will be here soon. My walkie talkie is charged and my name tag is ready. Over 700 kids will stream in those doors. Some will be 6th graders who aren’t sure what to expect. They’ll be nervous and unsure. Some are returning to the school and think they know it all. They’re ready to see their friends again. One of my goals is to be able to know ALL of their names. Last year I probably knew a little less than half. Maybe its not possible, but it will be fun trying!

Pardon me if I seem like a geek or I seem sappy. I love this job. I love those kids. I love what I do. Its my profession, and other than my kids it’s the one thing in this life I’m most proud of. When I’ve been at my lowest and felt like a failure, this is something I can grab on to and say, “I’ve proven myself. I’m good at this. I’ve made a difference.” I don’t know what I’d do without it.

This is what I am and this is what I do. It’s a large part of my identity. I revel in it. It inspires me and motivates me. It helps make me whole.

I’m in my element.
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Tis Friday! I have a full week of work under my belt and I’m ready for the weekend! The kids have two days of school in and so far its smooth sailing.

I’ve taken my stroll around blogland and came up with these gems. So many blogs, so much time. I know you’ll enjoy them as much as I did!

Walker went a little “batty”. Breazy went to Knoxville and didn’t care much for it.

Edge reveals his love. So does Simply Satisfied, the object of his affection.

Phoenix ponders the meaning of love. Restless Angel ponders her childhood and attitudes about marriage and divorce.

Women gave Prince Charming a bad day. Safiyyah gave some Jewish friends a chance to comment on the Gaza pullout.

Greek Shadow has his school year off and rolling. Lu’s romance isn’t just rolling. Its sizzling.

Annie shares some of her favorite tunes. Karen shares some phallic inspiration. (“Yay For Friday!”)

Sally isn’t dead yet. Monica isn’t either, but she spent some time hooked up to an IV.

Zaza can’t help herself. She buys vintage Christmas decorations. Kyra can’t help herself either. She’s excited about moving but sad to leave her pups.

Phyllis’ town is being invaded by tourists. Splendid invaded her brother’s house.

Meg dreams of being a dancing queen. Redneck Diva dreamed she was Harry Potter.

Susan loves the rain. Caren loved her bike ride.

Nicole’s washing machine doesn’t have much spin left. Stationery Queen wonders how much writing ability Sean Penn has.

Designer labels for kids? See what Sanora has to say. Estrogen overload? It sounds like that’s what happened at Margaret’s house.

Grace gives us a thumbs up. Sallie gives us a story about men not getting it.

Want to know more about Amanda? Read it right here. Want to hear about Buffi’s perfect moment? Here it is.

Penny went to a funeral. Mary Lou went to a barn dance.

Mystic’s man is possessed. Rachel is somber and thinking about the frailty of life.

T. Marie didn’t get a ticket but she doesn’t like being called “polite”. Chrissy didn’t get bored when I tagged her to do this meme.

Teresa is ready for the fall. Ginger is ready for school to start and celebrates it poetically.

Thomai wonders about priorities. Do people really spend 30k a year on their pets? Vickie wonders about perspectives. Great post there.

Kathy and Steven are entering the “home stretch”. Collide is having an ordinary day.

Lisa (the blogger formerly known as Sara!) is looking for hangover cures. Hair of the dog anyone? Joan was looking for a way out after working in the Cuban lunch place.

Leslie is moving to Texas. DL would like to be moving as soon as she finds a house.

Chosha has a young Japanese boarder. Beanhead has met her match and he’s four years old!

Thumper entices her kitty into the bathtub. (Aug. 19). E introduces us to her kitty.

Cindra was disappointed that the Pope disapproves of “Harry Potter”. Joe wasn’t disappointed in his flying girl.

Peri has been blogging for a year! Trucker Bob will soon be blogging with a new page look.

Trusty Getto reviews the week. Darla reviews the reasons why women are crabby.

Janet shares 13 things about herself. SuZan shares her distaste for clutter.

Tanya wishes she knew her sisters better. Inky isn’t really interested in getting to know this guy any better.

Claire loves her some football. Pauly might try to interest her in thumb wrestling.

Bec shows how tired she is. Nameless went to sleep with electrodes attached.

Chuck makes a pledge to brush his teeth more. Well Fed Phoenix kept her pledge to her sister. Superwoman!

Harry was trying to get laid at a Communist youth festival. Jazzy was trying to hide from her blog.

Kathy’s summer went by fast. Scorpy’s weekend will go faster if you stop by and give her some movie suggestions.

Kristine shares some pictures from Amsterdam. Janet shares one of a teacher’s secrets…the Dollar Store!

Anne tells little lies. Veda makes poetry with lyrics.

Muse ponders the power of love. New Wave Gurly ponders distances and obstacles.

Okie Doke wonders why we import ice. Steel Cowboy wonders about miracles.

Sleeping Mommy is happy to be home. Shelli is happy to make strangers her friends.

Skunkfeathers asks if you want his pet rock. Did you want to ask what Steph learned on her vacation? You don’t have to….read it here.

Annabel Lee shares some quotes. Fly Girl shares a day like this.

Cori introduces her family. John may have to be introduced to some family at the reunion.

Anica had a Ferris Bueller moment. Jennifer is having a Shakespeare moment.

Kim discusses big butts. A.J. discusses advertising slogans.

Flax couldn’t sleep so she made a post. Someone couldn’t hang on to a cake and Molly has the picture to prove it.

Janine got a permanent job. Faith got a little itchy.

LilRed doesn’t like the idea of a pit bull ban. I wonder how she’d feel about Son Son’s new snake?

Aka Monty gave a happy birthday shout-out. Old Horsetail Snake gives some wisdom…everyone complains about the weather.

It was that time of the month for Gladys. For Tisha? It was time to file divorce papers and get rid of the Doctor.

Lisa makes some confessions. Andie confesses that squeaking makes her think of sex.

Christine’s husband never met a mirror he didn’t like. Justin didn’t meet them but he did hear from two of his favorite bands.

Babs points out that many of our interactions are trivial. Stacey’s passion for Krispy Kremes is anything but trivial.

Ilona discusses her view of blogrolling. Sue discusses an old memory.

Laine’s heart is bursting. Boo just feels guilty.

Stop by and pay these people a friendly visit. Let them know what you think!

Have a wonderful weekend my friends.
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I recently watched a documentary on John Lennon. I was stunned by the realization that we are approaching the 25th anniversary of his death. Has he really been gone for a quarter of a century?

Where were you when his life was snuffed out by a crazed gunman? I was a sophomore at Oklahoma State University. Still unmarried, I was living in a co-ed dormitory, the only one on campus. Someone went running down the hall, banging on all the doors and yelling, "he's dead, he's dead. John Lennon is dead!" All of us rushed out of our rooms and ran downstairs to the commons area. There were probably a couple hundred of us gathered around the lone television in the room watching in disbelief as the reports came in. We were all hugging and crying. Word spread of a candlelight vigil on campus and most of us piled out the doors and went to the lawn in front of the library. I don't know how many people were there but it seemed like thousands. Candles were lit and people sang John Lennon songs for hours. I don't know how many times we sang "Imagine". I went back to my dormitory and upstairs to my room. As I walked down the hallway I could hear Lennon songs coming from several different rooms. As I looked out the window of my corner room I saw candles lighting the windows in the dormitory across the street.

I remember some of his stunts. The naked picture with Yoko. The press conference from his bed. When he talked to reporters with the sheets covering his face. You want to talk about someone who marched to his own drummer? John Lennon did things his way. Sometimes it seemed silly and ridiculous. Sometimes it seemed profound. It was just Lennon. Always controversial and always different.

You always got the feeling that music came easy to him. Give him a guitar and his fertile imagination would create a song on the spot. It seemed like he saw the world in music. Churning out hit songs was the easy part for him. Give him an idea for lyrics, he'd create a guitar riff, and fill in the blanks. It was like magic.

For the longest time I resented Yoko Ono. How can you dislike so intently someone you've never met? Who the hell was she to pull him apart from the Beatles? Who was she to break up the greatest songwriting duo in history? Why couldn't they continue? What could they have done in that decade they were apart before he died? How much great music never existed because of her? He belonged to us!

Its so easy to judge as a fan who just wants more music. Lennon said of Yoko, "She's part of me now. She's like my arms and my legs. Where I go, she goes." Mystifying as it may have seemed to the rest of us, John Lennon LOVED that woman in a way that is impossible for an outsider to understand. We saw him as a Beatle, but he was just a man who loved a woman. She was more important than the music, more important than the many millions of dollars he lost, and more important than the adulation of his fans. There is something powerful in that.

As for his music? I'm an unabashed fan of most of the Beatles catalog. Lennon wrote a large number of those songs and collaborated on most of the rest. I always thought that McCartney was a more natural and gifted performer but that Lennon made up for it with his intensity. McCartney was singing songs but it always felt like Lennon was feeling them. His solo career was a mixed bag. He experimented and went in different directions and I just couldn't get into some of those albums. While I don't resent Yoko any more, I'm still no fan of her singing. His seminal solo was of course, "Imagine", a perfect Lennon song. My personal favorite was "Watching The Wheels", where he seemed to address all of us who didn't understand what he was doing.

People say I'm crazy
doing what I'm doing
Well they give me all kinds of warnings to save me from ruin
When I say that I'm o.k., well they look at me kind of strange
Surely you're not happy now you no longer play the game

He was happy in his new life even if the rest of us didn't understand. This was his version of Sinatra's "My Way". I think one of the attractions of Lennon was his odd combination of genius and vulnerability. A superstar who seemed to be trying to figure out life like the rest of us. A living demonstration that fame and money can't make you happy. When he found that happiness and seemed to finally find peace, he was shot dead on the street.

Elton John's tribute song("Empty Garden") says it well:

And what’s it for
This little empty garden by the brownstone door
And in the cracks along the sidewalk nothing grows no more
Who lived here
He must have been a gardener that cared a lot
Who weeded out the tears and grew a good crop
And we are so amazed we’re crippled and we’re dazed
A gardener like that one no one can replace

R.I.P. John. You were always more than just "the smart one".
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It’s the middle of the week again! I’m getting back into the swing of work and my kids start school tomorrow.

I shouldn’t have procrastinated buying those school supplies. The shelves were half-empty, the selection was bad, and the lines were long! We had the usual argument discussion about what supplies to buy. I’m all for those 50 cent folders and plain old pencils. The kids of course went those really cool $2.00 folders and pencils that probably look better than they write. We did a little compromising and I think everyone is happy.

For all you Blogger users out there who also have Word installed on your computers, this is way cool. It’s a plugin for Word that allows you to open, edit, and save blogger posts right in Word. I’ve used it a few times and really like it!

Yesterday was the first day back for teachers in my school. We had boring informative meetings throughout the morning. In the afternoon we gathered in the gym and had a whiffleball tournament. The teachers played on their teams and I pitched and umpired. It was a blast. After whiffleball it was back to reality. Tons of students without schedules. Parents coming to pick those schedules up Thursday night. My eyes are glazing over from staring at the computer screen so much.

Trying to find another interesting blog to read? Check out Lu. Not only is she witty and talented writer, she lets you peek at intimate IMs and emails between her and her luvvah! Its enough to satisfy anyone’s voyeurish desires.

I pulled back into the school parking lot yesterday after lunch. One of our students from last year and his mother were walking across the parking lot. My window was down and I guess I was playing my music a little loud in the car. The kid said, “Hey Mr. S. Were you just rocking out to Aerosmith?” I smiled and said, “yep, I sure was!” He laughed and said, “awesome!” A 7th grader that knows Aerosmith? There’s hope for this generation yet.

Have I ever mentioned that I have a severe crush on Alyssa Milano? The kids were watching "Charmed" and there she was again! Alyssa, don't you know we older guys have errrr....experience?

I may have mentioned that Patrick took up knitting when the kids visited England this summer. He gathered his needles and yarn yesterday morning to take to my parent’s house while I went to work. He said, “I’m going to make a scarf for a friend.” I asked Aubree, “don’t you want to learn to knit too?” She said, “Dad, I’m not a grandma. Knitting is for old grandmas.” We drove a few more blocks and came across an older gentleman taking his rather large dog for a morning walk. The dog was pulling him all over the place. She said, “when I’m like that, then I’ll knit!”

My mom had to take my dad to the doctor yesterday and left the kids in the care of my fourteen year old niece. Apparently, they took this opportunity to get into a big ole mudfight. My mom's solution? Squirt off with the hose and everyone into the pool, clothes and all. When I arrived to pick them up they were swimming in the clothes I dropped them off in. Kids, ya gotta love'em.

In the "what will they think of next" category you have this:
A new company plans to unveil new high-tech tombstones with embedded flat screen monitors that would allow visitors to play memorial videos of the deceased, according to a report.

Our school has so much movement. We're thinking now that about 1/2 of the students in our building will be kids who were not there last year. Take last year's test scores and make plans based on that. Get a ton of new kids. Start from scratch. Our mobile society makes the current testing fetish even more difficult. Our school may or may not "show improvement". What does it mean when the turnover of students is so high? It really comes down to who stayed and who moved in.

We were driving down the road a couple of days ago listening to Neil Young's "Hey Hey, My My". Both of the kids were singing along (I train them well you know!). When the song was over Aubree asked, "Dad, who is Johnny and why is he so rotten?" Good question.

Aubree and I went to her school tonight for "Meet The Teacher" night. The good news is that she got the teacher she wanted. She was thrilled. The bad news? Her best friend isn't in the class and a girl she didn't get along with last year is.

So how is YOUR week going?
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With school getting ready to start, the annual letter will go out to parents of incoming and returning students. The letter will welcome them back, give some basic information, and wish them well in the upcoming year. It will include a plug for the P.T.A. and include some early schedule dates such as open house.

I have a few things I'd like to say that will never make it into the letter addressed to middle school parents. But I can say them here. Right?

Dear Parent,

We don't really give you a lot of good advice in these welcome letters do we? We cut and paste a few platitudes from last year, change the date, and send it out. This year we decided to be different. I hope that is ok.

Your child is in middle school now, and not elementary school. This is not a bad thing! Its a transitional period for kids in a lot of ways and its a critical stage in their development. We understand so much more about this age group than we did twenty years ago. We'll do our best to meet your child's educational and emotional needs.

Thats all the pablum you get. Ready for what you really need to understand? Good!

Your child will have homework. This is not an insidious plot designed to take away from your family evening time. We have a huge amount of curriculum to get through in one year and stuff gets thrown onto the pile every year. There are not enough hours in our schedule to teach these concepts and practice them in the classroom. You know those guys you elect to the legislature? They LOVE to add new things that need to be taught. Those things aren't all bad even though some of it is useless. So when Johnny is sitting at your kitchen table slaving away on those evil math problems, don't take it as a personal affront. Fair enough?

Your child will have some projects to do. If the teachers weren't assigning these projects I'd probably be fussing at THEM. Its those projects that are such a pain in the ass that allow kids to demonstrate their knowledge and skills. You really just want your kids to become experts at regurgitating memorized answers back to the teacher? Yes, I know thats how we did it and we turned out ok. Thirty years of research demonstrates unambiguously that hands-on projects help kids learn and promotes creativity. Think about your job. How many times are you asked to provide memorized answers that you'll forget the same day? How many times are you asked to be creative and solve problems? Which of those two things do you want your child to be more proficient at?

Usually kids get several weeks to do those projects. If Johnny waits until the night before and then says, "MOM! My project is due in the morning. Can you run me to Wal Mart to buy some cardboard, markers, yarn, and construction paper? I also need to stay up until 2 a.m. to finish it", please don't call and fuss at me. Learning to organize your time is an important skill in life and your child isn't too young to start learning that. My advice? Don't rush to the store and stay up all night. Make him turn it in late. If he gets reduced or no credit, thats a direct consequence of his choice to wait until the last night. Help him get better organized. Remember, its not all about a "grade".

Thats right, its not all about the grade you get. This isn't high school and you aren't polishing a transcript to show off to colleges. At this age it is about learning skills and establishing habits that will carry you through those high school and college years. Organization. Prioritizing. Goal setting. Finding your passions. Learning social skills. How to make sense of a mass of information. Of course you want your child to make good grades. So do I. But what we both should really want is for him/her to LEARN. Its not the same thing. If you focus on learning the grades will take care of themselves.

I'm here to tell you now that middle school kids are the meanest creatures on Earth. They can be devastatingly cruel to each other. You should try and prepare your child for this. Let him/her know that if someone says, "you probably got those shoes at Wal Mart", that the end of the world is not coming soon. They should learn to try and ignore those kinds of taunts. Sometimes it ends right there. If it continues, becomes harassment, and makes your child miserable at school, then its time to do something about it. Write it all down and try to get your child to remember as much as he/she can about what was said and when. Come in and see me or call me. Most schools have rules against harassment and guys like me will enforce them. I can be fairly persuasive in such situations. I'll prevail on the the other kid and his/her parents to stop the behavior. If they don't? They'll be sitting at home thinking about it while your kid sits in class learning.

That being said, be sure you get ALL of the story from your kid. He comes home and tells you that a boy named Joe calls him "fatass" every day at lunch? Did he leave out the part where he called Joe a "fairy ass faggot" on those days too? Wouldn't you rather find that out from your child than from me? You of course know this from the little white lies and omissions around your house. Your child doesn't turn into a paragon of honesty all of a sudden when he walks through our doors. It is human nature to tell the story in a way that maximizes one's own virtue and makes the other child look like the devil incarnate. I know this and so should you.

Let me be honest here. Most of your child's teachers will be professionals who do their job well and want the best for your child. Some of them are superstars in my profession. A lot of them are above average and quite a few are very competent. And yes, there are a few of them aren't up to snuff. I'm trying to help them. You may even encounter one that should be in another profession. I don't mind if you call and tell me that. That can actually be helpful. I probably already know it but a little reinforcement never hurts. Don't call and string together a bunch of expletives. If you do, I'll be holding the phone away from my ear and thinking about how I probably won't get to eat lunch today. Be calm and specific about the problems you see. Its your right and duty to point those things out. Its my job to fix them. But understand this. Unless they hit your child on the head with a 2x4, I can't just fire them on the spot because you called. That is a long and involved process. We do like to weed out the bad apples. They reflect on all of us too.

You should be an advocate for your child. Something you don't understand? Give us a call. Think your child was graded unfairly? Call the teacher. Don't call me first. I have no idea about whether your child deserved that grade or not. If you call me first I'm just going to send a note to the teacher asking them to call you and have the conversation you should've been having in the first place. Not satisfied with what you hear? Then give me a call and we'll talk. Don't wait until there is a problem to get to know the teacher anyway. Work with them to establish regular lines of positive communication. It benefits everyone involved.

You may have a child who is physically gifted enough to play on one of our athletic teams or be a member of the cheerleading squad. Please support and encourage them in a positive way. Don't denigrate the other kids. If you have issues or questions for the coach or sponsor, talk to them privately. Making a scene in front of a group of kids is very uncool.

I must respectfully ask you to keep your marital squabbles out of the school. This is your kid's future at stake. Its not a place to take shots at your ex. If you tell me not to discuss your child's grades with your ex, the next words out of your mouth should be, "I have a court order". If not, don't expect me to be sympathetic. You and your ex should set aside your differences. BOTH of you should be at those teacher/parent conferences. BOTH of you should be involved if it all possible.

When you tell me that, "he never acted this way in elementary school", I'm going to nod my head sympathetically. I know that it is true. Your child is changing and starting to grow up. He/she is on the cusp of puberty with all that entails. Their attitude toward you will be different. Their attitude toward their peers will change. Your daughter who never gave boys a second look may be writing down the name of that 8th grade boy in her notebook. Your son who was always so respectful may develop a little bit of a "tude". Your "straight A" student may struggle with the changes. Its all natural and its not fatal. Remember what it was like?

Many of you remember as I do the experience of coming out of the warm, comforting embrace of elementary school and finding yourself in a sea of bodies in the middle/junior high school. We didn't have that "one teacher" who looked after our every need anymore. We changed classes. We had lockers. Our bodies were changing. We weren't sure of ourselves. Remember? Times haven't changed that much. They may look and act older, but your child needs you now more than ever. Listen to him/her. Talk to them every night about what is going on in their lives. When that boy that she ate lunch with one time "breaks up" with her and she's crushed? It may seem silly to you but to her its like her whole world is crashing down. Listen to her and take her seriously. Thats all she really wants...to be heard and know you care. He doesn't make the basketball team? You think, "there's always next year", and you're right. But to him its a hard blow. Talk to him about it.

Your child is embarking on the first rung of the ladder to becoming an adult. It'll be a struggle for all of us to help him/her get there. Be their biggest fan. Pat them on the back when they do well. Encourage them when they don't. I know you're tired when you come home from work. I know that a cold beer and an evening in front of tube is so inviting. I know that hearing about "The Diaries of Anne Frank" or exponents is not on the top of your priority list. But take a little time to talk to your kid about whats going on. You want him/her to think school is important? Show them.

I'd tell you that the most important thing you can do is to love them. But you already know that, don't you? You're a parent. You've changed their diapers. You've held them when they're sick. You've protected them. You taught her how to ride a bike. You bought him his first basketball. You've nurtured them and got them to this point. You're far from done. We're going to do our part to help. Most of us are in this profession because we love kids and we want YOUR kid to be everything he/she can be.

Work together with us. It won't happen any other way.


Brian, your devoted school administrator type.
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Ready for the weekly history lesson?

She was the scourge of saloon owners across the nation. She despised alcohol and what it did to families. She took direct action to spread the cause of temperance and prohibition of alcholic beverages.

Meet Carrie Nation and her formidable hatchet. For a ten year period she was the sight that saloon owners did not want to see coming through their door. She and her followers smashed up one saloon after another. She was arrested over 30 times for vandalism and destruction of private property.

Her cause? Alcohol and the evil that she believed that it caused. She was a member of the Women's Christian Temperance Union, an organization founded in 1874 to promote restrictions on the sale of alcohol and its eventual prohibition. The W.C.T.U. was the largest women's organization in the country and and is still in existence today.

Carrie had a short-lived marriage to an alcoholic that ended in separation before their child was born. Her husband died less than two years after the marriage and she blamed his alcoholism for the breakup of her family and his death. This began a crusade that would last the rest of her life.

The United States has had a love/hate relationship with alcohol for its entire existence. The Puritans that settled Massachusetts brought large quantities of beer with them on the trip. Almost every colonial town had its taverns and the most pious citizens around consumed beer and Caribbean rum. Americans have always liked their drink. Thomas Jefferson and George Washington brewed their own beer. Patrick Henry was a bartender. Abraham Lincoln owned several taverns. Colonial soldiers were given a daily allotment of rum. Harvard College had its own brewery and served beer to their students daily. Rum from the islands, bourbon from Kentucky, imported Scotch, microbrewed beers....they liked it all and drank it in large quantities.

At the same time there has always been a strong strain of disgust for drinking and alcohol. This has always been a very religious nation, and drunkeness did not fit in with the teachings of the church. Traveling preachers railed against the sin of the bottle. In the 1800's a growing reform movement targeted alcohol as one of the nation's greatest problems.

Getting drunk was a socially acceptable activity for men. It was much less accepted for women. Sipping a glass of wine with dinner was permissible for a woman. Getting rip-roaring drunk was not. Many saloons did not allow women inside except for dancers and prostitutes. The saloon was a man's sanctuary away from his wife, children, and job. They met there, played cards, got drunk, and stumbled home.

Reformers saw alcohol as the main cause for a host of problems. Men who were drunkards were not reliable workers and often lost their jobs, impacting their wives and children. Although divorce was rare, alcohol was seen as a major factor in many divorces. Men were physically abusive to their wives and children, and alcohol was seen as the cause. Get rid of the booze? Men would work harder, be more financially successful, and take better care of their families. Alcohol was also seen as a moral blight and a weakness.

This was the environment that Carrie Nation came of age in. She was six feet tall and weighed in at 180 pounds. Her size made her larger than most men of the time. Carrie remarried another doctor and spent the rest of her life fighting alcohol. She would visit with local saloon owners and try to persuade them to close their businesses. She lobbied politicians to support restrictions on the sale of alcohol. She pushed for its total prohibition and the movement was successful in several states.

In 1900 she grew tired of these tactics, gathered her followers, and began smashing up saloons. She and her band of women would march into the saloon signing Christian hymns and she would take her hatchet to the supply of booze behind the bar. Try to imagine the sight. A group of women wearing Victorian era dresses singing "Battle Hymn of the Republic" , bottles being smashed all over the place, and drunken patrons ducking for cover as the ladies lectured them on their sins. She paid her fines from money earned by selling souvenir hatchets with her name on them.

Carrie died in 1911 and didn't live to see the passage of the 18th amendment which banned the manufacture and sale of alcohol. Of course we all know our history right? While alcohol consumption did drop, prohibition was widely ignored. Rural entrepeneurs sold their moonshine. Big city "speakeasies"(secret clubs where people could drink) were commonplace. Organized crime gained its first major foothold on American soil as "the mob" supplied a thirsty population with booze, and used the massive profits to infiltrate police departments and bribe judges.

One funny thing is that drugs that are illegal today were perfectly legal during the prohibition era. Marijuana? Morphine? Cocaine? Legal in most places. By the 1930's, the prohibition on alcohol ended and states began passing stricter laws on "illegal drugs".

There is no doubt that alcohol has had a huge negative impact. I've seen alcoholism ruin people's lives, including members of my own family. While I was growing up I saw my best friend's dad constantly drunk. He once lost the family car in a drunken card game and didn't even remember it the next day. Drunken driving has killed many thousands. Broken families. Loss of jobs. Violence.

History has shown us over and over that banning products that are ingrained in the culture causes an entirely different set of problems. Corruption. Lack of respect for the law. Widespread rebellion. You think policemen in the 1920's wanted to arrest their neighbors for having a glass of beer? When I was growing up it was illegal to sell mixed drinks in this state unless it was in a "private club". But as a teenager I sat in restaurants and saw people drinking all around me. Police officers were sipping margaritas at the next table. The law was simply ignored and everyone knew it. Maybe it made people feel good to thump their chests and say, "its illegal to serve drinks in this state!" It was a moral stand if not a practical one.

A free society struggles with the idea that its citizens will do things that are unhealthy, dangerous, or harmful. There have been proposal bandied about to tax fatty foods in an effort to get people to consume less of them. We tax tobacco and alcohol at high levels to discourage their use. We pass seatbelt and helmet laws to protect people whether they like it or not. We make the use of marijuana a criminal offense, but its use is widespread. We've made prostitution illegal, and that is another law that is widely ignored.

If there is a demand for something there will always be someone willing to supply it, illegal or not. I've heard proposals to ban tobacco. After all, it would be a much healthier country without cigarettes, right? Think that would work? Or would it just create a whole new class of criminals overnight?

Carrie Nation didn't see things that way. Alcohol was an evil that was responsible for a lot of problems. Get rid of it and those problems would be solved or at least ameliorated. If only life were that easy, eh? I have to admit though, that I wouldn't mind the sight of Carrie Nation smashing up a meth lab with that hatchet of hers!

I wonder what she'd think of our society today?
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I run like crazy but sometimes I can't avoid being tagged. First it was Breazy and now Grace. How can I say no? I can't, so here goes!

10 Years Ago Today
I was still married to my first wife, but things were starting to look a little shaky. We'd just adopted Aubree a few months before and she was still on the nighttime breathing monitor. We'd taken a summer trip to San Antonio and Mexico. I would have reported for work as the assistant principal of my local middle school. Patrick was entering an early childhood program and evidence of autism was starting to come to light. I didn't even own a computer.

5 Years Ago
I was married to Lee and living in the burbs of New Orleans. I was teaching and coaching basketball at a junior high school in Mississippi. I'm sure I was sweltering in the Louisiana heat! Aubree was entering kindergarten. Doing some occasional partying on Bourbon Street. We were making plans to move to Washington.

1 Year Ago
I just wrote about this recently. I'd just moved back to Oklahoma. I was severely depressed. I was beginning my new job as Dean of Students at an area middle school. I was getting the kids enrolled in their new schools. I couldn't sleep or eat. I was a mess.

Yesterday
I relaxed and did some chores around the house. Played with some posts I've been working on. Chatted on the phone with a friend. Took a nap. Watched some TV. Sat outside and watched the storm that kept trying to blow in. Cleaned up some of the picture files on my computer.

Tomorrow
Its Monday and back to my first full week of work. I need to call the doctor's office and refill Patrick's prescription. I have to work on the master schedule for my school. I have some meetings to attend. I should probably get the oil changed in my van.

5 Snacks I enjoy
1. Tortilla chips and salsa
2. Snickers bars
3. Popcorn chicken
4. Dill pickles
5. Beef jerky

5 Bands That I Know The Lyrics to Most of Their Songs
1. Eric Clapton
2. The Beatles
3. Pink Floyd
4. Styx
5. Stevie Ray Vaughan

5 Things I Would Do With $100,000,000
1. Set up trust funds for my kids
2. Lay some serious dough on my family and friends
3. Buy a house by the beach and a Corvette.
4. Give huge grants to all the schools I've ever worked in.
5. Throw the biggest Blogger's party the world has ever seen!

5 Locations I'd Like To Run Away To
1. A nice island in the Caribbean with free-flowing drinks and lots of pretty girls.
2. Hawaii
3. Australia/New Zealand (I'd have to visit Chosha and Sara!)
4. Russia
5. Washington, D.C. (I just love it there)

5 Habits I Have
1. Procrastinating
2. Smoking
3. Chewing my fingernails.
4. Singing in the shower
5. drinking Dr. Pepper

5 Things I Like Doing
1. Making whoopee! :)
2. Going for long drives
3. Playing outside with the kids.
4. Blogging and writing!
5. Reading

5 Things I Would Never Wear
1. Women's clothing
2. A cowboy hat
3. Gold chains or any other gaudy jewelry
4. A clip-on tie
5. A polka dotted shirt

5 TV Shows I Like
1. "West Wing"
2. "Hardball"
3. "Big Brother"
4. "Emeril Live"
5. Anything on the History Channel

5 Movies I Like
1. "Braveheart"
2. "The Godfather"
3. "The Blues Brothers"
4. "Glory"
5. "Basic Instinct"

5 Famous People I'd Like To Meet
1. Paul McCartney
2. Eric Clapton
3. Tony Blair
4. Angelina Jolie
5. Halle Berry

5 Biggest Joys At The Moment
1. My children
2. My job
3. My family
4. The friends I've made
5. My fellow bloggers

5 Favorite Toys
1. My computer
2. My car stereo
3. My cell phone
4. My cordless drill
5. My rotating tie rack!

5 Hapless Victims Lucky People!
1. New Wave Gurly - because she hasn't been blogging enough and needs a little inspiration!
2. Chrissy - because she's a new blogger and probably hasn't gotten tired of memes yet!
3. Phoenix - because..well, I'm just curious.
4. Amanda - because it will take her mind off of internet dating.
5. Darla - see #1!

Get busy girls! Of course, anyone else is welcome to jump in and play.
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I came across this post regarding the long term impact of divorce on children. The post itself is fairly short, but there is a great deal of debate in the comments. There is a great deal of talk on the book, "The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce", a book that came out a few years ago which tracked children of divorce over a 25 year period.

The results aren't particularly surprising. A large number of children who come out of a divorced family have consequences that carry into adulthood. I didn't need a book to tell me that. It affects their own romantic relationships, their careers, self esteem, and their own parenting. They are more likely to fall prey to a host of problems including drug abuse and marital problems of their own.

Roughly half of all marriages will end in divorce. The statistics are even more daunting for second marriages. The number of children who will have divorced parents has more than doubled in the last thirty years. The impact has been profound on kids.

I write this as a twice divorced father and I'm not proud of that fact. I'm part of those statistics and so are my kids. Don't think that I haven't felt guilty for not providing them what is obviously ideal....a stable home with two parents who love and nurture them. I certainly never wanted or intended for it to be this way.

Its easy for me to say that its not my fault. After all, my first wife chose to move out of our home. But I certainly didn't argue with her about it and I spurned her efforts at reconciliation. Why? I wish I could say its because I was thinking in the kid's best interest, but we know thats not true. I was enjoying my new found freedom and looking to find the romance and passion that had been missing from my marriage. If I'm happy the kids will be happy. Right? I did fight to keep my second marriage intact, but I also moved away, ending the small chance of reconciliation that might have existed. I'm not accepting all the blame, but I'm not guilt free either. I did believe that moving back to Oklahoma was in the children's best interest.

There has been an explosion in divorces in the last forty years. States revamped their divorce laws, making it much neater, cleaner, and easier to sever the knot. No longer would people have to stay in loveless, abusive, unhappy marriages. No fault divorce. You don't have to "prove" anything. Just say you want out and you're out. Divorce, a rare occurence in my parent's generation, became commonplace. I'm not saying this is all a bad thing. People used to endure terrible marriages because of society's stigma on divorce and the legal obstacles. It was embarassing to get divorced. Your parents didn't want to tell your friends or relatives.

During my first marriage my wife and I were friends with six other married couples that I can think of. We all got married within a few years of each other. We ran around together, went on camping trips, took vacations together, went out dancing, and had parties at each other's houses. All of us were married in the early 80's. Twenty years later NONE of those couples are together. All had children. What happened to us? I watched us grow us a group. The late teens/early 20's couples who were luvvy-duvvy and probably had sex every night. By our late 20's/early 30's we had responsible jobs, kids, and mortgages. A decade later we'd all be part of those divorce stats. Those cute little kids that scurried around the tables while we charcoaled hamburgers at parties are now in their teens or are young adults. How has it changed their lives?

I can contrast this with my parents and their friends. My parents have been married for 45 years. Did you read that? Forty five years? Their friends all have marriages of similiar duration. They've endured the hard times. They've raised their kids. I'm sure they had rocky roads during those years. I'm sure it wasn't always easy. But I had the privilege of growing up in a house with two parents, and the thought that they might split up never even crossed my mind. It was a given. They were together and would be together.

This is not to say that no one should get divorced if they have children. I know people who I think SHOULD get divorced. Their spouse is physically or mentally abusive, a danger to the kids, a hopeless cheat, cruel, or a host of other things. No one should have to endure a marriage like that. But I think its undeniable that a lot of people with kids get divorced because they are restless. They're bored. The passion isn't there and they have no interest in reviving it. They meet someone else more exciting. How often do the kids factor into that equation?

I'm not judging. I'm certainly in no position to do that and would be hypocritical if I tried. Every marriage is unique and the reasons a marriage ends are unique in every situation. But I do think that people with children owe it to those kids to explore every other option short of divorcing. If they do decide to divorce, they owe the kids every effort at getting along with their ex. The kids need to see their parents still working together for their best interest.

Don't you hate it when the kids are used as pawns? Shuttled back and forth between two warring parties. Seeing and hearing their parents denigrate each other. Given messages to send. Manipulative games with the kids as the centerpiece. Its a sad thing to witness. I see it in my job a lot. They try to drag the school into it as well. They take a bad situation and make it even worse. You don't think that has an impact? I've had those kids in my office many times. They don't want to be part of a tit-for-tat game. They don't want a phalanx of lawyers, judges, and social workers deciding their fate. They want their parents to act like parents, love them, and keep the chaos out of their lives. You wouldn't believe the things they tell me. Dueling restraining orders. Fights. Late night screaming matches. Yo-yo visitation games. All the evidence shows that divorce is hard enough on kids. We're going to do this to them too? It makes my blood boil.

As I write this, my children are sound asleep in their bedrooms. I walked by and checked in on them awhile ago. I could see their faces from the hallway light. Beautiful and innocent. They didn't choose this fate. The adults in their life chose it for them. My wives chose it for them. I chose it for them. I do have good relationships with both of my ex-wives and I'm thankful for that. My first wife and I worked together for almost a year to make this summer's England trip happen. I was thrilled for the kids that they had a chance to spend time with her. I've made tons of mistakes, but my kids have never heard a critical word about either of my wives escape my lips. I've answered their questions honestly but I've been very careful to let them know that they were loved and that it wasn't their fault.

Its been easy for me in that sense. I've never had a custody battle, and there was never any question about where the kids would be living. I know that many people who read this haven't had that kind of experience. Aubree told my mom recently, "my dad will always be there for us." You're damn right I will. I haven't been the perfect parent and I haven't given them a perfect life. But I have been their constant that they could always count on. That is something.

I can't take back the choices I made and I can't rewind the clock. I can only hope that the damage from what I've done will be mitigated by the love and care I provide for them. They may be part of the statistics now, but they are a lot more than that. They are unique souls that have been through a lot of trauma and change.

My thoughts on this have certainly colored my relationships. I've dated and met some wonderful women in the last year, but none of them have ever met the kids. I can't drag women in and out of their lives. Both of them, especially Aubree, are thirsty for a female presence. This continues to make me very cautious. Its not about me this time around. Sometimes I too thirst for the idea of having a "girlfriend" or a steady female in my life. Its what we all want ultimately, isn't it? You don't think that I don't want to be loved? That I don't want that special person in my life again? That I wouldn't love to see a woman helping Aubree do her hair or cook Patrick one of his favorite meals? That I wouldn't love to get married again some day? I just don't know if it is in the cards for me.

I'm not saying that I want to be a martyr for the kids. That isn't necessary. They know I've dated, and I always answer their questions honestly. I'm sure the time will come when I'll introduce them to a woman who is a friend or perhaps more. But I do think I owe it to them to be cautious about who I bring into their lives.

Those divorce statistics are daunting to me. I can't tell you how much I do not want to go through another divorce. When you get married in this day and time that is the risk you take. The thing is that I'm just not risking it myself. I'm a big boy and I'm still willing to take chances. But I won't risk the hearts of my children again lightly. I can't and I won't. I promised myself that last summer. I would so dearly love for them to be able to see with me a relationship built on love that really works. I also can't stand the thought of watching them have to say goodbye again to someone they've grown attached to. I cannot bear the thought of them having to endure another failed relationship. I'm willing to be alone if that is what it takes to avoid that from happening again. No one can ever know the pain that was endured in this house during the past year. Quite the conundrum eh?

When I started writing this I didn't mean to make it so personal. Naturally, the ideas of how divorce affects children are an important topic in my thoughts. It makes my heart ache to think that things I've done will impact them negatively throughout their lives. Damnit. Twenty years from now if Aubree is having relationship problems, will I think that I'm partly to blame? I guess time will tell, won't it?

I'm curious about your thoughts. What is the impact of divorce on kids? What can we do to make it better for them? Have we turned into a society of selfish people who put our own needs ahead of the children? I don't have all the answers. God knows, I wish I did.

I want for my kids what I wanted for myself. Find someone to love who loves you the same way. Cherish that person and build a life with them. Let them explore your dreams with you. Do everything in your power to build that relationship into a lifelong partnership. If you choose to have children of your own, love them, nurture them, and make them the center of your life. I hope they can find that and buck those damn statistics.

As for the long term consequences? I'll do everything I can to make sure they aren't part of those other statistics.
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TGIF! This time I say it like I really mean it! I've been back at work a whole two days and I'm ready for the weekend. Its very quiet so far. Busy, but quiet. No students. No teachers. Just administration, custodians, and office staff puttering around a very quiet building. Its the calm before the storm!

Getting geared up for another school year didn't stop me from casting my watchful eyes across the blogland. I looked at the blogworld and what did I see? A whole lotta people saying, "I wanna be free!" Well, they said some other things too. Wanna find out what? Start clicking.

Skunkfeathers knows what to do with anonymous commenting trolls. Kyra knows that some of the most precious things in life are a little worn.

Safiyyah thinks that adherents of a religion shouldn’t lie when answering questions. I highly recommend this post. I think that you should go see Sara’s videoblog. Also highly recommended.

Babs’ husband is “fundamentally opposed” to blogging. He’d like to hear from you. Sanora notices that female movie characters tend to get punished if they are strong. Let her know what you think. It’s a thought provoking post.

Susan reports on a big fire near her parent's house. Breazy reports that the I.R.S. wants to start taxing penises.

Walker went “commando” and had an experience he’d just as soon forget. Mestiza went to Expo and her experience will be much more enjoyable.

When you ride with Trucker Bob, don't take your boots off if you want to keep them. When you hang out with Jack, don’t bash Los Angeles or you’ll hear from him!

Laine shares a litany of posts that take you from her first meeting to the marriage chapel. Amanda shares her fear of meeting a guy she’s been talking to online.

Sally wonders why her mind can't just relax. Caren wonders why she can't get a good night's sleep.

Penny's husband is back to work and she's not far behind him. Greek Shadow is back to work and had his first day of classes. Love his history quote.

Michelle knows what to do with emotional vampires. Dawn knows that its time to de-junk her house!

Simply Satisified admits that she's a junkie. Fly Girl admits that she is tired of herself.

T. Marie had a birthday. Restless Angel has shorter hair.

Mary Lou wonders if her daughter is holding a grudge. Stationery Queen wonders if her husband is evil!

Karen is waiting for the doctor’s office to call back. Chrissy is waiting for the city council to get a clue!

Redneck Diva’s friend has mastered “gas at will”. Kris has a theory about coasters. Do you agree with her?

Collide shares some unforgettable moments. Teresa shares her anxiety about her first grader’s first day of school.

Shirazi discusses the dark side of blogging. DL discusses her hatred for her job after only a week!

April felt like whining a bit. The week went by slowly for T.J.

Nicole hopes it stays dry for her camping trip this weekend.

Annabel went to a blogger party. Sounds like fun! Leslie went to her door and found a surprise gift waiting for her.

Anne wants to know a few things about you. Thomai wants to get organized.

Stacey loves her doctor. Annie loves her bed.

Joan hung out with her hippy friend. The Funky Cowboy hung out at a wedding.

Sleeping Mommy is jealous. Phoenix wasn’t feeling well.

Red Headed Gal enjoyed seeing Richard Thompson in concert. Chosha enjoyed the snow. SNOW?

Janine’s guilty summer pleasure is “Rockstar INXS”. I’m sure Roselle will get a lot of pleasure from her trip “across the pond.”

New Wave Gurly doesn’t talk about religion much, but she does in this post. Feisty Girl didn’t want to make a big deal of it, but she’s been blogging for two years.

Steel Cowboy talks about spending time with his kids. Aka Monty talks about getting her kids enrolled in school.

Mystic is filled with anticipation. Chuck is thinking about drinking.

Christine’s husband has no sense of style. Ellen’s husband took her to a cottage on the lake.

Jennifer thinks using a dating coach is cheating. Joe thinks it really is over. This would have been his 20^th wedding anniversary.

Andie has a new toy and she is all excited. Data Monkey had to get a new battery and it wasn’t all that exciting.

Kim plays celebrity “guess who?” Guess who this foot belongs to?

Michael and his son went snorkeling. Christine went outside to enjoy the sun.

Bec needs to be held. Lisa needs women in her life.

Cyn ponders the “empty nest”. Sweety’s nest will soon have a newborn addition. Congratulations!

Dewdrop is excited at the idea of buying a new house. Ginger is probably pondering a new car after her test drive.

Ilona discusses money and faith. John discusses the idea of “runners high”.

Kathryn’s boss doesn’t like her arms. Prince Charming doesn’t like New Jersey.

Kathy had a birthday. Lisa had a revelation….she has a kid in high school.

Whats the cruelest crime in love? Ask Lewis. Whats the definition of a dumbass? Ask Lip Schtick.

You don’t see all of Maddy in her blog. You can see what Muse is thinking about in this post.

Nameless has auditions coming up. Old Horsetail Snake has a contest for you to participate in.

Melanie has some tips for wayward soccer moms. Anyone have a tip for Molly? She has a bunch of stuff and doesn’t know what to do with it.

Monica’s son was in a wreck and she had a moment of panic. Sallie wasn’t panicked but she didn’t want to ride the roller coaster.

Simply Satisfied shows us her panties. Southern Fried Girl shares some things about herself.

Steph is in Baltimore and it is sizzling hot. Wild Scorpy is trying to be brief.

Stephanie identifies a lot with a song. Veda shares a song we could probably all identify with sometimes.

Sue believes you never get over grief. Wanda mourns the loss of Peter Jennings.

Inky had some things she had to say. Edge shares some things about himself and Jerry Garcia.

Trick wishes her life wasn’t so blah. Maybe she should go to Kansas. Kristine loved it there.

Undergraduate shares some of her love of books. Love bologna and peanut butter? Check out this from Tish.

Gladys had to put her kitty to sleep. Liz’s little one is having tubes put in her ears.

Janet shares celebrity syndromes. Faith shares an expensive shopping trip.

There we go! As always, I ask that you show these most excellent bloggers some love. Let’em know what you think of their posts.

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I recently watched Friday Night Lights, a story about a high school football team in Texas in the late 80's. I read the book long ago, but just got around to seeing the movie. The story is quite moving, young men coming of age in the pressure cooker environment of high school athletics in a sports crazed town.

The scene where a local bigwig threatens the coach with the loss of his job if he doesn't win the state championship game infuriated me. He'd rallied the team from the loss of their best player and strung together an improbable series of wins to get to the championship game. Then this local yahoo fatass wannabe threatens him like that? Just in the movies, right? Sadly, it is not.

I taught next door to a highly successful high school football coach for many years. He'd won championships and sent many players to play on the collegiate level. One of his players went on to a successful career in the N.F.L. He was respected by the kids and was a man of high integrity. We sat in his room one day eating lunch and he told me, "I think I must be crazy. I depend for my livelihood on the performance of teenage boys. They are just kids." Not professional athletes under a big money contract to perform. Not even college athletes who traded performing for the fans for a college education. Boys. He knew he was just a bad season or two from losing his job. He had to glad-hand with the local boosters who felt free to give him unsolicited advice. "You need to blitz more coach. Put Johnny in at quarterback. You should be throwing to the tight end more." They would slap him on the back when he was successful and act like they were friends for life. He also knew they'd sell him down the river and toss him on the street if he didn't win enough games.

I got to know a college professor pretty well while going through my master's degree program. He was a former high school football coach in Texas. He'd been a successful coach for many years and he accepted a job in one of Texas' most prestigious high schools. Great job for a coach he thought. No classroom teaching responsibilities. A six figure salary. State-of-the-art film technology and workout facilities, better than that of many colleges. All you had to do was WIN. Not just have a good year. WIN them all. After a few years he developed a myriad of health problems including facial tics that plague him to this day. Your quarterback breaks up with his girlfriend and has a bad game? Your star linebacker parties too much the night before the big game? That could cost you your job.

And what about the kids? You take a game they grew up loving to play. They want to win too. It always feels good to win. Then you place them under tremendous pressure. They're just kids. They love the game but they have many other things on their mind. Girlfriends, part-time jobs, grades, and the normal struggles of adolescence compete with athletic competition.

My memories of competing in junior high and high school athletics don't focus much on the "wins and losses". We won some big games and lost some. We won tournament championship here and a conference championship there. Of course it felt good to win, especially when we defeated one of our arch-rivals. But 25 years later I couldn't tell you the won-loss record of my high school basketball teams. What's more, I don't really give a damn. What I do remember is the sense of pride in setting goals and getting better. The first time I dunked the ball in practice and the whole team cheered. The bus trips where we sat on the back of the bus, told jokes, talked about girls, and had farting contests. (Yes, I wasn't always the urbane gentleman you see before you today!) Snapping each other with towels in the locker room.....you were never safe! Peeking into the girl's locker room from the hole in the top of the wall. Lying on the floor exhausted after running wind sprints forever and seeing my friends doing the same. Doing our distance running around the school, stopping in a grandmother's yard, drinking water from her faucet, and thinking we were getting away with something. A good friend coming off the bench and hit a big shot to win the game. Getting "strawberries" from diving on the floor for loose balls Post game parties at the lake or a local pizza parlor. Feeling a common purpose and sense of brotherhood.

Many times it is the adults that don't have their priorities straight. The kids do. They know its just a game. They have fun and they want to win. Over 95% of them will never play that game at a competitive level again once they leave high school. The coach that thinks that the game should be the only thing in their lives they care about? The downtown store owner who thinks that every win and loss is a reflection on HIM? The dad who wants to re-live his glory days through his kids? They should leave those kids the hell alone. Let them make their memories. Let them do their best and enjoy it while they can.

I never coached at the high school level, but I did coach junior high school basketball in a very sports-oriented town. To his credit, my principal told me, "I don't care if you win a game. Just teach the kids how to play the game." That was a good thing because wins were hard to come by with some of the teams I coached. I played all the kids every single game. Could I have added an extra win or two to my column? Sure. But at what cost? I was playing an away game once and the uncle of one of my girls kept yelling at her, her teammates and me from right behind the bench." I ignored him for awhile. But during a timeout he kept yelling while I was trying to talk to the girls. I turned and told him to be quiet. He said, "I don't have to be quiet. You shut up." I got a little angry. I told him, "I asked you nicely once. I'm not asking you nicely again. Shut the hell up or I'll have you thrown out." He said, "you can't do that". I just stared. He said, "you're gonna lose if you don't change what you're doing." I said, "I might lose but you won't be here to see it." He shut up. I wanted to shake him by the collar and say, "its a kid's GAME! Its not the N.B.A. finals!" (btw....we won anyway without his esteemed advice!)

In the end its just trophies gathering dust in a case. The real losers are those who want to take children and treat them like they are professional athletes. The parents who denigrate the self worth of their own children over a game. The coaches who forget that they are teachers first. All of the other people who feed off the athletic exploits of kids like its something they own. They don't own it. The kids do.

Teach them well and let them play. Its just a game.
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Its the middle of the week, but its like the beginning for me. Tomorrow I go back to work. Goodbye sleeping in. Goodbye late, late nights playing online or watching movies. Hello morning routine! Goodbye shorts and ratty t-shirts. Hello suit and tie!

Speaking of suits and ties, I purchased four new dress shirts and a few new ties last weekend. Shirts and ties are my thing. I purchased light purple, white, gray, and dark blue Crazy Horse dress shirts. I bought ties for some of them and mentally matched one of them with a tie I have in my closet. My suits are all cleaned and hanging in the closet. My shoes are polished. My socks are organized. I'm ready.

Note the shirt and tie Patrick is wearing in the picture. Several times this summer he has insisted on wearing that white shirt and tie. He told me that he wanted to wear that shirt and tie with the kilt he brought home from England to school. I drew the line there. No kilt at school.

I wasn't the perfect husband during my married days, but at least I never did this:
A Macedonian man left his wife at an Italian service station and only realized he had driven off without her six hours later, news agency Ansa said.
That would kinda suck.

It wouldn't however, suck as bad as this:
A 75-year-old German was so shocked he had accidentally run down his wife he started forward and drove over her again, authorities said Wednesday.

I want everyone to go read this post and offer your congratulations to Laine. She just got married in Las Vegas, Elvis and all. I consider Laine to be a dear friend of mine, and if I was any happier for her I would burst. She's a beautiful, passionate, talented woman who deserved this so much. It wasn't all that long ago that she first mentioned Joe in this post. Those of us who read her regularly watched this grow before our eyes. I just love Laine. Lets see how many comments HaloScan can take.

One thing I've enjoyed about living in Oklahoma again is tomatoes. Thats right, tomatoes. I love fresh tomatoes and haven't found them to be nearly as good in the other places I've lived. Aubree shares this love with me, and she and I have been devouring tomatoes for the past couple of months. Slice'em, salt'em, and put'em away. Ahhh.

Aubree and I spent an entire afternoon sorting through her clothes.....again. We sorted them into "school clothes" and "play clothes" and organized them accordingly. One dresser full of each and a closet rod that is pretty full. She remarked that my mother had told her there were clothing sales going on in a couple of weeks and asked if she could still go. I told her that it looked like she had plenty of clothes. She sighed and said, "Dad, a woman never has enough clothes. Don't you know that?"

So how is YOUR week going?
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I've seen many bloggers post the often amusing internet searches that lead people to their blogs. I've never done it before, but there is a first time for everything. Some of these leave me completely mystified.

leashed penis - Huh? That sounds rather painful. To each their own and all that, but that just doesn't work well for me. Maybe I'm missing out.

should stop touching my girlfriends breasts? - My personal advice would be no.

"roselle " dating in tulsa - Roselle, you're right here in Tulsa dating people and never called me? I'm hurt.

brian molly christine - I promised never to talk about that night! Don't worry girls, my lips are sealed.

the photo bears a strong resemblance to Nero's features - I don't even own a fiddle and I don't think I look like Nero.

girls with tongue rings doing blowjobs - Ok, must stop thinking about this now. *Gulp*

daughter armwrestled I don't think my daughter and I have ever arm wrestled. I'd win. I think.

complaining and backstabbing - Imagine that!

"videoblog" + girlfriend + sex + naked + watch - Where? where? where?

"Brian Stone" asshole - could've been worse I guess.

meeting the ex-husband's girlfriend - that sounds like a lot of fun.

the house is rockin - then don't bother knockin'!

I'm thinking that internet search technology needs a little tweaking if those searches bring you here. People must've been pretty disappointed.

But just to clear the air, I'd like to let Google and Yahoo know that my penis isn't leashed, I don't have a girlfriend with a sex videoblog, I look nothing like Nero, I don't have an ex-husband, my house isn't rockin' right now, and I'm not an asshole. Well, most of the time. I haven't even thought about the girl with the tongue ring. Really, *cough*, I haven't.

I'm off to arm wrestle my daughter. If I lose, I won't complain or backstab.

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My audio of the Sullivan Ballou letter below.
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My last history post was about an American president. Previous posts have been about people who are fairly well known in history. Their names have been in most history books. They've had books written about them.

I wanted to write about a Civil War figure. There are so many obvious choices. Lee. Grant. Longstreet. McClellan. Pickett. Stuart. Jackson. Famous men. Strategic geniuses. Valiant warriors.

Instead I've chosen to write about a man who held the rank of major in the Union army and died in the war's first major battle. I chose him for a couple of different reasons. Let me introduce you to Major Sullivan Ballou.

Ballou grew up in Rhode Island. He graduated from Brown University, studied law, and entered politics. He was elected to the Rhode Island legislature and was elected its speaker at age 28. He joined the newly formed Republican Party and was an early supporter of Lincoln for president.

His political career was interrupted by the secession of southern states from the Union after Abraham Lincoln as president. When the call went out for volunteer soldiers he immediately volunteered and was commissioned with the rank of major in the 2nd Rhode Island Regiment.

As one nation split into two, Ballou answered the call to arms like millions of men on both sides did. Boys as young as twelve years old and men in their 70's put on the blue or gray uniform. Ballou was well known in his regiment, and a number of the men that served under him he had known most of his life.

Ballou's regiment went to Washington, D.C. along with those of the other northern states. Soldiers camped on the White House lawn, slept in the Capitol Building, and bathed in the Potomac River. They prepared for an assault on Confederate troops in Virginia and most people believed the war would be over shortly. On the day Ballou and his men marched out to fight their fellow Americans, some politicians went along with picnic lunches, not wanting to miss any of the action.

Sullivan Ballou was married to Sarah and had two young sons...Edgar and Willie. He was by all accounts deeply in love with his wife and a devoted father to his sons. As he sat in his tent in the sweltering July heat he wrote the following letter to his wife:

My very dear Sarah:

The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days -- perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more.

Our movement may be one of a few days duration and full of pleasure -- and it may be one of severe conflict and death to me. Not my will, but thine O God, be done. If it is necessary that I should fall on the battlefield for my country, I am ready. I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans upon the triumph of the Government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing -- perfectly willing -- to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt.

But, my dear wife, when I know that with my own joys I lay down nearly all of yours, and replace them in this life with cares and sorrows -- when, after having eaten for long years the bitter fruit of orphanage myself, I must offer it as their only sustenance to my dear little children -- is it weak or dishonorable, while the banner of my purpose floats calmly and proudly in the breeze, that my unbounded love for you, my darling wife and children, should struggle in fierce, though useless, contest with my love of country?

I cannot describe to you my feelings on this calm summer night, when two thousand men are sleeping around me, many of them enjoying the last, perhaps, before that of death -- and I, suspicious that Death is creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with God, my country, and thee.

I have sought most closely and diligently, and often in my breast, for a wrong motive in thus hazarding the happiness of those I loved and I could not find one. A pure love of my country and of the principles I have often advocated before the people and "the name of honor that I love more than I fear death" have called upon me, and I have obeyed.

Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me to you with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly on with all these chains to the battlefield.

The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when God willing, we might still have lived and loved together, and seen our sons grow up to honorable manhood around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me -- perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar -- that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name.

Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have oftentimes been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm. But I cannot. I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more.

But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the garish day and in the darkest night -- amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours -- always, always; and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by.

Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again.

As for my little boys, they will grow as I have done, and never know a father's love and care. Little Willie is too young to remember me long, and my blue-eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with him among the dimmest memories of his childhood. Sarah, I have unlimited confidence in your maternal care and your development of their characters. Tell my two mothers his and hers I call God's blessing upon them. O Sarah, I wait for you there! Come to me, and lead thither my children.

Sullivan

One week later Sullivan Ballou received a severe wound to his leg in the 1st Battle of Bull Run (also called the Battle of Manassas). He did not survive a battlefield amputation and died on July 29, 1861. He was 32 years old. He never had a chance to mail that letter. It was found in his personal effects. His wife, Sarah, would never remarry and she lived until 1917. She honored Sullivan's wishes and raised their two boys into "honorable manhood". They married two sisters and moved west after they grew up.

They don't write love letters like that any more, do they? I've read this letter and told this story to a room full of 8th graders and had half the room in tears. Ballou's love for his wife intertwined with his sense of duty to his country shines through in his writing. Somehow he just knew.

Its ordinary men like Ballou who fight wars. On the day Ballou died, 4000 other soldiers also went to their deaths. Before the long bloody war was over he would be joined in death by over 600,000 of his fellow countrymen. The politicians made their promises, the generals plotted their strategies, and men like Sullivan Ballou bled and died.



For me, Sullivan Ballou symbolizes the sacrifice a country makes of its young men when it goes to war. Ballou believed his cause was worth dying for, even knowing the cost to his family. He grew up fatherless and you can tell from his writing how much it anguishes him that his sons might have to do the same. There have been millions like him before and since. Ordinary people who are willing to lay it all on the line for an ideal.

Put aside the politics and the right or wrong of this war or that one. Ordinary men like Sullivan Ballou have been leaving widows and fatherless children throughout recorded history. Soldiers from my country have died on the grassy green of Lexington, along the Rio Grande, on the rolling hills of Gettysburg, muddy trenches in France, on the beaches of Normandy, the jungles of Vietnam, and on the streets of Baghdad. Each of them had someone who would love and miss them. Many had their own Sarahs.

In my letters post I wrote about what I might write if death appeared imminent. Sullivan Ballou wrote his. I wonder how she felt reading it? How many times in the 56 years she survived after his death that she turned to that letter for comfort? She always had one thing that many people never have in their entire life. She had a spouse that she knew loved her with every fiber of his being. I imagine her as an elderly woman pulling out that tear-soaked, tattered letter from a chest and reading it yet again.

Ballou died on the blood soaked battlefield of Bull Run, but his devotion, simple eloquence, and passion allows him to live beyond the grave.

R.I.P.


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Babs tagged me for this last week. Sunday is a great day for memes. I can't possibly say no to Babs, so here it is!

Five Light Reads: These are those quick break time type reads
1) The Sporting News- My favorite sports read.
2) CNN.com - I start my day here by checking the news.
3) The Sapulpa Daily Herald - my local paper.
4) The Smoking Gun - its a guilty pleasure.
5) The Tulsa World - the "big city" newspaper in my area.

Five Reads to Make Me Think: This is where I am today

1) "Leaves of Grass" by Walt Whitman. It takes some effort to read Whitman, but this classic is timeless.
2) 3 Quarks - A friend recently turned me on to this intellectual, edgy, and challenging site.
3) The Economist – serious stuff when you’re in the mood for it.
4) “The Old Man and the Sea” by Ernest Hemingway – the movie they made of it was awful, but I love the book. I get something a little different from it every time I read it.
5) “A Vision For the Middle School” by Ann Ross. My latest educational read.

Five Songs Which Turn Me On:

1) “Smoke Gets In Your Eyes”, The Platters. Perfect for a grinding slow dance.
2) “Living For the Love of You”, The Isley Brothers. A very sensual, erotic song
3) “Lets Get It On”, Marvin Gaye. Yes, lets! :)
4) “Witchy Woman”, The Eagles. Maybe it’s the raven hair and ruby lips.
5) “Still”, The Commodores. It brings up some teenage backseat memories. Oh yes.

Five Best Movie Dramas:

1) “Braveheart” – It sends chills up and down my spine.
2) “The Godfather” trilogy - I can’t pick just one of them.
3) “Bridge On the River Kwai” – In my mind, the finest war film every made.
4) “Schindler’s List” – A glimpse of humanity in a dark time.
5) “To Kill A Mockingbird” – A brave film for the time. Classic and timeless.

Five Best Movie Comedies:

1) “The Blues Brothers” – what else? Belushi was the master and the soundtrack is superb.
2) “When Harry Met Sally” – the restaurant orgasm scene by itself is worth watching.
3) “Blazing Saddles” – pardon me while I laugh just thinking about it.
4) “M.A.S.H.” – led to one of television’s greatest all-time sitcoms.
5) “Animal House” – Ok, its beyond silly. But I laugh my ass off every time I see it.

Five People To Tag:

I don't think I'll tag anyone specifically this time, but feel free to play around with this yourself!

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The story of the Russian submarine ran aground hundreds of feet below the surface and the attempts to rescue the crew is a harrowing one. I fervently hope for the safe return of all of the crewmen to their homes and families.

As I often do, I found myself imagining what it would be like in their place. Stuck hundreds of feet below the surface. Rescue is an iffy proposition and help may not arrive before they run out of air. What is on their minds? Survival to be sure. Doing everything they can to preserve the air they have remaining. Trying to keep from panicking. What else are they thinking about? What would I be thinking about? I'd want to remain hopeful for rescue. I'd also want to be realistic and understand that I might not make it.

I'd hope that submarine had a nice legal pad and some ink pens floating around. I'd want to do some writing.

I'd think about my kids. I'd write a letter to each of them. I'd want them to know what they've meant to me. The joy they've brought to my life. How proud I am of them. Things I'd want them to remember. That raising them has been the single best thing their dad has ever done in his life. If I made it out alive, I'd put the letters away and show them some day. I'd express the thoughts as soon as I could hold them in my arms.

I'd write a letter to my parents. I'd thank them for the love and guidance they gave me in my childhood and beyond. For being there through the good times and the bad. For the unconditional love they've given me. For being the wonderful people they are. If I made it out alive, I'd show them what I wrote.

I'd write a letter to both of the women I once called my wife. I'd thank them for the years of their lives they gave to me. For nursing me when I was sick, comforting me when I hurt, making me laugh and smile so many times, and being my partner. I'd forgive them for their failings and ask them to forgive me of mine. No matter what has happened, the years we spent together have made an indelible imprint on me and on my children. If I made it out alive, I don't know if it would be proper to send them, but knowing myself I probably would.

I'd write a letter to the principals of each of the five schools I've been privileged to work at during my career. I'd thank my colleagues, parents, and students for the unequaled honor of being allowed to work with those children. Do they know how much I've learned from them and the joy they've brought to my life? How damn lucky I've been to spend my life working with some of the best kids you'll ever see? If I made it out alive, I'd send those letters.

I'd write letters to other women who have been in my life. I'd thank them for the love they gave when it wasn't deserved. I'd tell them I was so deeply sorry for any pain I might've caused them. I'd remind them of some of the good times we had together. I'd tell them that no matter what paths we may have taken, love never completely dies, at least for me. The contributions they made to my life were long lasting and meaningful. If I made it out alive? I think I just might send those letters.

I'd write letters to some of my favorite teachers from my school days. Some of them have passed away, but I'd write them letters anyway. Mrs. Foshee? You helped spark my lifelong love of reading. Mrs. Howard? Behind that gruff exterior I could feel the love you had for kids. Coach Nero? You were my hero. Mrs. Ragsdale? You brought me out of the clouds so gently. Mr. Barr? I didn't think it was possible for me to like history any more until I took your class. Coach Davidson? You believed in me and it felt so damn good. Mr. Hutchings? You were perhaps the smartest man outside of my dad that I knew in childhood. You also loved what you were doing and it showed. If I made it out alive, I'd send those letters.

I'd write a letter to Brynden. He may have been known as my stepson, but I always regarded him as my son. I'd tell him I wished I could've been there his last couple of years of high school. I'd thank him for all the smiles he brought to my face. I'd express to him the belief I had in his future being bright. I'd tell him I loved him. If I made it out alive, I would so drop that letter in the mail.

I'd write a letter to Bob, my best friend from 6th grade into adulthood. I'd tell him I loved him and that I regretted that we'd grown apart over all these years. I'd thank him for the countless escapades and good times we had together growing up. If I made it out alive, I'd mail it to him in a heartbeat.

I'd write letters to my brothers. I'd tell them how much I've enjoyed seeing them grow into men. Real men, the kind that care about those around them, and love their families. I'd re-tell some of our favorite stories from growing up. I'd thank them for sticking by me and my children during the hardest of times. If I made it out alive, I wouldn't hesitate to send those letters.

I'd write letters to my blog friends. Some people may denigrate "online friendships" as if they don't count. They damn sure do, at least for me. There are many readers of this blog I'd want to write to. I'd want to thank them for their encouragement, wisdom, and love. Maybe you've just left comments here. Maybe you've exchanged supportive and loving emails with me. Maybe we've talked on the phone and your voice has brightened my life. Maybe we've just made each other laugh or maybe we have a deeper friendship. In any case, I'd want each and every one of you to know how I felt. If I made it out alive, I'd send those letters. I might even post them right here.

By this point I would have probably gone through several legal pads and quite a few ink pens. I'd have a huge stack of letters.

What is that I hear? We're being rescued? We're safe?

As I pondered the harrowing events of the those few days, I'd be asking myself this simple question:

Why did it take something like this for you to write those letters?
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The weekend! My last weekend before going back to work later next week. A storm knocked my electricity out for a good chunk of yesterday. A water main break kept my house out of water for a big part of today. Did that stop me from doing the weekend roundup? Nooooooo way!

I also went and nominated some of my fellow Oklahoma bloggers for the 2005 Oklahoma Blog Awards. If you're an Okie blogger, go make some nominations! There are some excellent Oklahoma blogs out there.

Without further ado, please take a stroll down a shady lane with me and check out this week's featured blog posts:

Maddy demonstrates that foster care can be a contradiction in terms. Sanora demonstrates that ex-spouses can still appreciate each other.

What would you do if you weren’t afraid? Stationery Queen knows. Why do so many guys in Maine have facial hair? If you know, tell T. Marie please!

Chrissy’s neighbor bought her kids a pool. She wasn’t pleased. Scorpy looked up the lyrics to “her song”. She was all that pleased either.

Restless Angel was feeling sad. Babs was feeling frugal.

Mystic wants more. Muse just wants to be free.

Inky had a reconciliation with Barry Manilow. Nicole can’t reconcile herself to the idea of padded training bras.

New Wave Gurly made a trip to the West Coast. Steph is off on her annual road trip.

Shirazi discusses abandoned blogs. Monica discusses some of her favorite music.

Splendid shares some very cool mysteries. John shares the idea that reality matters.

Kyra writes a touching tribute to her mother. Sleeping Mommy writes a funny story about her grandfather.

Son Son has a new serpentine addition to the family. Greek Shadow hopes to have a novel on bookstore shelves.

Phoenix is frustrated by her inability to get health insurance. Queen Goober was frustrated by the the scale at the doctor’s office.

Breazy is off to see “The Dukes of Hazzard”. I’m off to go look at Grace’s shoulder again.

Karen has been spreading some linky love. Vickie has been doing the same thing. Gotta love both of them.

Caren just got back from Swampstock. Sally just got back from pulling weeds.

Steel Cowboy discusses war. Thomai discusses reaching out and turning the other cheek.

Annabel isn't pleased with HaloScan. Caitlyn is pleased to have a few weeks of break.

Kris has been doing some research into M.S. Trick did some unwanted research about what it is like to do without air conditioning.

Ellen is distressed about her messy house. Cindra is distressed about people not respecting her personal space in check-out lines.

Fly Girl offers up some mouth-watering Canadian specialties. Funky Cowboy could probably whip up a few things too. After all, he’s been referred to as the “kitchen bitch”.

Having a bad day at the office? Dawn has some advice. Wanna know what happens when you Google your first name? Ask Anica.

Penny had a mini-vacation. Teresa is too. She’s off to Florida!

Anne recalls feelings of serenity. Janine’s feelings? She’s cranky.

Melanie met her internet boyfriend. Walker met a blog friend.

Zaza tells the story of Market 2005. Amanda tells the story of doing some thrifty shopping.

Aka Monty probably won't be doing AOL commercials. Chet probably won't be doing any commercials for Blogger.

Red Headed Gal has gone three months without a drink. Stop by and congratulate her! DL has gone one day in her new job. Congratulate her too!

Papa Cool discusses muffin tops. Stacey discusses secret crushes.

Chosha couldn’t believe so many people survived a plane crash. Can you believe that Lewis just has one thing he wants to do before he dies?

Jack shares some of his business tactics. Singing telegrams? Stephanie shares some of the success of her dance class.

Faith had her first real fight with her boyfriend. Mary Lou has some thoughts you should read. You really should.

Redneck Diva wears a boot to bed. Leslie probably won’t be wearing anything in the hot tub.

Ginger is wondering about quirks. Chuck is wondering if U2’s new single was swiped from Coldplay.

Lisa demonstrates the power of a single picture. Jennifer demonstrates that a picture can illustrate life’s choices.

Joe’s girlfriend has decided to stop reading his blog. Christine’s husband is delusional.

Sara tells us we should make peace with our bodies. Darla tells some memories of her grandparents.

Southern Fried Girl had one of those days. Becky had a hard time. Three weeks with no internet access?

Dewdrop doesn’t want sex with her husband. Jazzy felt like sex after seeing spiders on an early morning bike ride.

Feisty Girl is blogging from exotic Cleveland. Lip Schtick is blogging too. She wants to know when you lost your virginity.

Honey is packing and getting ready to move. Rachel is having some Zen moments while cicada watching and lawn mowing.

A.J. has meningitis. Stop and give her some get-well wishes. Joan has some idiosyncrasies.

Nameless went to an estate sale but didn’t buy anything. Leslie bought a lot of things in her grocery store adventure.

Only Kristine could find everything sexual at Home Depot. Well, Laine probably could. I’m sure she’ll find some things sexual in Las Vegas.

Okie Doke notes Oklahoma’s high free/reduced lunch count. Sue notes the passing of a true Canadian hero.

Roselle had a moment….almost. Diana has a foot in two different generations.

Safiyyah shares some things about her you wouldn’t know from her blog. Wanda shares her ideas about body shapes.

Shelli does some serious venting. Snowball vents about her evil ex and then responds to his email.

Janet makes the big move to a dot-com blog. I think its pretty big that Trucker Bob got his 10,000^th hit. Give him another one and check out his cool pictures while you’re there.

Tish is preparing her trial defense. Look out Johnnie Cochran! Veda is trying to find the key to the bongos.

Kiwi Ana remembers eating saveloys. What are those? Read the post! I don’t know if Jen will remember the wedding if she dunks herself in the champagne fountain.

Simply Satisfied had an unsatisfying third anniversary. Pauly had to have a lot of discipline to work on his book.

Sallie shares more of herself. You must read this post. Bec shares her beliefs and desires. You must read this one too.

I never fail to be amazed by some of the incredible writing, personal passion, and great storytelling I find out there. You folks rock my world. Thank you.

Thank them too. Please.

Have a mahvelous weekend my friends!!!

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Sorry for the intursion. I was given an open invite to post. I have been thinking about this for a few days but on my other blog I seam to be having blog troll and stalking issues. What is happiness? Brian, what was it a year ago you and I discussed happiness?! The other day I was asked if I was happy, my response was "I don't really know". I know, I am not depressed as an opposite. "Don't I make you happy?" Interesting question but I really believe no one can really make you happy it comes within. I believe, I can't depend on anyone for my happiness it is a recipe for failure. I know some people are never satisfied with anothers affection, actions or words nothing is ever enough for the state of mind. "You make me happy" Unforunately I know how to keep my S.O. happy as long as sex is offered minimum of 3 times a week, everything is grand. Back to me, I think my happiness is of a comnination of memories and moments with others throughout my days. I am not the stereotypical cheerleader, I do not have a constant smile on my face or giggle like a little school girl. Just what is happiness?
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Exactly one year ago today I arrived in Oklahoma after my move from Washington. The kids and I were exhausted after several days on the road. I wrote this post the next day. My brother and I unloaded the trailer into the kitchen and dining room of my house so that we could finish the floors. in the other rooms.

I can't believe its been a year already. A year! Has it really been that long? So much has changed in 365 days.

That first night I slept in the dining room of my new house, on a twin mattress on the floor, surrounded by my meager worldly possessions. I cried most of the night. A broken man with a bleak outlook on life. Just going through the motions for the sake of the kids. Emotionally at rock bottom...ground zero.

This is not going to be a triumphant "I figured it all out in a year" post. First of all, I haven't. Second, the gains I've made have come with the help of others. This is also not going to be a "poor Brian, lets lament his tragedy" post. I don't feel that way either. I'm not bragging and I don't want pity.

So if I'm not trumpeting my ability to overcome grief or feeling sorry for myself, what is this about? Its about a lot of things. Its about the process of growing and learning. Its about taking responsibility. Its about taking time to search your soul. Its about not taking things for granted. Its about learning to believe in yourself again. Its about sharing. Its about love.

Last August I hated the nights. I hated the weekends. I hated any time when I wasn't surrounded by people and distracted. I dreaded the kids going to bed. I dreaded that feeling of solitude that descended over me like a black shroud. I wanted to be around people or I wanted to sleep. Was I depressed? Silly question. Did I want to admit it? Hell no.

I've learned a lot in the past year. As I said above, I don't have all the answers. I won't be any competition for Dr. Phil in the self-help book department. I'm no poster child for the "getting over being dumped" crowd. I've made some big mistakes along the way. But I did make some discoveries, come to some realizations, and learned to cope. So what have I learned so far? Yes, so far. This is an ongoing process. It doesn't have an ending point where I can jump up and down and say, "OH YEAH! I've made it!"

I've learned to let go of the bitterness. Resentment and anger are fool's gold. I've learned to truly forgive. I've learned to accept responsibility for my own mistakes and shortcomings. I had many. I have many. I've learned to not bury my emotions. Everyone who knows me has noticed the change. I've learned that time is a powerful healer. I've learned to start trusting my instincts again. I've learned to reach out to others and not fear what they might think of me. I've learned to spend more of my time looking forward and not backward.

Does this mean I'm "over it"? Not completely. I'm not sure I will or that its a bad thing that I'm not. "Getting over it" is highly overrated and misleading. I've integrated it with the rest of my life's experiences......good and bad. Does it still hurt? Of course. But it doesn't hurt as bad and it doesn't hurt as often. Do I miss the life I had? I do. But I'm spending more time thinking about the life I want to build than the one I lost. Am I stronger now? Immeasurably. Have I learned from it? I think I've learned more about myself in the last year than any other time in my life. Have I done it by myself? I don't think I could have. So many people have helped.

I've checked out of the Heartbreak Hotel and I've begun to forge a new life, step by painstaking step. I embraced my new job. I strengthened my relationship with my children and with my family. I forged new friendships and met some wonderful people. I've begun to think about the future in a positive light. I had a choice. I could let this be the defining event of my life and wallow in the misery forever, or I could choose to move forward.

One year later I feel like a man again. I've got my sea legs. I've set sail for waters unknown. That leg is still a little creaky and I sometimes slip and fall on the deck. I may not know exactly where I'm going, but the horizon out there looks promising. I'll keep making corrections in my course and fighting those crosswinds. I've got the wind at my back and I know that new adventures await me. My two young first mates are with me every step of the way.

They love me. The power of their love drives me. It nourishes me and strengthens me. Its the most powerful force on Earth. No matter who joins us on the voyage, or who takes a raft and jumps overboard when the waves rock the boat, we'll keep sailing ahead. We'll make a good life. I'll make a good life.

The wind is at my back now. Many of you who are reading this have billowed my sails when I needed it the most. Some of you know it. Some of you probably don't.

My grandfather was someone who enjoyed doing little things to help people. It seemed like he was always there when I was in trouble, and it wasn't just me. Countless people were the beneficiaries of his generosity and his giving spirit. Many years ago he bailed me out of a teenage jam, and as we sat on his front porch steps he put his arm around my shoulders. I'll never forget what he said that morning. He looked at me and said, "We all help each other. I'm proud that I can help you. What I want you to do is to pass it on. Help other people when you get the chance. That is how you repay me."

Pass it on. Those of you who have helped me, listened to me, advised me, inspired me, and loved me in the past year? I hope its ok with you that I repay you by passing it on. Passing it on to my children. Passing it on to the kids I work with. Passing it on to others who are hurting or are going through what I did. Passing it on to my friends. I can try to take your gift and multiply it.

Here I am one year later. Hurt but hopeful. Scarred but resolute. Looking ahead with the lights of hope dancing in my eyes. You know what? I can't wait to see what I'm writing in another year.
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The dog days of August are upon us! I must report that hell would be a good cooling off place compared to this. Triple digit temperatures. Whew!

The summer has flown by. I go back to work in about a week. Time to start gearing up for a new school year! I've enjoyed the time off with the kids and I've enjoyed all the fun I've had this summer. But I'm also starting to get that pumped-up feeling about going back to work.

I'll be busy doing my part to see that school gets off to smooth start. One thing about schools is that you never know what you have until the students actually show up. I've seen 150 more students show up than is anticipated. I've also seen many less. In today's highly mobile society people move around a lot. Those carefully crafted schedules that we are so proud of in the spring? They go out the window.

I work for a week or so before the students show up. Its a nice way to ease back into the job. I get longer than 10 minutes for lunch. Parents aren't usually yelling at me yet. No major interpersonal crises to resolve. And then it begins! :)

I'm looking forward to the fall season. Autumn is my favorite time of year here. Cool weather. Leaves changing. Football season. Bring it on! :)

Is there a reason that Blockbuster and other video rental places only have 1-2 copies of the most popular video games? I took the kid's there today, and naturally they had no copies of any games they might actually want to play.

We rented "Lemony Snicket" and "Tarzan 2" this evening. The kids are hyped. We were disappointed in the video game department, but a couple of movies saved the day.

I've enjoyed a couple of days in peaceful, quiet surroundings. Very nice.

Can you be tricked into thinking that you dislike foods that you really like? This article says you can. I'd give it a try. I could wake up hating tortilla chips, soda, Almond Joy bars, and all that greasy fried stuff I love so much. The problem is I'd starve to death. You'd have to also convince me that I love some other foods. Is modern science really advanced enough to make me believe that I love liver and onions? I remain unconvinced.

Coming soon to a playground near me: A 6'4" school administrator doing two hours of lunch duty every day in the blistering heat for a couple of weeks. Nothing like a blazing sun, a couple hundred sweaty teenagers, and a lot of noise, to help me get back in the spirit of things.

I have a nice stack of shirts that has been sitting on my ironing board for most of the summer. I didn't need to wear the shirts so I didn't iron them. Now I have to iron them all. Have I mentioned that I'm not crazy about ironing? I'm also not crazy about wearing wrinkled shirts. Anti-ironing laziness? Meet Mr. "has to look just right at work". The two of you need to work out your differences in the next week.

Time to go make some gumbo. Zatarain's mixes have made a good cook out of me on more than one occasion!

I had to laugh at this post by Christine (glad to see her posting again). Her husband puts down an acquaintance who is living in a humble circumstance. Is there anything worse than someone who sneers at what they once were? Or could be? I know people who are a paycheck or two away from being on the streets who sneer at the homeless. Its like ex-smokers. They smoke last month and are the worst critics of someone who smokes this month. Or people who have lost a bunch of weight evangelizing those who haven't. I guess the point is that we bash the failures and frailties of others at our own risk.

So how is YOUR week going?
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I chose John Quincy Adams as my next subject in my series of history posts. I hadn't actually planned to do posts about American presidents. So much has been written about them, and I wanted to highlight lesser known figures. But there is something about John Quincy Adams that draws me to him.

The picture on the left was taken in the 1843 at the dawn of the age of photography. It is the first picture ever taken of an American president. Adams is 76 years old, still bright and alert.

When you talk about most American presidents, they are usually identified by their accomplishments in office. Leadership in war. Landmark legislation. Successful negotiations with foreign powers. Not so with Adams. He is better understood by what he did before and after he left office.

Adams holds two historical parallels with George W. Bush. Both were the only sons of presidents ever elected to the office. Both were elected without a majority of the popular vote. But there is much more to this man than historical trivia.

John Quincy Adams was born in 1767 to John and Abigail Adams. He literally sat at his father's knee during the creation of the United States. As a young boy he played cards with George Washington, learned songs from James Madison, and talked religion and politics with Thomas Jefferson. Can you imagine what that must have been like? He came of age during the American Revolution, the writing of the Constitution, and the birth of the American nation.

His father was a brilliant, courageous and often misunderstood man. Most of John Quincy's education was at home. He was educated in the best classical traditions of the day. He learned several languages. He was translating ancient Latin texts before his first pubic hairs appeared. He studied the sciences, classical literature, and music. He traveled often with his father to Europe and made several solo trips there as a teenager. He was admitted to Harvard Law School at 18 years old. His basic inclination was a life of scholarship, but the son of John Adams was raised in the belief that a man served his country. He spent 20 years in a series of diplomatic postings throughout Europe. He negotiated the treaty that ended the War of 1812. He served as Secretary of State under James Monroe and negotiated the treaty that made Florida part of the United States. He is widely considered one of the best Secretaries of State to ever hold the position.

He was persuaded to run for president in 1824. The political party system we know today was still in its infancy. There were four candidates in that election and none of them received a majority of the electoral votes. Andrew Jackson, the hero of the War of 1812, received the most popular and electoral votes. The election was thrown into the House of Representatives and Adams was elected after another candidate threw his support to him. Jackson cried foul and spent the next four years bitterly attacking Adams for what he called a "corrupt bargain."

Adams did not have a popular base of support, and for the most part his presidency was a miserable one. He was under constant attack from Jackson and his allies. He was unable to get Congress to support his initiatives. He was constantly derided as "not being the man his father was." An aristocrat. A diplomat in a job that required hard-nosed leadership. His four years passed quietly and he was soundly defeated by Jackson when he ran for re-election.

The story could've ended right there. The son of another American president who used his name to get into office and proved to be unworthy of it. He could've gone back to Braintree, Massachusetts and spent the remainder of his life in the house that he grew up in. He was 62 years old, plenty old enough to retire, write his memoirs, and do the reading and scholarship that was his first love. Most men didn't live past their 60's in that day and time.

But he didn't. He was asked by local citizens to run for the House of Representatives. He agreed on two conditions: 1) that he would never campaign and ask for votes and 2) that he would always vote his conscience. He became the only American president to ever serve in Congress AFTER being president. Its a step down, isn't it? Go from being president to being one of hundreds of Congressmen? Many thought that it was beneath the dignity of the presidency.

It was as a simple member of Congress that Adams found his voice and his calling. He became the most outspoken member of Congress against slavery and its expansion. Hundreds of times he arose on the floor of the House of Representatives and gave impassioned speeches against slavery. He became so annoying to the other congressmen that they passed a "gag rule", prohibiting the discussion of slavery on the floor. Adams thought this was a an unconstitutional breech of free speech and kept talking. The sergeant-at-arms would remove him. He'd come back and do it again. And again. He was a burr in the saddle of those who wanted to sweep the problem under the rug. His name and his stature as a former president allowed him to withstand an onslaught that a lesser man couldn't have at the time.

In 1841, at the age of 74, Adams took on the case of the slaves from the ship Amistad. The slaves in question had been sold into slavery in Africa and put aboard a Spanish ship. They mutinied on the high seas, killing several crew members, and the ship ended up in New York. This became an international incident and the Spanish government demanded the return of the slaves to their owner. The American president agreed and attempted to manipulate the judicial system to return the slaves. Adams took their case to the Supreme Court. (Several members of the court were slaveowners.) He argued successfully that the detention of the slaves was illegal and that they should be allowed to return to Africa. He made it personal, calling on the justices to live up those who had sat in those seats before them. He appealed to their personal sense of honor and justice and to their respect for the law. If you haven't seen the movie, you should. Anthony Hopkins does a great job in the Adams' role.

Adams believed that resolving the slavery question was a task this nation's founders had left to their sons and grandsons. He was determined to fight it every step. His persistence in Congress and his vociferous arguments in the Amistad case energized a fledgling abolition movement. In the twilight of his life he continued to make the moral case against allowing one man to enslave another.

As a young boy he sat on his father's lap and read one of the original copies of the Declaration of Independence. As a young man he witnessed the birth of a nation. In middle age he served his country in diplomatic roles and as president. As an aging legend he found his cause.

John Quincy Adams died in 1848 in the Capitol building. I don't think he would've wanted it any other way.

In his argument to the Supreme Court in the Amistad case, Adams closed with these words:

In taking, then, my final leave of this Bar, and of this Honorable Court, I can only ejaculate a fervent petition to Heaven, that every member of it may go to his final account with as little of earthly frailty to answer for as those illustrious dead, and that you may, every one, after the close of a long and virtuous career in this world, be received at the portals of the next with the approving sentence—" Well done, good and faithful servant; enter thou into the joy of thy Lord."

They don't make'em like that anymore.

(I'll be away from my computer for a couple of days. If you email or IM me, I'm not ignoring you. I'm just not here!)
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